Comedy Stray Notes Jan. 22, 2025: How many comedy movies were released in 2024?

From Jan. 1 to Dec. 31, 2024, I only saw two movies in theaters.

As a self-described cinephile, that’s an embarrassingly low number–especially for someone who lists “going to the movies” as one of their hobbies. To make matters worse, one of my two 2024 outings was a screening of my short film We Regret To Inform You at the Ocktober Film Fest (which, as you might have guessed, took place in October).

The only other time I hit the cineplex this past year was to see festival darling/moderate critical and commercial success story Saturday Night with a crowd. I plunked down $12 (my friend is an AMC A-List member and hooked it up), went to a matinee at an Upper West Side theater and winced for 90 minutes. The uncanny valley casting, smug references and half-baked attempts at recreating honest-to-goodness real comedy were alarmingly similar to a stage play I’d written about SNL’s failed 1980-81 season. Seeing them on AMC’s medium-sized screen confirmed my greatest fear: movies that take place backstage at a TV show don't make for truly compelling entertainment (30 Rock being the exception to the rule- that might be because it’s TV and not a movie, too). Sorry, Jason Reitman, I have to speak my truth and now feel free. 

Other than that one disappointment, I’d say 2024 was a pretty damn good year for cinema regardless of what haters on Letterboxd may argue. Coming-of-age movies came into their own (I Like Movies, I Saw The TV Glow, Rap World and Janet Planet were all excellent additions to the subgenre), forgotten indies rocked (Scrambled, Lousy Carter, Good One and The Society of Magical Negroes deserved so much more love than they got) and heartfelt commentaries on motherhood had me laughing and crying (hats off to you, The Wild Robot and Nightbitch).

And, at the time of publication, I still haven’t even seen a lot of this year’s Oscar players like The Brutalist, Anora, A Real Pain and so, so, so many more. 

That’s not what this newsletter is about, though.

This is about a list. An annual Matt Levy list. 

Every January, I set out on a mission. My goal is to document every single comedy film released over the course of the calendar year (although it can get quite confusing with festival versus theatrical and domestic versus international release dates) and prove that the genre known as “comedy” — which has been labeled as “dying” since the end of the Apatow heyday and maybe even before then — quietly continues to thrive.

To prove my point, I dug through reviews, box office reports, YouTube rabbit holes, best of lists and, after all my research, found 301 feature-length comedies that were released over the past 12 months. That’s 196 more than I found in 2022 and 105 more than in 2023. 

There are some you’ve undoubtedly heard of (think Beetlejuice Beetlejuice), many that seemed to fall by the wayside (Joanna Arnow’s sublime The Feeling That The Time For Doing Something Has Passed unfairly made next to no noise) and others from Romania, Italy, France, Sweden, Singapore and a handful of other countries but all existed and prove that this dying medium still has some juice left whether it be box office receipts wise or in terms of cinematic inventiveness.

SIDE NOTE: I included unintentional comedies — i.e. serious movies that made audiences laugh like Megalopolis and Trap — so “301 comedy movies released in 2025” isn’t exactly accurate. It’s more like 295 but you get the idea. 

To share the fruits of this labor of love, I’ve linked each and every one of these 301 movies’ trailers and listed either a) their country of origin if the movie came from outside the U.S. or b) recognizable cast members under c) somewhat specific subgenres like “painstakingly realized, charming animation” and “Christmas ‘comedies.’”

I’ll admit my subgenre labeling is imperfect. Some movies ended up being tossed into categories by themselves like “road trip with family” or “comedy that’s way sexier than it has any right to be.” These obviously aren’t “real” subgenres but felt right. Also, I make all the rules here so there’s that.

Other subgenres I included are catchalls for films that were difficult to define. Therefore, a lot of movies fell under the “underseen slice of life gems about human beings” umbrella (this might be my favorite grouping of movies, FYI) even though they may fit better in another category. Honestly, truth be told, a couple of the flicks here might not even really qualify as comedies but I threw them in because the list would feel incomplete if I didn’t include them and as someone making a comprehensive list that includes the word “All” I felt an obligation to be a completist snob.

I promise this is all less complicated than it sounds. It’s really just a list.

OK, now, you’re probably wondering what’s the point of all this nonsense? To that, I say, fair question.

Basically, I see this massive list of all comedy movies released in a year (my third time doing this now) as a snapshot of a part of the year in film as well as a document of industry trends. There’s a lot to glean from what gets made and what a studio/indie comedy looks like in 2024.

Plus, I enjoy going down a rabbit hole and seeing it through until the very the end.

And I have to atone for my “only going to the movie theater two times in 2024” sin.

The most truthful answer of all though is that I’d like to think this mega list is a helpful resource for fellow obsessive cinephiles seeking out more off-the-beaten path comedies that might not show up on any year-end lists. For example, did anyone else here ever hear of Greedy People starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt? I didn’t and after watching the trailer I wanted to see this crime comedy caper. Looks great. That “hey, that movie looks good and I never heard of it” phenomenon happened to me dozens of times making this list and I was delighted to find so many movies that got little to no press (more on that in a second).

SIDEBAR: Streaming is a double-edged sword. It’s truly amazing that we can see almost any movie at any time. A true democratization of the medium. On the flip side, I hate that movies get dumped online without any pomp and circumstance like they’re YouTube videos now. A new film like, say Scrambled on Hulu for example, gets released on a platform, spends a few weeks on the homepage and then languishes away in the proverbial dollar bin of the streaming services only ever surfacing when you search “comedies” or type something into the search bar and come across the movie when looking for something with a similar title like Scrubs. 

But I digress.

END SIDEBAR. 

More than anything though, I’m tired of the played-out “there are no comedies being made anymore” argument that pops up occasionally in the news, podcasts and online articles. Nothing could be further from the truth. Sure, maybe we aren’t getting many original theatrical studio comedy releases other than The Fall Guy. Sure, a lot of comedies are sequels and reboots. BUT if you look a little closer, you’ll find thoughtful, goofy, giddy pics written or directed by auteurs like Charlie Kaufman, Ethan Coen, Guy Maddin, Richard Linklater and Sean Baker falling through the cracks (yes, they all had comedic movies released in 2024).

So…what are my takeaways after all this possibly pointless research? Well, what stuck out most to me was how poor Lionsgate’s marketing campaigns are. As mentioned above, a lot of these 301 movies made nary a cultural peep even though they had big-name cast members (looking at you, JGL movie). Many of those under-advertised movies were Lionsgate pictures. I hate to throw a production company under the bus (especially one that produced so many comedies!) but man did they drop the ball last year. So much talent, so little buzz. Here’s hoping they rebound in ‘25.

Also, of note, there were way more slice-of-life character studies in ‘24 than in ‘22 and ‘23 but fewer horror comedies. Are we over movies that heighten our fears and want to embrace the prickliness of everyday life instead? Or did the horror comedies from years past underperform and studios decided to cherry-pick even cheaper works hoping audiences would flock to them? Is this just random and I’m overthinking things?

Hard to tell but it happened.

Also, it pretty much goes without saying, but, at this point, there’s really very little money in making comedy films (unless you’re Inside Out 2, Deadpool or Beetlejuice). Many of the movies you’ll find listed below made next to nothing. I like that. I prefer passion projects over commerce machines. The fact that audiences didn’t discover a lot of these flicks is a shame but hopefully they will (and, heck, maybe you, the reader here, will even seek out one or two of these movies after skimming this insanely long list that took way, way, way too long to compile).

Alright! You made it past the prologue! Congrats!

Now, feel free to speed read or pore over (open some tabs! The links are legit!) this mega list. It’s for you. Enjoy and see ya at the movies this year (hopefully).

NOTE: Films that aren’t in English have the country of origin listed instead of actors. There are a few exceptions where the big names in the cast are well-known enough — looking at you, Jackie Chan — that I included them.

NOTE II: If I overlooked anything that you think should be on the list, let me know. There has to be a few I missed.

Semi-humorous prestige films

Anora (starring Mikey Madison, Mark Eidelstein, Yuriy Borisov)

A Real Pain (starring Jesse Eisenberg, Kieran Culkin, Jennifer Grey)

Conclave (starring Ralph Fiennes, Stanley Tucci, Isabella Rosselini)

The Substance (starring Demi Moore, Margaret Qualley, Dennis Quaid)

A Different Man (starring Sebastian Stan, Adam Pearson, Michael Shannon)

Do Not Expect Too Much From The End Of The World (Romania; technically released in the US in 2024)

La Chimera (Italy; starring Josh O’Connor, Isabella Rosselini)

Cash grab sequel/reboots

Inside Out 2 (featuring the voices of Amy Poehler, Lewis Black, Tony Hale)

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (starring Michael Keaton, Winona Ryder, Catherine O’Hara)

Mean Girls (starring Angourie Rice, Reneé Rapp, Tina Fey)

Mufasa (featuring the voices of Aaron Pierre, Kelvin Harrison Jr., Thandie Newton)

Bad Boys: Ride Or Die (starring Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, Rhea Seehorn)

Despicable Me 4 (featuring the voices of Steve Carell, Will Ferrell, Kristen Wiig) 

Axel F (starring Eddie Murphy, Paul Reiser, Joseph Gordon-Levitt)

Ghostbusters: Afterlife (starring Finn Wolfhard, Paul Rudd, Carrie Coon)

Garfield: The Movie (starring Chris Pratt, Samuel L. Jackson, Cecily Strong)

Sonic The Hedgehog 3 (starring Ben Schwartz, Jim Carrey, Keanu Reeves)

Kung Fu Panda 4 (featuring the voices of Jack Black, Viola Davis, Awkwafina)

Road House (starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Conor McGregor, Jessica Williams)

My Spy: The Eternal City (starring Dave Bautista, Craig Robinson, Ken Jeong)

One-of-a-kind surreal visions

Sasquatch Sunset (starring Jesse Eisenberg, Riley Keough, Nathan Zellner)

Problemista (starring Julio Torres, Tilda Swinton, RZA)

Música (starring Rudy Mancuso, Camila Mendes, J.B. Smoove)

The American Society of Magical Negroes (starring Justice Smith, David Alan Grier, Drew Tarver)

KInds of Kindness (starring Emma Stone, Jesse Plemons, Willem Dafoe)

The End (starring Tilda Swinton, Michael Shannon, George Mackay)

Rumours (starring Cate Blanchett, Alicia Vikander, Charles Dance)

Blockbuster action comedies

Hit Man (starring Glen Powell, Adria Arjona, Retta)

The Fall Guy (starring Ryan Gosling, Emily Blunt, Hannah Waddingham)

Panda Plan (China; starring Jackie Chan)

The Union (starring Mark Wahlberg, Halle Berry, J.K. Simmons)

Boy Kills World (starring Bill Skarsgård, H. Jon Benjamin, Sharlto Copley)

Nice Girls (France)

Throwback big-budget studio comedies with bona fide movie stars that flopped

Argylle (starring Bryce Dallas Howard, John Cena, Sam Rockwell)

Wolfs (starring George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Amy Ryan)

The Instigators (starring Matt Damon, Casey Affleck, Hong Chau)

Fly Me To The Moon (starring Channing Tatum, Scarlett Johansson, Ray Romano)

Post-modern superhero films

Deadpool & Wolverine (starring Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Jackman, Matthew McFayden)

The People’s Joker (starring Vera Drew, Bob Odenkirk, Tim Heidecker)

Venom 3: The Last Dance (starring Tom Hardy, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Juno Temple)

Joker: Folie a Deux (starring Joaquin Phoenix, Lady Gaga, Brendan Gleeson)

Borderlands (starring Cate Blanchett, Jack Black, Kevin Hart)

Underseen slice-of-life gems about human beings

Dad and Step Dad (starring Colin Burgess, Anthony Oberbeck, Brian Fiddyment)

Free Time (starring Colin Burgess, Rajat Suresh, Holmes)

Between The Temples (starring Jason Schwartzman, Carol Kane, Robert Smigel)

Hard Truths (starring Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Michele Austin, Bryony MIller)

The Feeling That The Time For Doing Something Has Passed (starring Joanna Arnow, Scott Cohen, Babak Tafti)

His Three Daughters (starring Natasha Lyonne, Elizabeth Olsen, Carrie Coon)

Good One (starring Lily Collias, James Le Gros, Danny McCarthy)

Ghostlight (starring Keith Kupferer, Katherine Mallen Kupferer, Hanna Dworkin)

Suze (starring Michaela Watkins, Charlie Gillespie, Sara Waisglass)

Bird (starring Barry Keoghan, Franz Rogowski, Nykiya Adams)

Lousy Carter (starring David Krumholtz, Martin Starr, Olivia Thirlby)

Stress Positions (starring John Early, Theda Hammel, Qaher Harhash)

Gasoline Rainbow (starring Micah Bunch, Tony Aburto, Nichole Dukes)

Sometimes I Think About Dying (starring Daisy Ridley, Dave Merheje, Meg Stalter)

All Happy Families (starring Josh Radnor, Rob Huebel, Becky Ann Baker)

A Traveler’s Needs (Korea; starring Isabelle Huppert)

On Becoming A Guinea Fowl (Zambia)

The Monk and The Gun (Bhutan)

Bad Behaviour (starring Jennifer Connelly, Ben Wishaw, Alice Englert)

Treasure (starring Lena Dunham, Stephen Fry, Tomasz Wlosok)

The Year Between (Steve Buscemi, Wyatt Oleff, J. Smith Cameron)

The Problem With People (starring Paul Reiser, Colm Meaney, Jane Levy)

60 Miles North (starring Edward Crawford, Jack Mulcahy, Marsha Dietlein)

Crossing (starring Deniz Dumanli, Lucas Kankava, Mzia Arabuli)

Thoughtful satire with a female lead

Blink Twice (starring Naomi Ackie, Channing Tatum, Alia Shawkat)

Nightbitch (starring Amy Adams, Scoot McNairy, Zoe Chao)

