• I was nearing the end of this week and thinking, “Damn. I might have the least amount of stuff to write about of all time this week.” Yes, this was a legitimate fear I had on a Thursday. My problems are small. Luckily, a few things came up to exacerbate this minor issue. The first was a complete and total surprise. A stranger with TWO followers on Twitter (I believe I was their second) messaged me saying they had found my Tweet about unemployment (“Only took me two hours of being unemployed for my Dad to suggest coding classes again”) on Buzzfeed. That made sense because it had been getting a few random favs here and there even though I wrote it in mid-March. I annoyingly asked said stranger if they would send me a link. They cheerily agreed to do so. To my surprise, there I was in the middle of a great list of Tweets about unemployment by the OG Tim Unkenholz. Put a little spring in my step to have been included in such a great compilation of comics’ Tweets. Unbelievably, this happened a second time this week too. My old friend Nick Adkins reached out and let me know that he spotted a Tweet of mine on The Chive in another listicle about “You know you’re getting old when Tweets.” Mine was “I know I’m getting old because I just said, “Nice, Diane Keaton’s in this.’” It’s interesting to me that these sites curate Tweets into fun lists and give folks a little boost; I got a few new followers out of both. I love that they use their platform to credit comics for jokes; the internet ain’t so bad after all. Even better, now we can all enjoy a little more Diane Keaton-based humor thanks to this.
• Ron Howard’s putting on an open call screenplay competition for four different genres this summer through fall. I’m happy to say I received my first rejection this week for my script “C World” that was written and conceived with Chris Crespo. The competition was looking for “action/adventure” films and our script was more of a “satirical Biblical allegory about corporate greed at a fictional amusement park culminating in a Civil War” but I still submitted because why not? To enter the competition is free which is nice but they really weed people out by making applicants write nine (!) pages worth of questions about their project to even submit. I had to write a frickin’ paragraph on my antagonist’s arc. That’s a lot to ask. Still, thanks to this program I have completely revised and updated two feature-length screenplays of mine that I thought I would never touch again. At the outset of the pandemic I didn’t plan on doing any revisions, just wanting to create new stuff, and now I’ve done overhauls on two 90-page stories. Thanks, Ron Howard. You’re making me work for free but I’m glad I am.
• While not revising a screenplay of my own this week, I cleared my mind and took in the following:
Zombie Spaceship Wasteland (2011): I loved everything about Patton Oswalt’s book “Silver Screen Fiend” and I couldn’t wait to devour this slight hardcover collection of essays and oddities. It didn’t hit in quite the same way as the last one. The book drips with cynicism about...everything. Many stories are about the vapidity of people from his hometown/advertising/people from LA rather than a probing curiosity about what makes people tick. Still, there’s no need to write this quick read off completely. A passage about a Hell gig in Canada when Patton was new to headlining was a genuine page turner (if not, also incredibly pessimistic and a bit victim blame-y). One short chapter written as a graphic novel is basically “What We Do In The Shadows” lite before the film or show existed (it’s two vampires bickering about who gets to gnaw on a human’s neck), another brief one is extremely pretentious punch up notes for what sounds like the dumbest screenplay of all time. Brilliant. I loved his ode to Dungeons and Dragons as well. In fact, he penned an extraordinary poem about his character that’s worth the price of admission (got it for like $2.00 on Amazon). Paging through, you also get a separate entry about the different kind of hack 80s headliners that is less funny than it is mean-spirited and of course the title chapter about zombies, spaceships and wastelands, breaking down what kind of nerd you are based on which genre you fancied the most. Felt like lesser Chuck Klosterman (snobbiest thing I’ve ever written right there). Also, there’s a few slurs written in here that would not fly by 2020 standards at all. So, yes. It’s all over the place. That’s what collections are. I’d say this is for die-hard Patton fans and not a great entry into his oeuvre. Finally, one last note! Most of the chapters conclude with a short review of everything Patton browsed while writing said chapter like “the trivia section of the IMDb page of ‘The Breakfast Club.’” The voyeuristic nature of these asides gave the book a fresh air and an insight into the human mind- we might be writing but rarely are we actually thinking about what we write; more often than not, the mind wanders.