Woman of the Hour (starring Anna Kendrick, Tony Hale, Pete Holmes)

I Used To Be Funny (starring Rachel Sennott, Jason Jones, Caleb Hearon)

Skincare (starring Elizabeth Banks, Lewis Pullman, Nathan Fillion)

Quirky indies that wear their Wes Anderson influence on their sleeve

Universal Language (Canada)

We Were Dangerous (New Zealand)

The Falling Star (France)

Club Zero (starring Mia Wasikowska, Sidse Babett Knudsen, Elsa Zylberstein)

Darla In Space (starring Alex E. Harris, Constance Shulman, Thomas Jay Ryan)

Bookworm (starring Elijah Wood, Nell Fisher, Michael Smiley)

Timestalker (starring Alice Lowe, Jacob Anderson, Nick Frost)

Women finding their way in the world

Drugstore June (starring Esther Povitsky, Haley Joel Osment, Bobby Lee)

Downtown Owl (starring Lily Rabe, Vanessa Hudgens, Ed Harris)

Late Bloomers (starring Karen Gillan, Jermaine Fowler, Kevin Nealon)

The Young Wife (starring Kiersey Clemons, Judith Light, Leon Bridges)

Chosen Family (starring Heather Graham, Julia Stiles, Andrea Savage)

Cora Bora (starring Meg Stalter, Darrell Hammond, Chelsea Peretti)

Space Cadet (starring Emma Roberts, Tom Hopper, Poppy Liu)

Spread (starring Elizabeth Gillies, Harvey Keitel, Diedrich Bader)

Addition (starring Teresa Palmer, Joe Dempsie, Eamon Farren)

Sneaky, smart high-concept set in 2000 about dudes finding their way in the world

Y2K (starring Rachel Zegler, Kyle Mooney, Jaeden Martell)

Let’s Start A Cult (starring Stavros Halkias, Wes Haney, Daniel Simonsen)

Coming of age with jokes

I Like Movies (starring Isaiah Lehtinen, Percy Hynes White, Romina D'Ugo)

Rap World (starring Connor O’Malley, Eric Rahill, Jack Bensinger)

Janet Planet (starring Julianne Nicholson, Zoe Ziegler, Elias Koteas)

The 4:30 (starring Austin Zajur, Nicholas Cirillo, Ken Jeong)

Didi (starring Izaac Wang, Joan Chen, Mahaela Park)

Fitting In (starring Maddie Ziegler, Emily Hampshire, D'Pharaoh Woon-A-Tai)

Snack Shack (starring Gabriel LaBelle, Conor Sherry, David Costabile)

Uproar (starring Julian Dennison, Rhys Darby, Minnie Driver)

The Moon and Back (starring Isabel May, Missi Pyle, Nat Faxon)

Alemania (Argentina)

We Grown Now (starring Blake Cameron James, Gian Knight Ramirez, S. Epatha Merkerson)

Wah-Wah (starring Nicholas Hoult, Emily Watson, Gabriel Byrne)

Popular Theory (starring Chloe East, Cheryl Hines, Marc Evan Jackson)

Camp (starring The Sklar Brothers, Joey King, Nolan Gould)

Big Boys (starring David Johnson III, Isaac Krasner, Dora Madison)

Boot Camp (starring Rachel Boudwin, Drew Ray Tannner, Emmanuelle Chriqui)

The Mountain (starring Elizabeth Atkinson, Reuben Francis, Terence Daniel)

Painstakingly rendered, charming animation

The Wild Robot (featuring the voices of Lupita Nyong’o, Pedro Pascal, Matt Berry)

Memoir of a Snail (featuring the voices of Sarah Snook, Eric Bana, Kodi Smit-McPhee)

Orion and the Dark (featuring the voices of Jacob Tremblay, Paul Walter Hauser, Colin Hanks)

Flow (Latvia)

Robot Dreams (Spain/France production)

Chicken For Linda (France/Italy production)

Hitpig (featuring the voices of Jason Sudeikis, Rainn Wilson, Lilly Singh)

Dumb and proud of it

Hundreds of Beavers (starring Ryland Brickson Cole Tews, Olivia Graves)

Ricky Stanicky (starring John Cena, Zac Efron, Andrew Santino)

Brothers (starring Peter Dinklage, Josh Brolin, Brendan Fraser)

Chosen Family (starring Heather Graham, Julia Stiles, Thomas Lennon)

Deaner ‘89 (starring Paul Spence, Star Slade, Will Sasso)

Mind-bending, trippy comedies with lots of rules

Tuesday (starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Lola Petticrew, Arinze Kene)

Self Reliance (starring Jake Johnson, Anna Kendrick, Andy Samberg)

Jackpot (starring Awkwafina, John Cena, Simu Liu)

The Present (starring Isla Fisher, Greg Kinnear, Shay Rudolph)

Me, Myself and the Void (starring Kelly Marie Tran)

It’s What’s Inside (starring James Morosini, Brittany O’Grady, Gavin Leatherwood)

Omni Loop (starring Ayo Edebiri, Mary-Louise Parker, Carlos Jacott)

The Secret Art of Human Flight (starring Paul Raci, Grant Rosenmeyer, Lucy DeVito)

The Invisibles (starring Tim Blake Nelson, Gretchen Mol, Bruce Greenwood)

Horror meets Ha Ha

Heretic (starring Hugh Grant, Sophie Thatcher, Chloe East)

Speak No Evil (starring James McAvoy, Mackenzie Davis, Scoot McNairy)

Late Night With The Devil (starring David Dastmalchian, Laura Gordon, Ian Bliss)

The Front Room (starring Brandy, Kathryn Hunter, Andrew Burnap)

The Humanist Vampire (French-Canadian)

Destroy All Neighbors (starring Jonah Ray, Alex Winter, Jon Daly)

For Sale (starring Andrew Roth, Corinne Britti, Ellie Torrez)

Here For Blood (starring Shawn Roberts, Joelle Farrow, Marc-Andre Boulanger)

Krazy House (starring Nick Frost, Alicia Silverstone, Kevin Connolly)

Mr. Crocket (starring Elvis Nolasco, Ayden Galvin, Alex Akpobome)

The Prank (starring Rita Moreno, Talia Jackson, Nathan Janak)

Founders Day (starring William Russ, Emilia McCarthy, Devin Druid)

The Birthday (starring Corey Feldman, Erica Prior, Jack Taylor)

Get Away (starring Nick Frost, Aisling Bea, Sebastian Croft)

Forever Home (starring Drew Leatham, Sammie Lideen, Cody Hunt)

Departing Seniors (starring Ignacio Diaz-Silverio, Maisie Merlock, Yani Gellman)

Dead Talent Society (Taiwan)

Dead Mail (starring John Fleck, Micah Fitzgerald, Tomas Boykin)

You shouldn’t date that inhuman creature

Lisa Frankenstein (starring Kathryn Newton, Cole Sprouse, Carla Gugino)

Your Monster (starring Melissa Barrera, Tommy Dewey, Kimiko Glenn)

Intermedium (starring Beau Minniear, Emily Keefe, Jesse Posey)

Unconventional, genre-bending sorta historical recountings

Saturday Night (starring Gabriel LaBelle, Rachel Sennott, JK Simmons)

Unfrosted (starring Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Gaffigan, Melissa McCarthy)

The Apprentice (starring Sebastian Stan, Jeremy Strong, Maria Bakalova)

Queer (starring Daniel Craig, Drew Starkey, Jason Schwartzman)

Better Man (starring Robbie Williams, Jonno Davies, Steve Pemberton)

Kneecap (starring Michael Fassbender, Naoise Ó Cairealláin, Liam Óg Ó hAnnaidh)

Pavements (starring Joe Keery, Stephen Malkmus, Tim Heidecker)

Daaaaaali! (France; directed by Quentin Dupieux)

Winner (starring Kathryn Newton, Zach Galifianakis, Connie Britton)

Shirley (starring Regina King, Lance Reddick, Lucas Hedges)

Joy (starring Thomasin McKenzie, Bill Nighy, James Norton)

Goofy sports flicks

The Gutter (starring Susan Sarandon, Paul Reiser, D’arcy Carden)

The Underdoggs (starring Snoop Dogg, Mike Epps, George Lopez)

Sweet Dreams (starring Johnny Knoxville, Theo Von, Bobby Lee)

You Gotta Believe (starring Luke Wilson, Greg Kinnear, Sarah Gadon)

YOLO (China)

Young people rom-coms

My Old Ass (starring Aubrey Plaza, Maisy Stella, Percy Hynes White)

Incoming (Mason Thames, Kaitlin Olson, Bobby Cannavale)

Prom Dates (starring Antonia Gentry, Patty Guggenheim, Terry Hu)

Parachute (starring Courtney Eaton, Thomas Mann, Joel McHale)

Young Werther (starring Allison Pill, Iris Apatow)

Sweethearts (starring Kiernan Shipka, Chloe Troast, Caleb Hearon)

Technically Together (starring Ripley Cooley, Lucas Booth, Cooper Boothe)

Third Wheel (starring Anthony Casabianca, Jason Tamarkin, Kelsey Tarantino)

Lovebug (starring Logan Pepper)

Elevator (Singapore)

Rom-coms with slightly older people

Matt and Mara (starring Matt Johnson, Deragh Campbell, Simon Reynolds)

Players (starring Gina Rodriguez, Damon Wayans Jr., Tom Ellis)

Max and Molli in the Future (starring Aristotle Athari, Zosia Mamet, Grace Kuhlenschmidt)

Upgraded (starring Camila Mendes, Marisa Tomei, Andrew Schulz)

French Girl (starring Zach Braff, Vanessa Hudgens, Evelyne Brochu)

Irish Wish (starring Lindsay Lohan, Ayesha Curry, Ed Speleers)

Find Me Falling (starring Harry Connick Jr., Ali Fumiko Whitney, Agni Scott)

With Love and a Major Organ (starring Anna Maguire, Hamza Haq, Veena Sood)

The Breaking Ice (China-Singapore)

The Good Half (Nick Jonas, Elisabeth Shue, Matt Walsh)

Which Brings Me To You (starring Lucy Hale, Nat Wolff, Genevieve Angelson)

Running On Empty (starring Keir Gilchrist, Jim Gaffigan, Jay Pharoah)

Wallbanger (starring Kelli Berglund, Amadeus Serafini, Cathy Ang)

This Time Next Year (starring Lucien Laviscount, Sophie Cookson, John Hannah)

Breakup Season (starring Chandler Riggs, Samantha Isler, James Urbaniak)

Mother of the Bride (starring Brooke Shields, Miranda Cosgrove, Benjamin Bratt)

Dandelion (starring Kiki Layne, Thomas Doherty, Melanie Nicholas-King)

My Favourite Cake (Iran)

The Nature of Love (France)

Volveiris (Spain, France)

Gondola (Germany, dialogue-free)

Crime movies with comedic elements

Drive-Away Dolls (starring Margaret Qualley, Geraldine Viswanathan, Beanie Feldstein)

The Last Stop In Yuma County (starring Jim Cummings, Faizon Love, Richard Brake)

Greedy People (starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Himesh Patel, Lily James)

LaRoy, Texas (starring John Magaro, Steve Zahn, Dylan Baker)

Carry-On (starring Taron Egerton, Jason Bateman, Dean Norris)

The Killer’s Game (starring Dave Bautista, Terry Crews, Sofia Boutella)

Role Play (starring David Oyelowo, Kaley Cuoco, Bill Nighy)

Lift (starring Kevin Hart, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Vincent D'Onofrio)

Lake George (starring Carrie Coon and Shea Wigham)

Marmalade (starring Joe Keery, Aldis Hodge, Camila Morrone)

The Trouble With Jessica (starring Olivia Williams, Alan Tudyk, Rufus Sewell)

Stealing Jokes (starring Jeff Dye, Michael Rappaport, Ariana DeBose)

The Balconettes (France)

Plastic Guns (France)

Trouble (Sweden)

We’re having a baby! The movie

Babes (starring Ilana Glazer, Michelle Buteau, Hasan Minhaj)

Another Happy Day (starring Lauren Lapkus, Carrie Coon, Tim Kazurinksy)

Scrambled (starring Leah McKendrick, Ego Nwodim, Andrew Santino)

Plan B (starring Jamie Lee, Jon Heder, Subhah Agarwal)

High society skewering

Coup! (starring Peter Sarsgaard, Billy Magnussen, Fisher Stevens)

The Line (starring Alex Wolff, John Malkovich, Halle Bailey)

The Duel (starring Dylan Sprouse, Callan McAuliffe, Patrick Warburton)

Linda (Argentina)

The Arrival (starring Pooyah Mohseni, Peter Bradbury, Nick Hamparyan)

Old folks foibles

Thelma (starring June Squibb, Fred Hechinger, Richard Roundtree)

The Fabulous Four (starring Susan Sarandon, Bette Midler, Megan Mullally)

Summer Camp (starring Diane Keaton, Kathy Bates, Alfre Woodard)

Arthur’s Whiskey (starring Diane Keaton, Patricia Hodge, Hayley Mills)

The Last Rifleman (starring Pierce Brosnan, John Amos, Clémence Poésy)

The Nana Project (starring Mercedes Ruehl, Tony Todd, Morgan Fairchild)

I’ll Be Right There (Edie Falco, Michael Rappaport, Charlie Tahan)

Older woman has a relationship with a younger dude

Babygirl (starring Nicole Kidman, Harris Dickinson, Antonio Banderas)

A Family Affair (starring Nicole Kidman, Zac Efron, Joey King)

The Idea Of You (starring Anne Hathaway, Nicholas Galitzine, Reid Scott)

Lonely Planet (starring Laura Dern, Liam Hemsworth, Diana Silvers)

Sly industry sendup

First Time Female Director (starring Chelsea Peretti, Jordan Peele, Amy Poehler)

Microbudget (starring Patrick Noth, Bobby Moynihan, Maria Bamford)

My First Film (starring Odessa Young, Jane Wickline, Phillip Ettinger)

Feel-good heartwarmers

The Supremes At Earl’s All You Can Eat (starring Aunjanue Ellis-Taylor, Sanaa Lathan and Uzo Aduba)

My Penguin Friend (starring Jean Reno, Adriana Barraza, Rocio Hernandez)

Tokyo Cowboy (Japan)

How To Make Millions Before Grandma Dies (Thailand)

Dog On Trial (France)

Throwback, family-friendly comedies

If (starring Ryan Reynolds, Steve Carell, John Krasinski)

Harold and the Purple Crayon (starring Zachary Levi, Zooey Deschanel, Jemaine Clement)

The Family Pack (France)

Kangaroo (Australia)

Uncomfortable thrillers with a dark comedic streak

Strange Darling (starring Willa Fitzgerald, Kyle Gallner, Madisen Beaty)

Wicked Little Letters (starring Olivia Colman, Jesse Buckley, Timothy Spall)

MIller’s Girl (starring Martin Freeman, Jenna Ortega, Dagmara Dominczyk)

Mother, Couch (starring Ewan McGregor, Ellen Burstyn, Rhys Ifans)

American Dreamer (starring Peter Dinklage, Shirley MacLaine, Danny Glover)

Comedy that’s way sexier than it has any right to be

Parthenope (starring Celeste Dalla Porta, Stefania Sandrelli, Gary Oldman)

Christmas “comedies”

Red One (starring The Rock, Chris Evans, J.K. Simmons)

Hot Frosty (starring Lacey Chabert, Dustin Milligan, Craig Robinson)

Christmas Eve In Miller’s Point (starring Michael Cera, Elsie Fisher, Gregg Turkington)

Nutcrackers (starring Ben Stiller, Linda Cardellini, a slew of annoying kids)

Dear Santa (starring Jack Black, Keegan Michael Key, shudder Post Malone)

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever (starring Judy Greer, Pete Holmes, Lauren Graham)

Our Little Secret (starring Lindsay Lohan, Kristin Chenoweth, Jon Rudnitsky)

Jack In Time For Christmas (starring Jack Whitehall, Michael Bublé, Jimmy Fallon)

A Sudden Case Of Christmas (Danny DeVito, Andie MacDowell, Wilmer Valderrama)

Meet Me Next Christmas (starring Christina Milian, Devale Ellis, Kofi Siriboe)

Get Him Back For Christmas (starring Alexa PenaVega, Alan Powell, Victoria Jackson)

LGBTQUIA+ laughers

Am I Okay? (starring Dakota Johnson, Jermaine Fowler, Tig Notaro)

Good Grief (starring Dan Levy, Luke Evans, Kaitlyn Dever)

Bonus Track (Great Britain; featuring Josh O’Connor)

Summer Solstice (starring Bobbi Salvör Menuez, Marianne Rendón, Mila Myles)

What A Feeling (Austria)

Fantastical goofs

The Invisble Raptor (starring Sean Astin, Larry Hankin, Caitlin McHugh)

Seize Them! (starring Aimee Lou Wood, Nicola Coughlan, Nick Frost)

Road trip with family

Bleeding Love (starring Ewan McGregor, Clara McGregor, Kim Zimmer)

Silly showbiz satire from overseas

Audrey (Australia)

The Spin (Ireland)

Heavier Trip (Finland)

Character study dramedies that are a little heavy on the drama

Ezra (starring Bobby Cannavale, Rose Byrne, Whoopi Goldberg)

Suncoast (starring Woody Harrelson, Laura Linney, Nico Parker)

Reverse The Curse (starring David Duchovny, Logan Marshall-Green, Stephanie Beatriz)

Little Brother (starring J.K. Simmons, Daniel Diemer, Philip Ettinger)

Notice To Quit (starring Michael Zegen, Kasey Bella Suarez, Nell Verlaque)

And Mrs. (starring Aisling Bea, Billie Lourd, Colin Hanks)

Allswell In New York (starring Daphne Rubin-Vega, Bobby Cannavale)

Drive Back Home (starring Alan Cumming, Charlie-Creed Miles, Clare Coulter)

The Critic (starring Ian McKellen, Gemma Arterton, Mark Strong) 

Heightened (starring Sara Friedman, Dave Register, Mike Mitchell)

Empire Waist (starring Mia Kaplan, Missi Pyle, Rainn Wilson)

Goodbye, Hello (starring Steve Guttenberg, Alan Trong, Hollie Bahar)

Allen Sunshine (starring  Vincent Leclerc, Joseph Whitebird, Catherine Souffront)

Out of My Mind (starring Phoebe-Rae Taylor, Rosemarie Dewitt, Luke Kirby)

Preachy fish out of water social commentaries about the difficulties of parenting

A Great Divide (starring Ken Jeong)

Goodrich (starring Michael Keaton, Mila Kunis and Andie MacDowell)

The Penguin Lessons (starring Steve Coogan, Jonathan Pryce, a boatload of penguins)

Docs about comedy

Will and Harper (about Will Ferrell’s friendship with Harper Steele)

Brats (about the Brat Pack)

Sorry/Not Sorry (about the Louis C.K. fallout)

Breaking The Fourth Wall (about open mics at a venue called Fourth Wall in LA)

The World According To Allee Willis (about the life of a Pee Wee’s Playhouse artist)

Cringey right-wing attempts at humor

Am I Racist (Matt Walsh goes undercover as a DEI scholar)

Religious fare that looks at Christianity through a comedic lens

The Book of Clarence (starring Lakeith Stanfield, James McAvoy, Benedict Cumberbatch)

Chronicles of a Wandering Saint (Argentina)

Not Another Church Movie (starring Jamie Foxx, Vivica A. Fox, Mickey Rourke)

Unintentionally funny, veering into parody

Megalopolis (starring Adam Driver, Giancarlo Esposito, Aubrey Plaza)

Madame Web (starring Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, Adam Scott)

The Beekeeper (starring Jason Statham, Josh Hutcherson, Jeremy Irons)

Trap (starring Josh Hartnett, Ariel Donoghue, Saleka Shyamalan)

Poolman (starring Chris Pine, Annette Bening, Danny DeVito)

Love Bomb (starring Jessie Andrews, Zane Holtz, Josh Caras)

Silly murder mystery

Reunion (starring Lil Rel Howery, Jillian Bell, Billy Magnussen)

Fun-loving war picture

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (starring Henry Cavill, Henry Golding, Cary Elwes)

I knew you’d stick around to the bitter end! 

Since we’re still hanging out, I wanted to list movies that are ALMOST comedies or featured comedians or have comedic elements or were released in 2023 and I missed them. They’re close to qualifying for the list but including them would be doing them a disservice

So, here’s that.

Spaceman (starring Adam Sandler, Carey Mulligan, Paul Dano)

The Beast (starring Léa Seydoux, George Mackay, Guslagie Malanda)

How To Have Sex (Daisy Jelley, Mia McKenna-Bruce, Samuel Bottomley)

Fremont (starring Anaita Wali Zada, Gregg Turkington, Jeremy Allen White)

The Room Next Door (starring Tilda Swinton, Julianne Moore, John Turturro)

The Unknown Country (starring Lily Gladstone, Raymond Lee, Richard Ray Whitman)

Love Again (starring Priyanka Chopra, Nick Jonas, Celine Dion)

The Legend of Catclaws Mountain (starring Hayden Hishaw,Robert Davi, and Dee Wallace

Wildcat (starring Maya Hawke, Liam Neeson, Laura Linney)

Susie Searches (Kiersey Clemons, Rachel Sennott, Ken Marino)

Love Lies Bleeding (starring Kristen Stewart, Katy O’Brian, Ed Harris)

I Saw The TV Glow (starring Justice Smith, Brigette Lundy-Paine, Fred Durst)

Inside the Yellow Cocoon Shell (Thailand)

Tell That To The Winter Sea (starring Amber Anderson, Greta Bellamacina, Jessica Plummer)

Sing Sing (starring Colman Domingo, Clarence Maclin, Paul Raci)

Fair Play (starring Alden Ehrenreich, Phoebe Dynevor, Eddie Marsan)

Last Summer (France)

Grand Tour (Portugal)

Wicked (starring Ariana Grande, Cynthia Erivo, Bowen Yang)

Challengers (starring Zendaya, Mike Faist, Josh O’Connor)

OK, now we’re really done. I think?

Middle Seat: A Longish Short Story

Hey. It’s been a while since I dropped into your inbox.

How are things? Do you have 200 things to read but decided to go with this because it’s kind of like comfort food?

If so, happy you’re here. Been too long. We don’t hang out anymore. That’s my bad. Seriously, I know you’ve got a lot on your plate but my B. For real.

Anyway………..

Wanted to keep you posted on what I’ve been up to — narcissist alert lmao heh heh — and share a short story based on a flight I took a couple weeks ago on American Airlines.

Before that though, the comedy updates.

1.) I put two Instagram Reel sketches on…Instagram Reels recently. That’s where they go, I think. The first is a video of me reviewing the five worst things I ate last year and number two is a parody song called “My Phlegmy Valentine.” Bonus points if you get the joke!!!

2.) Last year, I wrote and co-directed (with Aaron Bryan) a lil movie called We Regret To Inform You starring Anna Paone (m’wife), CW Headley (m’friend) and Michael Margetis (m’favorite improviser). I think it’s very funny and you should hopefully hear more about it soonish.

3.) I’ve been doing a dumb bit on Twitter (or X, blech) where I start a tweet every single day with “Today’s the Super Bowl of” and then write a “joke” about what' the big news story of the day is. I’d say the best one was last year when I wrote on this on 4/20:

Heh

Not bad.

So, yeah, it’s been going for over a year (to diminishing returns) and is a novel writing challenge (for me at least). If this interests you in the slightest, you can see all my “bits” here.

There’s probably more that I know I’ll think of once I hit publish but I can always write another one of these things. So there’s that.

OK, now for the main attraction.

Drumroll…

Here’s that short story I teased up top. It’s called Middle Seat. There are seven footnotes! I believe that’s a Guinness World Record. Sorry, David Foster Wallace. You’ve been bested.

Enjoy.

Middle Seat

“Oh, no.”

Matt hovered over every single aisle on American Airlines’ seating chart for their March 16 flight from JFK to PHX. After triple checking, it looked like there were no ABC or DEF rows together.

This was a problem because Matt was traveling with his wife and infant daughter. They all needed to sit together for the five-hour trip1. 

So, he did what anyone would do in this situation. Matt booked seats for his wife and daughter next to each other and one for himself in the row ahead of them. In his mind, that was pretty good. A win, even.

“You did what?” Anna, his wife, cried. 

Matt explained that she’d be sitting with their one-year-old and he’d try to switch with someone when they were onboard there so he could sit next to her. It all made perfect sense in his head.

“That doesn’t make sense,” Anna said.

A long sigh.

“Why not,” Matt asked, trying to keep his cool. He’d already spent 15 minutes on this. That was a long time for him.

“No one in their right mind wants to trade an aisle for a middle.”

She had a point. Middles are the cheese2 of the sky.

“Get an aisle or window seat as trade bait.”

Hot dog! That was a stellar idea. Now they were cooking. 

Honestly, at this point, Matt was just glad they were ignoring the fact that they were in this mess because he booked the trip last minute. 

This is just what happens when you wait to do things. You get stuck with a problem you didn’t even know existed. 

Anyway, he booked the aisle seat — not the middle — ahead of them. That way, this stranger they’d be bartering with would have virtually the same seat. Genius.

Then, they waited five weeks before the flight. 

The prospect of not sitting together for the cross country trip lingered in Matt’s fragile, fearful mind.

Maybe they should cancel, push back the vacation and find another airline?

At night, Matt googled “is there an app where you can bump someone from their seat for a fee?” There wasn’t3.

Matt Googled what other people do in this scenario. Some (the famed parenting newsletter ScaryMommy) say to politely ask a gate agent for help; others (a guy on Reddit) suggest flying JetBlue where they try to seat parents with their kids as best they can.

Finally, after worrying way too much about something pretty small4, Matt decided to role play the scenario with Anna.

“OK, I’ll be you and you’ll be the person coming to our aisle,” Matt explained.

His tired wife gave him a thumbs up.

“You’re gonna have to get up and walk over to the row.”

She shook her head no. This was a ridiculous ask.

“Fine. Pretend to approach the aisle.” 

Anna put on an indiscernible accent. “What’s going on here?”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Matt said in a cracking high-pitched voice. “My baby just pooped everywhere. Do you mind if my husband sits here and helps me clean? You can have his window seat over there.” 

Anna stopped him.

“That’s not what I sound like.”

She wasn’t wrong; the impression was pretty far off. 

The poop concept was strong, though. No one wants to sit next to poop. A middle seat is always preferable to close poop proximity. Vomit could work as a backup plan, too. 

If the bodily function excuse didn’t come through, Matt and Anna agreed they could offer to give the unlucky person near us 100 bucks. In cash. Maybe they’d just feel sorry for them at that point and say “No, it’s fine.”

Eventually, they landed on the best solution of all. Breastfeeding. Of course! If a stranger doesn’t let a family sit together in that situation, Anna could start crying or insist that Matt needs to help. And if that failed, they’d have 100 bucks handy.

NOTE: At this point in the story, it should be said that the author had another semi-humorous idea that would go here. He thought of it in the middle of the night and never wrote it down. So just imagine a really good joke here.

FOLLOW UP: The author remembered what he wanted to write. It was “Kid Is a mutant that can climb.” That doesn’t make sense and he’s glad it didn’t officially make the story.

March 16 rolled around.

Everyone woke up on time, the Uber driver arrived promptly and the family was at JFK with 90 minutes to spare.

Sure, there were a few hiccups. First, Matt didn’t know which side was “handle up” when weighing his checked bag; then, a gate agent told them they didn’t have to worry about printing boarding passes which meant they had to do a lot of phone scanning and finally, the person at TSA felt like lecturing them that morning.