“Undone” (2019): Rafael Bob-Waksberg, the brain behind “Bojack Horseman” was given free rein to create a show on Amazon and this one is a doozy. Employing rotoscope animation like “Waking Life” and far less comedy than “Bojack,” this eight-episode series is about free-spirited/depressed schoolteacher Alma’s life post-car crash. She magically survives and begins communicating with her dead father (played with gravelly Bojack-ness by Bob Odenkirk) in moments where she slips out of consciousness and can see through time and space. The overarching A-story here is that she needs to find out who murdered her father (which is actually almost the exact same story as “Upload” Amazon’s other new “comedy”). This leads to many disorienting, non-linear but grounded scenes that make a little sense and then upon reinspection later in the episode are explained. The B-story with Alma’s sister getting married and her sabotaging it by planting her in a game where they have to kiss teemed with comic tension. The C-story with her boyfriend is just as tense and fantastical. Essentially, it’s a messier “Groundhog Day” but one where every frame looks like a gorgeous painting and you have less of an idea of where it’s going. IF YOU LIKED THE HEAVINESS OF BOJACK AND A DASH OF METAPHYSICAL SCI-FI, THIS IS THE SHORT SERIES FOR YOU (Available on Amazon Prime).
“Come To Daddy” (2020): There was an article in The AV Club (yeah, I’m a daily reader) recommending this new release that didn’t make a ton of noise upon theatrical distribution. I wrote it off as dull horror. That is not the case at all (thanks, AV Club for showing me the way here). This is a wild story, that if not for “Parasite” existing, people would be calling visionary. Here, we take a much simpler route to the action than in “Parasite.” Off the top, the audience follows a bowl-cut sporting Elijah Wood to a remote beach home in the middle of nowhere. His estranged father allegedly wrote him a letter to come see him. Upon meeting, their differences are clear. Wood is a materialistic, spoiled Millennial who lies about being friends with Elton John (this scene early in the movie is a standout and you guessed it, TEEMS WITH COMIC TENSION- my new go to phrase). What follows in this film is not the weird, father-son dynamic being wrung for more laughs. It’s much more sinister and unexpected. This is the rare movie that keeps zagging when you expect it to zig. Halfway in, I had no idea where we were going to end up which is the best feeling you can have as a viewer. IT’S DARK, DIRTY, GOES TOO FAR AND WORTH YOUR TIME (Available on Amazon Prime).
“Down and Out In Beverly Hills” (1986): I am guilty of judging movies by their posters. Judging a book by its cover is unfair but for a movie it’s justified, I think. This soulful movie had the absolute wackiest marketing materials so it seemed like a silly romp. Don’t get me wrong, this movie kind of is and reads as very preachy in 2020. Still, impressive for 1986. This flick tells the story of a homeless con man played by Nick Nolte who ingratiates himself in a well to do family made up of Richard Dreyfuss (basically playing a more laid back version of his character in “What About Bob” which is eerily similar), Bette Middler and their children. Nolte lies through his teeth making up stories to endear himself to these well-meaning, out of touch suckers. He gets them all to realize all of their dreams- to be more laid back for Dreyfuss and for literally everyone else in the family to be sexullay liberated. Honestly, most of it works. There’s quite a bit of commentary about how most of the hippies from the 60s became vagrants and others sold out. I hadn’t ever seen a movie ever fully address this before. Plus, Little Richard has a wild cameo as a neighbor which is one of the most out of left field surprise stunt casting roles I’ve ever seen. I had to do a double take the first time he appeared onscreen. Also of note is the soundtrack. The movie trades in fairly dramatic scenes that are scored by the cheesiest 80s synth music which makes them unintentionally hysterical. DON’T JUDGE A MOVIE BY ITS POSTER; IT MIGHT BE NOT HALF BAD (Available on Amazon Prime).