Technically, they were at the airport employees’ place of work. It’s pretty easy to get annoyed when people come to your space and don’t do things just how you like them. 

Matt wasn’t thinking about all that when the family sauntered up to the gate from the moving walkway5. He had one job. Matt had to ask if they could pre-board. 

“We’ll bump you up to group five,” the harried American Airlines desk jockey smiled.

Didn’t sound bad. Matt went back to report to Anna. 

She said she could do better and handed the baby over. 

Two minutes later, Anna returned. “We’re pre-boarding,” she reported.

“How’d you do that,” Matt said while picking up the bags to haul onboard.

“Just tell them you have a car seat,” she explained while strapping baby Zelda into her carrier.

To the back of the plane they went to their mess of seats. Once they arrived, Anna set up the car seat at the window — facing forward as every flight attendant reminded them.

Matt bounced baby Zelda on his lap while Anna futzed with the buckle. Then, it was the waiting game. Each person that boarded could be the one that booked the aisle seat they needed.

Matt had a speech at the ready that had the word “poop” in it three times.

Finally, it happened. A middle-aged lady approached. She was the one. They prepared for this moment for weeks.

“You have a baby? I’ll move,” she said.

All that for nothing. You just read so much for the biggest anti-climax ever. Sorry.

Anna pointed to Matt’s aisle seat where she’d be sitting and the kind lady settled in.

Somehow, Zelda fell asleep. To pass the time, Anna queued up My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3; Matt selected Ferrari6. They’d be watching on their phones since American Airlines was too cheap to have those little TVs on the back of the seats.

Just as the plane was about to take off, an overly tan 50-something woman rushed to the back with her five-year-old daughter and curly haired, crying infant.

“I need someone to move now” she announced with the authority of a government official.

Apparently, she booked two middle seats in consecutive rows. 

Clearly, she didn’t role play this situation ahead of time. She was raw dogging the moment.

Matt and Anna watched their nightmare play itself out.

No one budged. Switching to a middle for a cross-country flight is beyond charity; it’s an act of sainthood. 

“Let’s move people, chop chop,” she — let’s call her Carolina — barked. 

A man got up. He sighed and made sure to make the move as begrudging as possible. Good for him.

“Gee thanks, took you long enough,” she said a little louder than one might expect for an act of gratitude. There was even a hint of sarcasm.

Once she settled in, Carolina needed her overhead bags stowed. The only problem was there was no room at this point. All the spaces were taken7.

“Then let’s make room, chop chop!” Carolina demanded. She really was going hard with the chop chops.

Flight attendants sighed under their masks as they rearranged the tightly packed spaces designed to fit as few compact suitcases as possible.

Finally, Carolina’s bags were in their right place.

Of course, her baby began to wail. Of course.

Zelda watched curiously.

“Baby,” Zelda said.

The plane took off and the crying didn’t get much better until Carolina set the little one down.

Yes, she was going to let a toddler walk up and down the aisles for the duration of the flight- even during turbulence. This was nuts.

Matt looked back to see what Carolina was doing while her baby — who had likely learned to walk in the past three months — wandered freely.

Carolina had one headphone in. Her five-year-old had the other. They were watching Barbie together. This would be a sweet moment if she was traveling with just one daughter. 

Meanwhile, the infant she wasn’t watching was going up and down the aisle giggling and tripping, giggling and tripping.

At noon, they landed. Nothing bad happened. It was mostly just annoying.

As Matt and Anna stood up when the “everybody rush to grab your stuff” light went on, Carolina tapped Matt’s shoulder.

“Your daughter is beautiful,” she offered.

“Thank you so much,” Matt said. He went down to pick up blueberries Zelda had dropped under the seat mid-flight.

“You don’t think you could…” she trailed off.

Matt looked at her with an eyebrow. Carolina was going to have to spit this one out herself. 

“Carry my bags off the plane?”

Matt mulled it over.

“My daughter just pooped and my wife has poop on her hands. I’d love to help but, you know. Poop.” 

Caroline nodded. Matt was stoked, though.

He finally got to use his speech.

1 It’s not a good look to be the dad watching The Truman Show while your wife struggles. Hence, the need to solve this problem.

2 The author doesn’t like cheese. Some people might think highly of cheese. Interpret this however you like.

3 This might be a good invention. Sharks, if you’re reading this, I’ll give you a 10% stake for an aisle seat in return.

4 And not taking the advice of the websites he just perused.

5 They’re officially called “Trav-O-Lator machines” in case you were wondering.

6 The author knows that this dates the story but it’s a good time capsule and decided to keep this detail in.

7  The pilot had pointed out that it was a full flight. Still, no one was leaving room for two stragglers that boarded at the last minute. That’s just not how it works.

Comedy Movies Stray Notes Jan. 1, 2024

Goodbye, 2023.

Gotta hand it to you, you were a good year for laughs at the cineplex (and Roku Cities).

Case in point: it’s very possible that five of the ten Best Picture nominees in 2024 have comedic elements. Respected auteurs dropped funny, stylish, daring films. R-rated raunchfests made a comeback. Hell, many franchises (probably too many) got sequels and/or reboots.

Plus, the world was gifted Beau Is Afraid. I love that movie.

Overall, there were 196 (!) feature films with “comedy” listed as one of their genres that had some form of theatrical, streaming or online release in the US or internationally over the past 12 months (based on my findings).

In 2022, I counted only 124 feature-length funny flicks.

To be fair, I was way more diligent with my research this time around knowing I’d be making a list and found so, so, so many DIY, micro-budget indies — in fact, some were made years and years ago but didn’t see the light of day until 2023 — that I didn’t even think to track down last January.

What were the takeaways from my research?

Well, to state the obvious, Barbie certainly proved that a capital C, laugh out loud, funny comedy with heart and a message can still drive audiences to theaters in droves. Sure, it doesn’t hurt that Greta Gerwig’s sharp satire’s boffo box office bona fides was packaged as a theatergoing cultural event alongside Oppenheimer. Yet, as a film, GreGer (what I call Greta Gerwig) created something truly special. I’d call this the rare four-quadrant crowd pleaser/accessible for all ages/critical darling/smash hit home run picture. Movies like this are few and far between in a post-streaming world so we need to savor them when we can.

(Full disclosure: I watched Barbie on a plane, heh heh).

Another major lesson I gathered from 2023 was that the trend where comedies are Trojan-horsed into theaters as hybrid films, marched on. I’m talking about your Christmas coms (seven), horror coms (there were 11 by my estimation) and rom coms (a whopping 18), among many, many other crowded subgenres. In fact, my list is made up of 40 different categories.

The way I see it, people want to laugh but crave traditional storytelling, too.

As for box office receipts, while Barbie was an indisputable runaway success story (as were pseudo comedy hybrids like Super Mario Bros., Spider-Man Across The Spiderverse and Guardians of the Galaxy), comedies aren’t really a sure thing financially. They haven’t been for years. Truth be told, no movie is. From my perspective, the best way to look at comedy filmmaking (and all creative pursuits) is this — it’s nice that people are still putting their hearts and souls into making new works. Even if there’s no promise of monetary gain, folks are plugging away for the love of the game. And I respect that.

So, with all that being said, I’d like to pay my respect to all the writers, directors, actors, editors and crew members — yes, even the team behind PAW Patrol: The Mighty Movie.

What you’ll find below is all 196 comedy movies released in 2023 separated into subcategories so you can pick and choose the genres within the genre you like.

I hope you discover something you love, fellow comedy film nerds. 

I know I did.

Note: my favorite movie of the year, the endlessly inventive 40-minute The Wonderful Life of Henry Sugar directed by Wes Anderson isn’t on the list because it wasn’t a feature.

Note pt. 2: Quite a few of these films could (and should) be featured under a handful of subcategories listed below. To keep things simple, I made sure not to double up on movies’ labels (for example, Murder Mystery 2 is a sequel AND a whodunnit but only listed as a sequel) so this list didn’t get too messy.

Note pt. 3: I haven’t seen all these movies (yet). If they’ve been miscategorized, please feel free to let me know. 

Also, if I missed a flick, fill me in. I’m always on the lookout for more stuff.

Likely Oscar contenders

Barbie

May December

The Holdovers

American Fiction

Poor Things

Prestige-y, artsy “indie” comedy

Blackberry

Asteroid City

Dad and Step Dad

The Adults

They Cloned Tyrone

Rye Lane

The rise of smart Gen Z comedy

Theater Camp

Please Don’t Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain

Bottoms

Joy Ride

The Sweet East

Ambitious A24 comedies

Dicks: The Musical

You Hurt My Feelings

Beau Is Afraid

Dream Scenario

When You Finish Saving The World

Showing Up

R-rated raunchy comedy

No Hard Feelings

Cocaine Bear

Dumb Money

Strays

Anyone But You

Mafia Mamma

Back On The Strip

The Re-education of Molly Singer

Totally cool animated superhero pictures with laughs

Spider Man: Across The Universe

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

Nimona

Under the radar bangers that don’t really fit in anywhere else

I Like Movies

Sick Girl

Polite Society

Go West

The Persian Version

What Doesn’t Float

Big-time stand ups taking a stab at writing and directing

Somewhere In Queens (dir. Ray Romano)

Old Dads (dir. Bill Burr)

About My Father (dir. Sebastian Maniscalco)

The Machine (dir. Bert Kreischer)

Road Dog (dir. Doug Stanhope)

Sitcom and film stars taking a stab at writing and directing

Fool’s Paradise (dir. Charlie Day)

Shortcomings (dir. Randall Park)

Good Grief (dir. Dan Levy)

What Happens Later (dir. Meg Ryan)

Action comedy with unlikely heroes

Dungeons and Dragons

Wingwomen

The Retirement Plan

Head to Head

Sports comedy

Air

Next Goal Wins

Champions

Chang Can Dunk

The last gasp of funny superhero movies (maybe)

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

Shazam Fury of the Gods

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania

Mid comedies that landed on streamers but likely would have done decent business theatrically 10 years ago

The Beanie Bubble

Shotgun Wedding

Flamin’ Hot

Genie

Maggie Moore(s)

Miguel Wants To Fight

Quasi

You People

Quiz Lady

The Out-Laws

Ghosted

The Drop

Corner Office

Freelance

Smart, solid flicks for tweens that have long titles

Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret

You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah

Landscape with Invisible Hand

Documentaries about famous comics

Defending My Life

Headliners Only

Jackie Martling: Joke Man

Clever, inventive documentaries

Pinball: The Man Who Saved The Game

My Friend Tommy

Gentle on scares horror comedy

The Blackening

MEGAN

Totally Killer

Bad CGI Gator

The Kill Room

Don’t Suck

It’s A Wonderful Knife

We Have A Ghost

Renfield

Helen’s Dead

Project Z

Rom coms

Your Place Or Mine

Somebody I Used To Know

Fallen Leaves

Red White And Royal Blue

Beautiful Disaster

The List

Choose Love

Hashtag Proposal

Love Virtually

Chick Flick

Prom Pact

Puppy Love

The Other Zoey

Asian Persuasion

The Marry Me Pact

Match Me If You Can

Maybe I Do

Zoe’s Having A Baby

Queasy thrillers with comedic elements

Saltburn

Cat Person

Give Me Pity

Rotting In The Sun

Down Low

Sci-Fi yuks

Share?

Biosphere

Relax, I’m From The Future

The Pod Generation

Jules

Robots

Wacked out, balls to the wall crazy comedy

Adventures of the Naked Umbrella

Showdown at the Grand

Sequels and reboots

Chicken Run 2

Murder Mystery 2

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3

Scream VI

Wonka

Mr. Monk’s Last Case

House Party

Good Burger 2

Book Club: The Next Chapter

Vacation Friends 2

White Men Can’t Jump

Haunted Mansion

Buddy Games: Spring Awakening

For the kiddies

The Super Mario Bros Movie

Elemental

Leo

Under The Boardwalk

Trolls

Diary of a Wimpy Kid Christmas: Cabin Fever

Paw Patrol: Unleash The Powers

Feel good Christmas pictures

Candy Cane Lane

How The Gringo Stole Christmas

Merry Little Batman

The Naughty Nine

Christmas with Jerks

Best Christmas Ever

Merry Good Enough

Underseen ensemble pictures featuring familiar character actors

Maximum Truth (featuring Ike Barinhotlz, Mark Proksch, Kiernan Shipka, Dylan O’Brien)

She Came To Me (featuring Peter Dinklage, Anne Hathaway, Nicole Kidman, Marisa Tomei)

The Donor Party (featuring Malin Akerman, Erinn Hayes, Rob Corddry, Jerry O’Connell)

Linoleum (featuring Jim Gaffigan, Rhea Seehorn, Tony Shalhoub, Michael Ian Black) 

Fourth Grade (featuring Mena Suvari, William Baldwin, Teri Polo)

The Plus One (featuring Ashanti, Cedric The Entertainer)

Dramedies that are pretty close to dramas but their synopses say otherwise 

Wildflower

Relative

Sitting In Bars With Cake

Flora and Son

Stylish, smart quirkfests

Amanda

The Year Between

Little Jar

Throwback to a different time period pix

Stony Island

Millennium Bugs

Family comedies with the world “Family” in the title

The Family Plan

The Family Switch

For the older crowd

iMordecai

My Happy Ending

80 For Brady

Moving On

Two Tickets to Greece 

Daughter of the Bride

Pandemic period pieces

Who Invited Charlie

Life Upside Down

Intimate character study

Paint

Better Days

Based on a true story

Bank Of Dave

Radical

Adopting a baby story

Unexpected 

Boisterous whodunnits

The Sixth Reel

Hayseed

Movies about stand-up

That’s Funny

Camp comedy that takes place at camp

Camp Hideout

Shaggy dog comedies

Dogleg

Vegan propaganda disguised as a comedy film

Coffee Wars

Time travel

One More Time

Still here? I knew it. I always stay for the end of the credits, too.

Anyway, If you’ve stuck around this long, I wanted to let you know that the best part of this list is that each and every one of these movies has a trailer available to watch on YouTube. 

If you’re curious about any of these flicks, you can get a taste right now. 

OK, that’s everything. Keep it real, cinephiles.

Film Festival Stray Notes Aug. 18, 2023

After “completing” my short film (is any movie ever REALLY finished?), I entered it into 11 festivals.

First, the big ones. Sundance, TIFF, Cannes, because why not? A boy’s gotta dream!

Then, the more realistic, local showcases for aspiring amateurs. Basically, anything with New York/New Jersey/Long Island in its name so I wouldn’t have to rent a car or book a flight. A boy’s gotta budget!

After sending my $40 (often with “insurance” in case the festival was “cancelled”) and a Vimeo link to these tastemakers, I waited. The notification dates were often months away.

Most of the time, I forgot my movie even existed.

Then, the first rejection came and I very quickly became self-righteous about the film I had barely remembered just days before .

Immediately, I DM’d the festival curator via Instagram since they’re sort of a mini-celebrity in the short film community and I wanted to start a polite dialogue and show I’m a cool dude. 

Here’s what I wrote:

“Hey! Saw my short wasn’t selected for ______. No hard feelings but would you mind sharing some notes? I worked for two years on the movie and would love some feedback from pros I admire.”

They didn’t write back.

However, the message was marked as “read.”

Something must have been wrong. I sent a follow-up clarifying which short was mine.

No response.

This was more than a bit upsetting. I dropped $35 to apply (a steal of a price for the film fest racket) and their team doesn’t even have the decency to tell me why I was rejected? My blood was boiling.

Another rejection came in a few days later. 

Now I’m 0 for 2 batting .000.

Maybe my film was no good? If so, this was a harsher truth than radio silence. 

Do I suck? I must suck.

I sent a message to their team asking for notes.

These folks replied and wrote back:

“Hi Matt. We score on a scale of 1-5, it scored a 3.75. The selected films all scored 4 and up. Some of the comments are that it played a little long for a couple of the screeners’ taste, (though) they liked the actors. Hope that helps. I'm sure it will find many festival homes.”

OK! Now we’re getting somewhere.

Soon after, I fired up Adobe Premiere and began editing a project labeled “Final Final.”

This person was right. Fat could be trimmed.  My movie slimmed down from loose 19 to a tight 15 minutes.

Three months later, my first film fest acceptance popped in my inbox. 

Wow. Validation. My first thought was “is this one of the legit fests?”

THE MEET AND GREET

On Thursday, Aug. 3, Anna and I attended the Chain Film Festival’s meet and greet.

It was packed. Wall to wall filmmakers with badges hobnobbing. This was what I moved to New York for. Not only did I want to be among filmmakers, I wanted to belong with them and, for one night, I did.

There was only one problem. The room was so loud, it was nearly impossible to network. Groups had already formed and I didn’t want to muscle my way into a conversation.

Anna and I stood on the outskirts, observing.

At moments like this, I wish I was better at rubbing shoulders and jumping into groups but the last thing anybody wants to hear while chatting is “what are you guys talking about?”

So, rather than putting myself out there and risking being annoying, Anna and I made small talk with a few other outsiders who were also too timid to jump into a group. These people were nice but I felt I didn’t really connect with any strangers there.

Walking home, back to our baby with her sitter, I felt like a failure.

“You got into the festival,” Anna said.

That’s true.

That’s really true.

Time to get over myself. 

This was what I wanted and I needed to stop moping and enjoy the moment.

THE SCREENING

The following Thursday, I headed back to midtown for the screening of my short in the Chain Film Festival’s fantasy block.

For a minute, it seemed like only my lead actor (the incomparable Manny Simmons) and I would be the only people watching the movie on the big screen.

Makes sense. It was rainy as hell that day. I almost didn’t want to go.

Thankfully, more folks showed up at the last second. My pals Blair Johnson and Belton Delaine-Facey popped in. Dianna Fuller, a fantastic actress who played the mom in my short, dropped in with her cousin right at 7.

Lights dimmed.

Finally, time to see the flick on the big screen. Cinema!

Well, after awhile.

There were six shorts in my block and mine was last.

When it finally came on, I felt a sense of relief. I’d been holding in pee for so long. Couldn’t wait to go.

As for the movie, it was fascinating to see with an audience. While it was an incredibly special experience, all I could see were the mistakes I made. Coverage I didn’t get, cringeworthy editing decisions, unnecessary sound cues.

Anything that didn’t feel real, fell very, very flat by my estimation.

Subtlety isn’t something a lot of short films traffic in and I’m certainly guilty of in-your-face choices.

Simplicity and quiet should be rewarded. This is really hard to understand if you haven’t seen your motion picture in a theater with a crowd.

Now that I’m on my soapbox, I’m gonna keep ranting. Here’s an important note for all short filmmakers:

Keep your credits tight. All the shorts screen back to back and no one wants to sit through a minute of names.

I learned this the hard way. 

Basically, watch your movie on a big screen before seeing it with an audience.  You’ll catch so many small things you’d never have noticed on a laptop.

/end rant

After the screenings, a moderator called the directors onstage for a talkback. 

“Was this your first movie,” he asked when he got to me.

“No,” I said, “although it may have looked like it.”

Big laugh.

Maybe too big.

AFTERMATH

At home, I stayed up all night playing the movie over and over in my head.

I couldn’t wait until the weekend when I could chop the movie up. There are still four festivals I’m waiting to hear back from (Sundance, if you’re reading this, I’m talking about you) and I want to send them the best possible product.

Dropped three more minutes from the movie. The short is even shorter, now just a tick over 12 minutes. Everything that wasn’t essential to the story is gone.

What happens next?

Well, hopefully, I get into a few more fests and don’t send any more embarrassing DMs.

Truth be told, I’m still not above it. It could def happen

PS: I’m already working on my next short. If you want to be a part of it in any capacity — you could join the crew, read the screenplay or we could just chat about movies — hit me up.

Movies!

Return of the Matt

• Hey, long time, no newsletter.

That’s on me. Being a dad (hey, it’s Father’s Day, what a coincidence) is a time-consuming, exhilarating, rewarding full-time gig that I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. Today, my daughter drank a smoothie for the first time. Didn’t know that would be such an exciting milestone that I’d be telling the world about but dadhood has changed me.

As a result, spending my free time writing about what movies and TV shows I’d seen over the previous week when I could be spending time with family felt selfish and honestly, downright silly.

So, I put it off.

But now I’m back for a tiny bit of self-promotion.

Couldn’t help myself  — I’m a recovering narcissist.

Plus, this 30-second teaser trailer for my short film “Dungeons” starring Manny Simmons and Mecca McDonald is too dang good not to share with you in the off-chance you missed it.

Enjoy.

Pretty great, right?

And that button at the end? Priceless, am I right? Well, guess what? It was totally improvised.

These actors rule and I can’t wait to share the whole movie with you all someday soon.

That’s all for me.

I’m going to drink the rest of the smoothie that my daughter didn’t finish

An archived story from a year ago- March 6, 2022

• A little over a year ago (late February 2022), I tested positive for COVID.

It didn’t feel right at the time to share my story since it was such a wild and scary experience so I’ve been sitting on this emergency room yarn for a year just so I wouldn’t worry friends and family.

Anyhow, now that 13 months have passed, it feels right to finally tell you all what happened on February 28 through March 1 of last year.

Note: This was written on March 6, 2022.

• I tested positive for COVID this week.

For a bit of context, New York City had just lifted the mask mandates and every news publication couldn’t stop writing about how cases were going down.

A good lesson should be learned here — maybe don’t trust mass media.

Still, I’m not here to complain; I’m the one at fault here. 

All that being said, I’d like to share my experience for folks who are yet to get down with the sickness.

On Monday morning (Feb. 28, 2022), we took at-home tests. After having taken dozens of tests, it came back positive for the first time ever.

I thought it was a mistake.

We walked to City MD and they confirmed those tests were correct. The COVID was coming from inside the body and there was nothing I could do about it.

This was especially upsetting to us because we’d be so meticulous over the past two years. I’d often been the annoying “only-masker” at social gatherings and scoffed when others didn’t wear masks.

Well, I’ve completely lost that privilege.

Immediately after receiving the positive diagnosis, I wanted to play detective and find out, “Where did I get this from?”

I contacted everyone I’d been in touch with that week to see if they a) were OK and b) make sure they’d get tested if they hadn’t been recently.

No one else tested positive to the best of my knowledge. The mystery lives on (Note: And still does to this day).

Anna and I made plans to self-quarantine at home, catch up on movies and make the best out of a crummy situation. That is, until things got quite a bit more dramatic out of nowhere.

Around 2 a.m. on Monday night, I woke up after having been asleep for a few hours to go to the bathroom. This is a fairly common occurrence for me.

Anyhow, this time around, my legs felt like jelly as soon as I stood. Woozily, I walked to the bathroom and had the fleeting thought, “I should sit down.”

Next thing I know, I’m on the bathroom floor face first.

I have no recollection of falling and hitting the sink or toilet seat — it just happened.

This wasn’t my first time passing out either. In fact, it’s my fourth in the past six years.

When I fainted this time, I crashed so hard into my bathroom stand that I woke up Anna who was fast asleep. She raced to my aid and helped get me gather my senses.

Allegedly, I stood on my own and walked back to the bedroom without ever having even gone to the bathroom which was the whole point of the walk.

Then, I fell a second time.

Anna was freaking out. She didn’t want me to go back to bed because terrible things can happen to people if they do after hitting their head.

Since I’d fallen so many times before, I assured her I was fine and called it a night.

Not my wisest moment.

The next day, I went to work (again, not my wisest moment) and when my WFH shift ended, we walked to City MD for the second consecutive day.

This time around, the doctor advised me to go to the E.R. immediately or else I could potentially have a “Natasha Richardson situation” where a slow bleed could potentially kill me in five days.

City MD really needs to work on their bedside manner.

Soon after, we’re at the Mount Sinai Astoria Emergency Room. Many doctors scolded me for not coming in earlier like Anna advised. Lesson learned.

I’m feeling fine this entire time but I’m waiting on pins and needles to hear back from the doctors to hear the results of my CT scan because head trauma victims often feel fine and don’t experience any pain.

At 2 a.m. (24 hours after the initial fall), our doctor comes in and says, “You’re fine.” 

It was a rush. Made me forget I had COVID and a concussion for a second.

After that, the rest of the week was much more low-key. Symptoms like taste, smell, chest pains, came and went. Honestly, the most upsetting experience was doing a basic High Intensity Interval Training workout and it was much harder on my lungs and stamina than ever before. 

Hopefully, that doesn’t last (Note: It kinda does).

I’m certainly thankful I had Anna by my side for the whole experience (Note: I still am).

COVID, I give you 0/5 stars, would not recommend (Note: I stand by this).

Postscript: In the year since, I’ve come to realize that the fall was probably likely due to dehydration in addition to the illness. 

What’s the point of all this?

Just a friendly reminder to stay safe and hydrated.

Plus, it’s too wild a story just to let sit in my Google Docs forever.

That being said, this anecdote did bomb horrifically when I shared it at a storytelling open mic last year so there is that.

OK, that’s all.

iMordecai is the movie of the year about the extremely offline

No one wants to age. In a perfect world, we’d all be 22 forever. 

Sadly, we don’t live in a perfect world.

However, if you’re looking for a template on how to gracefully wade into your octogenarian years, look no further than Judd Hirsch’s portrayal of Mordecai in Marvin Samel’s delightful debut feature film, iMordecai.

The 100-minute slice-of-life light comedy tells the story of immigrant Holocaust survivor, painter/plumber, investor, husband, father and new iPhone user Mordecai. He lives in Florida with his declining wife, Fela (Carol Kane, reuniting with her Taxi co-star) close to their businessman son, Marvin (Sean Astin), his wife (Stephanie J. Block) and their twin children while navigating 2020s America. 

As Mordecai struggles to get used to modern tech - he pecks away at a smartphone without much luck until he’s helped by tech gurus - we learn that he has as much to teach the younger generation as they do for him. 

Samel, a first-time director, based the characters on his own family, and his loving portrayal of their wisdom and foibles demonstrates an even-handed interpretation of the real Mr. and Mrs. Samel. Are they the root of intergenerational trauma? Yes. Are they also the source of his privilege? Absolutely.

Since Samel attempts to cram every story in from his life using Hirsch, Kane and Astin as surrogates, the film can seem overstuffed at times. Plot lines centering around business deals gone wrong, dementia, art exhibits, a failed comedy show and a misunderstanding about Nazi lineage give the movie a herky-jerky pace but as it progressed, its rich tapestry began to make sense- the film is merely trying to demonstrate the messiness of life. Many things are going on in our busy days, the same is true of iMordecai.

Think of it this way- the movie is like a call with your grandfather. A lot is said and by the end you’re smiling.

Final verdict: Hirsch and Kane disappear into their roles as Eastern European immigrants; Sean Astin does career-best work as put-upon son and iMordecai finds the balance between light and dark. 

If this is what getting old is like, sign me up.

Comedy Stray Notes January 1, 2023

• Other than the ball dropping at midnight, my favorite part of any year coming to a close are all the year-end lists. Best music. Best TV. Best moments. Most importantly though (at least for me), best movies.

I love seeing what pops up on critics’ lists and friends’ lists and where the two overlap. Pretty much everyone agreed on Everything Everywhere All At Once (who can dislike that instant classic?) and Barbarian but many were divided on biggies like Top Gun: Maverick and Elvis. 

However, what I find most interesting is the oddities that appear on folks’ lists — that’s where they get their personality. It’s almost like a flex. “Oh, you loved George Clooney and Julia Roberts in Ticket To Paradise?” Suddenly, your list got interesting. I’m interested in what you have to say. Clearly, you didn’t copy-paste critics’ lists and sought out flicks that matched your taste rather than what everyone everywhere all at once claimed was great (heh heh, that’s a lil joke).