“An Evening With Beverly Luff Lin” (2018): Everything about this movie looked cloyingly kitschy. Indie for indie’s sake. A distant relative of the “Napoleon Dynamite” aesthetic, if you will. This movie is certainly all of those things and inhabits all of their worst characteristics. Most notably, they have Craig Robinson as the lead (he plays Beverly) and he grunts his way through the whole performance. Seriously. His character mainly just grunts. It’s supposed to be funny but falls so flat. I digress though. This is a bizarre little love square (not triangle) between Aubrey Plaza doing her Aubrey Plaza thing, her husband played by Emile Hirsch who fires her from her job (honestly, a painful scene), Jemaine Clement (a bumbling hitman type whom she kidnaps) and the aforementioned Robinson. Most of it takes place in an 80s hotel manned by obese employees and inhabited by obese guests. In fact, that’s a recurring motif in the film. There’s even a surprising sex scene between two heavy people who are not conventionally attractive not played for laughs. It felt extremely progressive. However, that feeling doesn’t last because svelte characters call every overweight person who appears onscreen “fat.” It’s disappointing. I won’t lie- there is a great movie hiding in here. Matt Berry is very funny as Robinson’s platonic life mate and when Robinson and Plaza have quiet moments here you realize bizarre improvised scenes don’t have the comedic power that two comedic titans have just chatting. So, much fun stuff. This is a waste of a fantastic cast. Even the big finale where we see Beverly Luff Lin perform is more anti-comedy than anything truly funny. One final note! David Gordon Green, the “George Washington” and “Pineapple Express” director executive produced this movie. His influence is certainly felt. I read a long time ago that he wanted to make a movie where all of the extras didn’t have eyebrows for no reason other than to see if audiences noticed. That’s what this entire thing felt like. IF THIS WASN’T SO AFRAID OF BEING AUTHENTIC, THIS WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER (Streaming on Netflix).
“Fun Size” (2012): Other than Eugene and Daniel Levy, the most successful Levy in comedy might be Jane Levy. So, I’ve kept up with her career just in case we meet up at a family reunion of some kind and I can say, “Yeah, I saw ‘Fun Size.’ You were great in that.” Irrational, yes. Still, COULD happen. Anyhow, this is a fun, little movie released by Nickelodeon studios that is a bit more mature than you might expect. Our lead along with her best friend Jane Levy have the unfortunate task of having to shlep said lead’s little brother (who refuses to talk) around on Halloween night through Cleveland since the Mom played by Chelsea Handler is dating a much younger man and going to a house party with him. This leads to the movie’s best sequence where Handler needs a moment to herself and walks in on the host parent’s bedroom where they’re reading. Rather than making it uncomfortable, they bond over tea. Perfect execution. Later, Handler has an exceptionally emotional scene where she grieves the loss of her husband with her kids. Wasn’t expecting such heaviness executed in a way that didn’t feel forced for a kid’s movie. Also, there’s a nerd teenager wearing an Alexander Hamilton costume which is three years ahead of its time. This movie may have been the inspiration (I know I’ll be corrected for this). And there’s a pre-“Silicon Valley” Thomas Middleditch from an era where he would show up in any movie that fell into the comedy genre. He plays a serviceable Thomas Middleditch-type here using the kid to get back with a vengeful ex. Then there’s Kerry Kenney-Silver and Ana Gasteyer as the love interest’s Moms. Lots of talent. Perfect teen comedy if you think you’ve seen them all. YOU DID GOOD, JANE LEVY. YOU DID GOOD (Available on Amazon Prime for $3.99).
• Also, of note, I saw Anna Paone rock it in Catherine Lamoreaux’s stirring adaptation of “Tennessee Women For The Vote” in Plainfield, NJ. Really cool of them to put on a brilliantly staged outdoor reading. Theater ain’t dead. It’s just evolving.
New Charlie Kaufman movie on Netflix this week, folks. Can’t lie. I’m stupid excited.
Keep it chill in the chat
01.) Buzzfeed List: https://www.buzzfeed.com/timunken/of-the-most-relatable-tweets-about-being-unemploye-2luzfazr9?bfseed=sodisco&distro_platform=facebook&fbclid=IwAR27DGrMKXHt9_yQe2d45iw_ZFv0m6aEzkqGhyMsP8-Y7Q6Y7mzIyzeELZA
02.) The Chive List: https://thechive.com/2020/08/27/sorry-but-youre-officially-old-if-you-can-relate-to-these-30-photos-2/
03.) Ron Howard’s competition: https://www.imagine-impact.com/