All that being said, I’d like to present my top 11 movies of the year (this may change quite a bit in a few months since there’s still so much to see):

11.) Bob’s Burgers: The Movie dir. Loren Bouchard, Bernard Derriman

10.) I Love My Dad dir. James Morosini

9.) Vengeance dir. BJ Novak

8.) The Lost City dir. Aaron and Adam Nee

7.) Glass Onion dir. Rian Johnson

6.) Spirited dir. Sean Anders 

5.) Funny Pages dir. Owen Kline

4.) Everything Everywhere All At Once dir. The Daniels (putting it here to be interesting)

3.) Chip N Dale: Rescue Rangers dir. Akiva Schaeffer

2.) Barbarian dir. Zach Cregger

1.) Marcel the Shell with Shoes On dir. Dean Fleischer Camp

As you may have noticed, all of these movies are comedies or comedy-adjacent.

In a time where the future of film appears to be bleak (heck, with the advent of ChatGPT, writing appears to be on the way out too; just today, Anna Paone told me there was AI to help with resumes too), and comedies have long since been considered almost guaranteed box office , quite a few films that can be classified as comedies were miraculously released in 2022.

And me, being the nerd I am, I compiled a big ol’ list of all the comedy films that hit theaters and streamers over the past year categorized by sub-genres to show a) the genre is alive and well (for now) and b) everything you may have missed and may want to check out (it’s also very possible you saw all of this on Twitter. If you did, it’s the same stuff!).

Enjoy!

Buzzy indie

Funny Pages

I Love My Dad

Cha Cha Real Smooth

Sharp Stick

Not Okay

On The Count of Three

Windfall

Emergency

Absurd and artsy with long titles  

Everything Everywhere All At Once 

Triangle of Sadness 

Marcel The Shell with Shoes on 

Three Thousand Years of Longing 

Bardo, False Chronicle of a Handful of Truths 

The Sky Is Everywhere

Self-Aware Reboots

Confess, Fletch

Chip N Dale: Rescue Rangers

Father of the Bride

The Munsters

Scream

Cheaper By The Dozen

Showbiz parodies

The Bubble

Weird: The Al Yankovic Story

Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent

The Valet

Smart high school comedies

Senior Year

Honor Society

Do Revenge

Hello, Goodbye, And Everything In Between

Moonshot

Better Nate Than Ever

Darby and the Dead

Metal Lords

Crush

Sneakerella

Anything’s Possible

Rosaline

Murder mystery satires

Glass Onion

Vengeance

The Menu

See How They Run

Chilling yet funny horror films

Nope

Barbarian

Bodies Bodies Bodies

Fresh

The Curse of Bridge Hollow (this isn't chilling but I threw it in as a courtesy)

Romcoms

Bros

Marry Me

Ticket To Paradise

The Lost City

Meet Cute

I Want You Back

Spin Me Round

Fire Island

The People We Hate At The Wedding

Spoiler Alert

7 Days

Adult animated show jumps to features

Bob’s Burger Movie

Beavis and Butthead

South Park The Streaming Wars

South Park The Streaming Wars 2

Inspirational sports dramedies

Hustle

Home Team

1Up

Celebrity vanity projects

Good Mourning

Easter Sunday

Studio 666

Comedic sci-fi

The Adam Project

Dual

Something In The Dirt

BigBug

Oscar fare with comedic elements

Armageddon Time

White Noise

Babylon

Amsterdam

(Haven't seen any of these but reviews seem to hint at these movies being funnyish- feel free to roast me for this one)

Historical nostalgia

Banshees of Inisherin

Cyrano

Mrs. Harris Goes To Paris

Sequels

Jackass Forever

Clerks III

A Madea Homecoming

Hocus Pocus 2

Disenchanted

Sonic The Hedgehog 2

Old school action comedies

Bullet Train

Day Shift

Secret Headquarters

Family Friendly animation

Lightyear

Turning Red

Strange World

Night At The Museum

Diary Of A Wimpy Kid

League Of Super Pets

Luck

Wendell and Wild

Marmaduke

Bad Guys

Minions

Puss In Boots

Paws Of Fury

Lyle Lyle Crocodile

Hotel Transylvania

Ice Age Adventure of Buck Wild

TMNT

Family friendly live action

Matilda The Musical

Catherine Called Birdy

Dog

Christmas

Spirited

A Christmas Story Christmas

Something From Tiffany's

The Noel Diary

Violent Night

Falling For Christmas

Middle of the road boomer feel good films

A Man Called Otto

Good Luck To You, Leo Grande

The Greatest Beer Run Ever

Mack and Rita

Jerry and Marge Go Large

The Good House

Sam and Kate

Didn't make much noise

The Estate

Honk For Jesus, Save Your Soul

Kevin Hart starrers

The Man From Toronto

Me Time

Religious

Family Camp

Documentary

Stutz

If you made it this far, tell me if I missed anything or what you liked this year. Or what you hated. Or what I mis-genre’d. Or if Tár is a satire. I haven’t seen it.

Also, happy new year too

Sort of Comedy Stray Notes December 7, 2022

• You ever watch a show or movie and a single image resonates with you so deeply, it plays on a loop in your mind?

For me, this happens all the time. I’ll completely forget the whole story and fixate on one moment moving the rest of whatever happened in the narrative to the back of my consciousness.

This happened most recently while watching a season six episode of “The Sopranos” (yeah, I know I should have seen it forever ago, people make mistakes). While the series is full of striking images and intoxicating snippets of dialogue (literally anytime Paulie Walnuts opens his mouth, gold comes out), I was completely taken with a pretty mundane mise en scene.

I’ll paint the picture.

Tony (aka THEE James Gandolfini if you’re new) has a rare moment alone at home and steps on a scale. He weighs 280. Doesn’t like that one bit. So, the next move is to take off the shoes. Doesn’t tip the scale. Now, Tony disrobes. Still 280.

This stuck with me for a number of reasons.

Last year, on Black Friday, after a pretty physically taxing day, I got down to a decent weight. Not a great weight (in fact, I was far from being in shape), but I felt good especially being in the middle of a pandemic, still using the gym sparingly and the fact it was the day after the annual food Super Bowl.

In the year since, I’ve really let myself go. 

Salty snacks, little desserts every night, skipping water for seltzers, huge portions and limited exercise led me to balloon up an additional 40 pounds (aka the double COVID-19) taking me to my highest weight ever aka the “fattest I’ve ever been.”

Spoiler: the number is kinda close to Tony’s when he stepped on the scale.

And let me tell you, you don’t wanna be near a notoriously large man’s weight. It feels dangerous like skating on thin ice but now you’re 40 pounds heavier and the ice is creaking.

Obviously, I rarely literally find myself on thin ice but in reality I can’t even use my step ladder since its weight limit is 225.

I gotta use that ladder for basic tasks too. Who else is gonna reach high up stuff? That’s my job as the family tall guy. 

Thing is, I don’t know if I can really get back on track. My body has gotten used to large portions. Like I need to split a bag of Trader Joe’s teriyaki chicken or my stomach goes into starvation mode. It’s weak- just like the stepladder.

That being said, I’m pretty good at two-day diets. Once I lose two pounds after two days though, I fall off the wagon. 

This has all been informally documented too. I mean check out these things I’ve tweeted recently:

“Chobani Flips taste really good except for the yogurt part”

“Help, I melted ice cream on top of my Cinnamon Toast Crunch and now I can’t go back to milk.”

I’m an eating machine in a bad way.

Not sure what I’m getting at here other than I wanted to let people know, yeah, I’m heavy at the moment. My clothes don’t fit as well (although a hoodie I’ve had since fourth grade still slides on, no prob). I’ve got a double chin in every photo and I make people retake every picture of me. One thing people should know is the fatter you get, the harder it is to hide your double chin (unless you’re having an AI picture drawn of you, of course).

Plus, to add insult to injury, doctors praise my four-month-old daughter for putting on weight. They applaud when she gains two pounds. 12-pound babies don’t know how good they have it. 

I think I found my goal for this whiny essay that you’re still reading.

Hopefully, getting this message out into the world will make other people who inexplicably put on weight over the past year (without the pandemic excuse of the gyms being closed) feel a little less alone. 

And maybe folks will send healthy lunch and dinner recommendations to mix up my schedule. 

Right now, I’m doing way too much sodium-heavy ramen and chicken dinners. It’s my ultimate weakness. I’ve deluded myself into thinking chicken and rice is healthy. Nah. Would love to hear what’s worked for others to get out of a rut other than, ya know, the oft-advertised lifestyle change of diet and exercise because I’m aware they exist and I’m trying but it’s kinda tough when you have a four-month-old and you’re cooking for ease and comfort and you can’t stop snacking on pita chips and chocolate covered almonds.

Those are all excuses but, I have to say, having grown up with s lot of weight shame, it’s liberating to be so open about this here.

That’s all about that. 

Thanks to Tony S, the waste management consultant, for bravely getting on that scale on tv. It helped me open up.

• Now, for a tiny bit of comedy-related material:

- Having become a dad recently has made it hard to do much in the way of comedy which means not only have I gotten flabby, my funny bone has too.

The only time I really have to myself to write or edit or do anything creative is if I force myself to wake up at 5 or so before my daughter. Maybe sometimes at night too but those opportunities are few and far between.

Anyway, I recently finished a few things.

- First up, a TikTok vid Anna filmed of me back in May 2021. For almost a year, I’ve had cutting it on my to-do list but never got around to it. And although there are no “cuts” in the video (it’s all one take), editing was a headache trying to figure out the joke.

The short originally started with a bit where a Southerner told me to “go back to New York” but I didn’t want to put words in Bojangles’ mouth (the video takes place at a Bojangles drive-thru). Then, I tried the lame Mike Myers “dummy says what” bit. That felt too tired. I needed something actually funny.

Finally, with the help of a few friends and voice work from the talented Daniel J. Perafan, I found a happy medium.

Hope you enjoy this 45 second thing. It still makes me laugh and I’ve seen it like 45 times.

- Secondly, I wrote my second pilot of the year. “Feedback” is a robust 39-page story about my weekly writer’s group (yes, I complained I don’t get to do enough creative stuff but I am in a weekly writer’s group. I’m a monster). Using the members of the group as inspiration, I finally wrote the “Princess Bride” style script I’ve had rattling in my brain forever.

On Sunday, I held a reading of the pilot and while there are some kinks to iron out (too long, reads like a writer wrote the words instead of people talking), it had moments! Moments! That’s all I can hope for with anything I write.

Major thanks to the cast Anna, Dan, Dan, Ahri, Jourdain, Joey and Susan for reading and Jake and Chris for showing up.

• And, finally some light recommendations:

- Make sure to check out Deanna Director’s hilarious 50-second “Nike Feels.” In this sharp, parody, runners address the camera and tell us “what they’re running from” with answers as varied as “myself” to “basic math.” Come for the jokes, stay for the impressive style- this thing looks and feels just like a Nike commercial which is no easy feat- they have the most stylish, kinetic ads in the game. Enjoy.

- Shows normally don’t get better after a pilot. While they’re a tough act to pull off (introducing characters and the world while being funny and compelling is no easy balancing act), they’re usually indicative of what’s to come.

That’s why I was so pleasantly surprised with Amy Schumer’s “Life and Beth.”

The pilot was atrocious. Not funny, tonally mixed, dour and claustrophobic.

Shut it off, vowing not to return.

However, I came back a month or so later and caught episode two. What a marked improvement. 

Glad I stayed for the rest. This show is hysterical, heartfelt and not at all like its first episode. Slog through the initial half hour for exposition and you’ll be rewarded for your hard work, my friends.

- Finally, RIP Carolines.

Louis Faranda and the club gave me my first and only real opportunity in the comedy industry and for that, I am forever grateful. That’s the one club that asked me to be a member and I was overjoyed.

That’s it for this grab bag of complaints, brags and thoughts.

As a wise man once said, keep it sleazy

Tarantino Stray Notes Nov. 22, 2022

Very rarely does something pop culture adjacent qualify as “bucket list worthy” for me. I guess my big three are:

1.) Seeing Daft Punk live (I love those robot fellas). 

2.) Getting a drink with Lorne Michaels (even if he sometimes/often gives a platform to morally questionable performers).

3.) Hearing Quentin Tarantino speak in person (even if he is a morally questionable human).

Well, on Wednesday, Nov. 16, bucket list dream number three came true for me when 59-year-old QT spoke at NYC’s Town Hall and I was there.

Like any good Tarantino movie though, let’s get a little non-linear and go back to the very beginning of this saga now (starting at the beginning barely counts as Tarantino-esque if I’m being honest with myself).

PROLOGUE

So, this mini, four-stop book tour exists purely to promote Tarantino’s new half-film criticism slash half-memoir “Cinema Speculation.”

The event was billed as “a Q&A with a top local critic” followed by a reading of a chapter by old Quentin himself.

I couldn’t miss this.

My life philosophy when it comes to going to things is always, “How would future Matt feel if he didn’t go?”

Usually, I can rationalize away the need to do stuff using this logic puzzle.

Not for this one.

As soon as the announcement dropped, I made plans right away.

However, being a new dad put a wrinkle into the mix. You can’t just leave wife and baby alone for a night. I mean, you could but you shouldn’t. 

So, I had to get crafty. 

We’d need a friend to stay by Anna’s side that Wednesday (which was a month away at this point). To solve the problem, we quickly enlisted Anna’s friend Alexis to come over Nov. 16 with the promise of a pizza dinner. It’d be less like babysitting and more like a paid hang sesh.

With that settled, I hit up my old cinema lovin’ pal Nate Borgman to see if he wanted to see the director of “Kill Bill” yammer onstage.

Dude was down.

I quickly forked over $90/ticket after fees and giddily counted down the days to see one of my all-time favorite directors speak. This was my one time out of the house and I couldn’t wait to hear him do his thing off the cuff.

In fact, I fanboy’d so hard that I prepared Q&A questions and came up with one that I thought was pretty good. It went:

“Since you’re planning on only directing ten films, what are some of the movies you ALMOST made but didn’t since they weren’t worthy of your ten?”

Yes, you’re right. I really don’t get out enough.

CHAPTER I: Nov. 16

The fateful Wednesday finally rolled around and everything went according to plan. 

During the day, I watched “Reservoir Dogs” for the first time in years and was wowed by its crackerjack dialogue, impressive plot sequencing and smart use of a warehouse as a location for the film.

That being said, the casual racism and sexism really did not age well, especially considering some of these career criminals are coded as progressive in the famous opening scene where they explain the intricacies of tipping your server.

So it goes.

In the evening, Anna’s friend Alexis came over, we pizza’d, got heartburn (well, I did. Can’t speak for everyone else) and even shared tiny Trader Joe’s ice cream cones which I don’t like to give to anyone but this was a special occasion.

At 6:45, I dutifully headed to midtown to make sure I wasn’t late to the talk. 30 minutes later, I popped off the 7 train at Bryant Park and fell prey to the consumer paradise that is one of New York’s many Christmas markets. Almost broke down and bought a $10 whoopie pie. Those whoopie pies looked so damn good and I’m not even a whoopie pie guy.

After exercising the tiniest bit of restraint (I did have heartburn after all), I aimlessly wandered around fantasizing about eating at every single food station— jerk chicken, burgers, dumplings all looked great even though I’d already had a sizable dinner— and then checked my phone. 7:30. Time to walk to Town Hall.

CHAPTER II: Town Hall

When I arrived at 43rd Street, a swarm of mid-30s bros (my people!) were gathering on the side of the street outside the theater. Turns out Tarantino himself was there. I didn’t get much of a look but I imagine people were throwing “Pulp Fiction” merch in his face to sign. You know, the poster where Uma Thurman looks into the lens and it says ten cents in the corner. It’s cool. You like it. I like it.

Anyway, waving merch in someone’s face is not my scene so I went to meet Nate who was already in line for the show. His pal, Mike from Rhode Island, joined us.

We quickly advanced to the front of the line of dudes in hats/horn-rimmed glasses/hoodies, put our phones in Yondr pouches (we honestly all need these at home so we don’t aimlessly scroll all day) and entered. A staff member handed me a hardcover copy of “Cinema Speculation.” Immediately, I thumbed through the half film criticism/half memoir looking for juicy tidbits.

The three of us walked to our high up balcony seats with limited leg room and chatted. Then, we chatted some more. Mostly, I was thinking, “I’d love some more leg room.” These venues aren’t built for anyone over 5’2.

Ol’ Tarantino was taking his sweet time to head onstage. Many of the people surrounding our block of three seats had cracked open their books and started reading. It was a nice sight to behold but then, when you remember that the venue forced us to put our phones away, it checks out.

CHAPTER III: Tarantino speaks

Finally, Tarantino takes the stage with famed film critic and director Elvis Mitchell. Thunderous applause.

The two gentlemen take their seats (both have ample leg room) and I wondered, “Do they rehearse Q and A’s backstage?” Does the person who has to provide the “A’s” have any clue what the “Q’s” will be?

Just as I was finishing that thought, Mitchell asked a question about director Brian De Palma.

Oh. It was going to be one of those interviews.

Truth be told, I love Tarantino talking about movies as much as the next cinephile but that’s not quite worth $90 if I’m being honest.

Over the course of the next hour, Tarantino referenced obscure movies from his filmgoing heyday in the early ‘70s (“Joe,” “Where’s Poppa,” “The Bus Is Coming,” dozens more), how he loved rowdy crowds as a kid and self-congratulatory anecdotes about run-ins with Pauline Kael after having devoured her stuff at B Dalton as a teen.

I found myself yawning.

This was an event I’d been looking to forever. Even though I “knew” this was what the Q&A was going to be, something felt off. This wasn’t the live-wire Tarantino whose interviews always seemed special and spontaneous. At the very least, an anecdote or two about the movies he made rather than secondhand stories would do.

My yawn must have been heard because Tarantino finally told a “Jackie Brown” tale.

YES! 

Essentially, when Tarantino cast Robert Forster as Max Cherry in the film, he told him he wanted to revive the character Forster played in the 1980 film “Alligator,” except now he’s 17 years older.

CHAPTER IV: The Interruption

Halfway through this delightful trivia tidbit, a man started screaming obscenities at the stage. I can’t say for certain what was going on with him.

To ease the tension, Tarantino said, “Hey fella, calm down or we’re gonna have to bounce you out” or something to that effect.

Fairly innocuous response. For a guy that talked at length about how much he loved a “live theater experience” this was a wee bit hypocritical but it seemed as if his heart was in the right place as the yeller wasn’t “adding” to the experience. In any event, the old Tarantino would have definitely engaged more and had more fun with this live moment.

I digress.

A woman sitting near me in the balcony didn’t think his off-handed comment was quite as well-meaning.

She bellowed, “QUENTIN TARANTINO. That man might have a mental illness. Don’t talk to him like that.”

The crowd booed. Vibes had been harshed.

Honestly, I was on her side.

Tarantino could have been a bit more sensitive in this tense situation. Sure, she was a bit hard on him with her stern tone but maybe this man-child turned bravura director needed a talking to, to lively things up! We were getting somewhere! The night was finally electric.

He responded.

“If you don’t like me, why did you come?”

Cheers.

She said something to the effect of “I know my Second Amendment rights” (I hope she meant the First Amendment!) and was removed soon after.

Elvis Mitchell made a corny joke.

“Now, THIS is a Town Hall.”

More cheers.

I guess it was a “town hall” in that the dissenting dialogue was shut down right away.

At this point, Tarantino deflected and returned to his comfy Forster story but you know that thing where you avoid the elephant in the room and it’s all people can think about? This was definitely that.

To quash the weirdness in the room, Tarantino and Mitchell actually started getting into juicy movie gossip.

Tarantino humbly bragged that he refused to do a dialogue polish on “Shaft” because “dialogue is his well water” which he further explained saying, “he doesn’t just give that away.”

Elvis prodded more and Tarantino broke the news that he had written a play and an eight-episode miniseries (maybe tied to “Justified” my friend Charlton guessed), the latter of which will go into production next year.

When asked for details, Tarantino didn’t budge saying, “I’m a bummer! Sorry!”

Intermission.

Maybe in the second half, Tarantino would do a full-on Q&A and we’d get some of his storytelling magic.

Nah.

CHAPTER V: The reading of the book

When he returned, QT read the first chapter of his book aloud. Ironically, we’d all pretty much read this chapter at that point since we’d all had our phones taken away, thus, making this the most useless live audiobook experience I’d ever seen.

To make matters worse, Tarantino did problematic racist voices imitating people in the audience at blaxploitation films from his youth.

No joke, people got up and walked out. 

I would have too but I paid $90 to sit in the second to last row. There was no way I was leaving before they kicked us out.

QT wrapped up the first chapter. There was no audience Q&A. Just the conversation and reading and that was that.

He waved and strode offstage.

CHAPTER VI: The whole ride home

The whole ride home, all I could think was “Q and A’s suck. No one really prepares, the conversation is dull and it’s awkward for the audience to have to laugh extra hard at lame jokes almost as a favor to the people onstage.”

Finally, I got off the train. It was cold.

As I climbed down the stairs at my station, I noticed a couple. They also had the orange “Cinema Speculation” book.

“Were you guys at Town Hall tonight?”

Obviously.

I asked if they enjoyed the show. They did. “What did you think?” the wife asked.

CHAPTER VII: The airing of the grievances

Couldn’t help myself. I aired all my grievances to strangers complaining that the show wasn’t more about Tarantino, didn’t have an audience Q&A, how I had such high expectations but they weren’t even close to being met and the night didn’t feel meaningful.

The wife looked at me. 

“He was promoting his book,” she said.

She’s right.

Sometimes, you just have to accept things for what they are, not what you want them to be. The night was what it was.

Either way, fingers crossed that Daft Punk comes out of retirement and lives up to impossible expectations.

Comedy Stray Notes October 19, 2022

• Last week, I did something weird that I never do.

I defended myself.

Well, some might interpret this as an internet act so small (yet petty) that one could imagine Sir Larry David himself saying, “What's the big deal here exactly?”

OK, enough ramble.

Let’s start at the beginning.

Thursday morning, I’m in the shower. This is where a lot of my best brainstorming happens (as is the case for most of the population I imagine, don’t fact check me). If it was up to me, I’d take nine showers a day and generate nonstop brilliant ideas.

Anyhow, I thought of the bones of a dumb tweet while warmish water rained over me. This was it:

“Kinda messed up that when babies are born they don’t get properly onboarded with a welcome email or lunch with the team”

Alright, that’s kinda funny. I showed it to Anna who was sitting on the couch feeding our lil baby daughter. She punched it up, adding the part about getting “properly onboarded.”

So far, yes, this does just sound like the story of a tweet. In my mind, all tweets deserve origin story essays but trust me, the story isn’t just about the tweet (it sort of is though). 

Slowly but surely, this tweet begins doing numbers quickly racking up 100 likes, 500 likes, 1000 likes. 

Once I’m at that point, I reach out to a popular Instagram meme account (I’ll leave all of the accounts I discuss nameless) to see if they would like to share. They say, “Sure.”

This person properly credits me and is a mensch about the whole process.

Soon after, this silly tweet blows up wholesale. That’s how going viral works. You go up the algorithm hill and once you hit a certain amount of engagement, BOOM, you explode and everyone in Scotland and New Zealand is sharing your joke. 

When this happens, I make sure that my dumb tweet has a few tags (riffs on the initial punchline). In this case, they were:

“It’s all just 1-1s with your new managers”

And a silly “bio” for a baby:

“Fresh from interning in the womb and excited to jump right in! On the weekends, I mostly sleep and cry lol”

Finally, I promote myself. Because of course. I wrote:

In case this blows up, I recommend checking out my nerdy comedy newsletter:

http://Mattlevyscomedystraynotes.Substack.com

If this doesn’t blow up, well that was just embarrassing

OK, that’s that. Just wanted to bask in the glory for a minute there. 

Now let’s get into the numbers. 

Twitter analytics tells me, to date, the tweet has 101K likes, 4M impressions (that means a lot of people saw it and were like “Nawww”), 178 people commented and I got…12 new followers. Classic.

A company, who is unaware of the low engagement, reached out and asks if they can promote their business under my tweet.

I say, “Sure. $50” (the last time a company asked if they could promote their business, I let them set the price point and got paid $25. Figured I would see if I could get double this time). Never heard back from these folks.

Finally, this is where things get juicy. Friends start reaching out to me and letting me know that OTHER meme pages have shared this tweet without having contacted me.

“Why do you care? They’re promoting you, right?” you may ask.

True, but if they don’t ask for permission or properly credit me, that’s technically theft for their benefit. At least that’s the way I see it.

Back to the story.

The first Instagram account that stole my joke is fairly large. I reach out to them and send a message saying, “Hey, I’m the guy that wrote the joke if you’d like to credit me.”

No response. Makes sense. Large account, probably went to their “other folder.”

Hours later, I leave an irritating comment to the effect of “Hey, see that joke up there? That was me who wrote it.”

Still nothing.

So, I report the account for “Intellectual Property Violation” (yes, Instagram is sophisticated enough to have that category in their extensive dropdown menu of reasons why an account should be reported).

Never ended up hearing from them.

Oh, well.

A second account leeches onto the tweet. I go through the same rigamarole. DM, comment, report.

Miraculously, the account changes their tune and credits me after my venomous comment where I wrote:

Don’t you think it’s a little messed up these huge accounts steal content without doing any research whatsoever? I think they should properly credit and compensate everyone they benefit from. Might just be me though LMFAO

I open my inbox and the person has written to me:

“just saw your message in the comment. Absolutely want to credit you and have updated it in caption. I did try to search for matt levy but found 15 names so I couldn’t assign you credit.”

Fair enough.

I reply, “You can always message on twitter. Do you guys offer compensation?”

Now, you’re probably like “DUUUUDE? Compensation? For a joke?”

Yes. These accounts have partnerships and monetization turned on, yet everything they churn out is stolen. If they’re making money, I absolutely think I deserve a cut.

This person says, “we are not active on twitter but that’s a good point. No, we do not offer compensation. If you like, i can take the tweet down.”

I continue, “Nah, it’s fine (I’ll still take the promotion because I’m shameless). I’d recommend getting in Twitter if you take people’s tweets though. Why do you guys do stuff like this? Do you profit? I’m genuinely curious”

(At this point, I know full well that they profit. I just want to them say it).

Our mysterious viral thief answers, “our mission is to call out work bulls–t. Most of our content is original. But if we find that a smaller insta creator has content that is pretty good then we share their content and grow them. Or if we find content that is outside of insta we share it here and credit. It’s good for the work satire ecosystem.

in terms of profit, we do ads on some of our original content that usually permeates boardrooms globally around the world.”

Things are getting spicy now.

I couldn’t help myself but point out the irony and responded, “Excuse my language but this is the ultimate work bulls–t.”

Rarely are my comebacks that perfect.

In fact, it was so good, this person wrote back, 

“Solid.”

Then, they added, “This is an extremely common model on instagram. People share other content, give credit and everyone benefits. I am okay if you disagree with it. I will take down the tweet. I don’t think you are comfortable with this model.”

Now I’m on my moral high horse and ready to lecture.

I spit back, “ You can def leave it at this point (shamelessness continues!). I just think the system is broken. Appreciate the transparency and the fact you spoke with me. I mean it’s just a dumb joke at the end of the day.”

This person then starts playing the “I was on your side all along” card throwing out this gem:

“Dumb or not, it’s still your creation and it needs to be credited and respected.”

Says the person who takes people's stuff and makes money off it.

I reply, “(Sure). It’s just when someone else uses (a joke of mine), I get proprietary. As a businessperson might! Word. I think we’re cool now.”

Now, we’re over the hump and I give in. There’s no need to be a jerk anymore…I think. 

“Solid - I appreciate you reached out,” my new friend writes.

I apologize for my behavior by replying, “Of course. Sorry for getting salty- this just happens too often. Def get on Twitter too. People will appreciate it (By people, I mean me).”

Yes, this is the smallest grievance of all time but I want the last word. New friend ain’t letting that happen though. They say…

“It’s all good man - my content has been shared on every major platform many many times - sometimes with credit and sometimes without credit. Sometimes it leads to growth and I am happy and sometimes it leads to no credit and copy cat. It hurts but after doing this for 4 years, I have learnt to accept it and make it a rule to give credit and growth to other accounts as much as I can.”

Then, they throw out this classic line:

“Twitter engagement sucks - no intention of wasting my effort there with the kind of content I have.”

“Kind of content I have.” I’m so confused by the delusion here. This isn’t your stuff. It’s my stuff! And other people’s stuff. Maybe some is yours but this is crazy talk.

Finally, we get into semantics over engagement on Twitter and after a conversational standstill, I say, “Feel free to follow me as well now that were pals.”

This stranger does not answer.

So, yes. This pettiness was all over pretty much nothing. 

But my God, it felt cathartic to write it out and make myself sound like the good guy

(Shameless).

Comedy Stray Notes October 1, 2022

• Every May, the SNL season ends and a group chat of mine dies for a few months.

Sure, we’ll get tidbits and morsels of news like “such and such cast member is leaving the show” or “such and such cast member is breaking up with such and such Kardashian” or “omg Lorne was interviewed by the New York Times” but it’s not the same.

Thankfully, Dana Carvey and David Spade’s frequently laugh out loud funny, SNL-centric “Fly On The Wall” has filled the variety show-sized hole in my heart all summer long (really all year long) and became my favorite podcast in the process.

Each week, the two former Not Ready For Prime Time Players bring in a guest to talk about the best show that starts at 11:30 p.m. on Saturdays that isn’t the local news, “Fridays” or “Mad TV.”

It doesn’t hurt that they also drop bombshell backstage revelations that don’t make it into oral histories and juicy details about projects that never made it off the ground.

Now, that the show is coming back tonight Saturday, Oct. 1 with host Miles Teller (guessing they couldn’t get Tom Cruise, Beyonce, Quinta Brunson or anyone from “Don’t Worry Darling”), I wanted to share the best moment from each episode of the show (yeah, I nerd out hard) to tide you over until the Season 48 premiere in just a few hours.

Chris Rock (Jan. 12): Rock auditioned with Dana Gould (stand up and “Simpsons” writer). Apparently, Gould blew the roof off his audition but somehow didn’t get cast. Ships in the night.

*This Gould audition is the stuff of legend. Any comedy nerd worth their salt has heard mention of this story countless times.

Rob Lowe (Jan. 12): Lorne Michaels once told Rob Lowe that there are “only 900 funny people on the planet.”

Tina Fey (Jan. 19): Fey joined Lin Manuel Miranda’s improvised hip-hop show “Freestyle Love Supreme” as a guest monologist one night. She was freaking out that she “might have to rap.” 

Spoiler alert: she ended up just telling a story.

Conan O’Brien (Jan. 26): Conan sagely shared, “Everything from the past seems inevitable. Like of course, Franklin Roosevelt was President four times. But at the time, that wasn’t so certain. Nor were Sandler, Farley or Norm who had bumpy starts (on the show). (Audiences) hated Norm and Sandler for a while.”

Tom Hanks (Feb. 2): Hanks told a fun anecdote about how Robert Smigel wrote a sketch in the mid-’80s making fun of Jerry Seinfeld that included the line, “What’s the deal with socks?” Dennis Miller overheard the pitch and said, “You can’t do that! That’s Seinfeld’s act.” They ended up calling Jerry— he was cool with it. “I’ve retired that joke” was his response.

Darrell Hammond (Feb. 9): In this episode, Hammond and Carvey do dueling Regis Philbins AND Bill Clintons. However, the funniest moment (and maybe best moment in this young podcast’s history) comes from Spade when he gets bored during one of Darrell’s stories. The ribbing that follows is priceless.

Laraine Newman (Feb. 16): This is ultra-nerdy but superfans will love to hear that Newman aligned herself with writers Michael O’Donoghue, Rosie Shuster and Tom Schiller when she performed on the show- a truly legendary trio of scribes. 

Johnny Knoxville (Feb. 23): The whole episode revolves around just how close Knoxville and his stunts were to becoming a fixture on SNL in the late ‘90s before he decided to go with MTV instead.

Jon Lovitz (March 2): There’s nothing more fun than when Spade and Carvey reveal projects they ALMOST worked on. In this episode, Spade lets out that he was very close to being cast in “Home Alone” and Carvey chimes in that he and Lovitz were originally supposed to be the “Bad Boys” and the movie was written for the two of them. Yes, the Will Smith and Martin Lawrence “Bad Boys.”

Jon Hamm (March 9): Hamm told a wild tale about how he helped Amy Poehler get through a tough phone call where she found out that her OBGYN died just days before she was going to give birth.

Bonus fact: Spade wrote an intentionally dumb sketch for Farley back in the day called “Goo Goo in the Honeypot.” It was cut for time.

Sarah Silverman (March 16): One of the wildest backstage stories of all time dropped in this one- Silverman accidentally stabbed Al Franken in the writer’s room with a pencil. 

Judd Apatow (March 23): Apatow is an anecdote machine but my favorite bit here was his re-telling of a joke he wrote for Dennis Miller years ago about Paul Simon. It went, “Paul Simon will be coming out with 27 musicians to replace Art.”

Bonus wisdom from Carvey: “At a certain point in every person in showbiz’s life, they become a caricature of themselves.”

Ben Stiller (March 30): Stiller got on SNL (albeit for a very brief period of time) by handing a VHS of his “Color of Money” parody to Jon Lovitz who passed it along to Lorne. 

Tim Meadows (April 6): In Meadows’ early seasons on the show, Lorne would repeatedly ask him, “Who helped you write that?” rather than give him due credit.

Bill Hader (April 13): Turns out both Hader and Spade attended Scottsdale Community College. For those who don’t know, their mascot is an Artichoke.

Bonus fact(s): There was almost a Stefon movie but it never worked as a sketch so they nixed it. Spade said he’d wanted to do a Gap Girls movie but it just never happened. Carvey then brought up the infamous “Hans and Franz” script that floated around in the early ‘90s. That movie was never made because “audiences couldn’t accept the characters outside the gym.” 

Drew Barrymore (April 20): Barrymore still holds the record for youngest host ever when she gamely led the show at seven-years-old in 1982. To get her through the monologue, Tim Kazurinsky (one of the show’s most underrated cast members), brought out a monkey.

Side note: Kazurinsky is known for his intentionally melodramatic, formally daring “So I Married A Monkey” sketches.

Mike Myers (April 27): Myers (like myself and almost everyone) is a huge Beatles nut. However, what separates him is he’s had quite a bit of contact with the Fab Four. Case in point, he was the recipient of George Harrison’s last letter before he died in 2001. The note was all about how much he liked Mini Me. 

Also, Paul McCartney allegedly talked all throughout a Wayne’s World screening.

James Austin Johnson (May 4): Johnson, a Nashville native, got his start in comedy memorizing a guy named Brian Stein’s stand-up.

Jim Downey (May 11): Downey, one of the show’s most famous writers, explained that SNL uses the static cold open “sit at a desk” format because it’s so much easier to write things last-minute that don’t include moving pieces.

Bonus fact: You may know Downey from his “We are now all dumber for having heard that” speech he delivers at the end of “Billy Madison.” That speech’s origin comes from read-throughs at SNL where he would say that to Farley.

Dennis Miller (May 18): Truly loved the way Dennis Miller paid tribute to Norm saying he was “like Andy Kaufman if he could write jokes.”

Jeff Goldblum (May 25): Nearly three decades ago, Goldblum and Spade starred in a sketch called “Karl’s Video” together. Spade’s character, an irritating clerk who would innocuously name drop customers with lines like “I have Whoopi Goldberg’s number and card information, I’m not going to do anything with it” never recurred. It’s a shame because it’s laugh out loud funny.

Adam Sandler (June 1): The "bad guy" role in "Billy Madison" was originally written for Bob Odenkirk. The studio turned him down.  Sandler’s next option, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, auditioned. Sandler loved his performance. He called him and PSH said, "I don't want to do it. I just don't want to." Bradley Whitford got the part.

Molly Shannon (June 8): When a sketch would bomb, Shannon said that she and Ferrell embraced the quiet awkwardness and would commit even harder.

Bob Odenkirk (June 15): Even after having been on “Better Call Saul” and “Breaking Bad,” Odenkirk still regularly gets recognized for his stint on “How I Met Your Mother.”

Bonus fact: On Sunday nights while writing at SNL, Odenkirk would often do stand up around the city to remember how “it felt to get laughs.”

Bonus bonus fact: Odenkirk helped shape Spade’s recurring “Hollywood Minute” segment on “Weekend Update.”

Martin Short (June 22): Short shared his brilliant technique for learning how to impersonate someone (that he used to get Gore Vidal’s mannerisms down). He said, “All you have to do is type up a speech of theirs, learn their vocabulary and let the voice come from there.”

Heidi Gardner (June 29): Gardner started comedy late in life and joined the Groundlings on a whim. Not only did she never think she’d get SNL, she never expected to move up at the Groundlings’ improv and sketch company.

Robert Smigel (July 6): Easily my favorite episode of the series. The stretch where Smigel roasts Carvey and Spade is by far the funniest “Fly On The Wall” has ever been.

However, what stuck with me the most was that he and Carvey felt guilty that their Johnny Carson sketch hurt the elder Late Night talk show host so much.

Carson allegedly said, “Once they make fun of you, you got to go.”

Jimmy Fallon (July 13): Have to give credit where it’s due, Fallon does such a spot-on Neil Young impression, I genuinely thought it was the classic rocker himself while listening to this episode.

John Mulaney (July 20): Mulaney gave special credit to Bill Hader who always shouted out the writers he worked with on the show when he would appear on talk shows or in interviews. That’s what put his name on the map.

Credit for giving credit. You love to see it.

Ellen Cleghorne (July 27): Perhaps the saddest episode (although still funny). Cleghorne admitted she never met Lorne and was paid just $245/week on the show. Conversely, Spade started at $900 and Carvey’s first paycheck was for $4500. 

Then, Al Franken stopped writing for Cleghorne after she said she couldn’t belch on command. Comedy is weird.

Mike Judge (Aug. 3): Inspiration for Beavis struck Judge at a young age. One of his friends was in a calculus class taught by a former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. His pal  friend sat in the front and laughed at everything she said. Voila! Character created. 

Bonus fact: In the early ‘90s, studios were clamoring for an Office Space movie based on the Milton shorts Judge produced for SNL. He couldn’t quite figure out the movie’s structure since Milton wasn’t really a protagonist. Finally, when they asked for a “‘Car Wash’ style ensemble” it finally clicked for him. 

Rob Schneider (two-part episode released Aug. 10 and 12): Schneider came up with Carvey in San Francisco’s stand up scene in the early ‘80s. Schneider recounted that back then “Carvey and Robin Williams were the main attractions” and “people would line up around the block to see Carvey’s shows.” 

Bonus fun fact: Fans of the legendary “Il Cantore” sketch (such as myself) can hear every painstaking detail that went into its creation from the giddy late night “does this work?” genesis in the writer’s room to battling with the censors over Schneider’s nudity.

Vanessa Bayer (Aug. 17): Since no one has updated the Wikipedia, the SNL page lists Vanessa Bayer as the “longest-tenured female cast member” (at least at the time of recording; now it has Kate McKinnon and Cecily Strong tied for the top spot).

Maya Rudolph (Aug. 24): Rudolph stayed at the show writing every morning until 8 a.m. This was even after she had a kid.

Bonus comedy advice: Rudolph said, “There’s nothing more important than being nice in comedy.” The co-hosts echoed this sentiment. Most would argue that being funny should be the highest priority but they might be onto something here.

Colin Quinn (Aug. 31): Quinn turned down the “Scott” role in “Austin Powers” that later went to Seth Green. Mike Myers offered it to him over the phone based on his performance in “Larry Sanders.” On the call, Quinn said, “Nah, I don’t want to do it. I’m working on my own movie.”

Kevin Nealon (Sept. 7): “When visiting SNL as a former cast member,” Nealon said, “You never feel less needed.”

Bonus fun fact: At the show’s famous after-parties, Nealon would have to cover the tabs of his family and friends he brought along.

Cheri Oteri (Sept 14): Oteri was such a huge Dennis Miller fan that when he called her to congratulate her for dominating on the show, she repeated bits back to him from his “The Off White Album.” 

Nick Kroll (Sept. 21): Kroll auditioned for the show in 2008 with Ellie Kemper, Jordan Peele and John Mulaney. The only cast member to actually get the show that year was Bobby Moynihan. 

Bonus fun fact: Kroll and Mulaney wrote a movie about a Nigerian prince who’s actually the real deal starring Tracy Morgan back in ‘08. He’s still hoping it gets made someday.

Lorne Michaels (Sept. 28): At the beginning of the episode, it sounds like Spade’s assistant asks if Lorne wants a snack and someone suggests Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. 

I love the image of Lorne eating Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

There’s a lot more but if you’ve read this far, you’re a true comedy nerd and I bet you’ll want to listen to the Lorne episode yourself.

• Can’t wait to see what the premiere brings tonight. No matter what, I know Anna Paone and I will be up* watching while trying to shush a crying baby (that baby is our daughter, not a random baby, btw).

*Probably watching Sunday morning because we’re exhausted and go to bed at 9 now.

• Hit me up if you want to join the SNL group chat- the more, the merrier

Comedy Stray Notes September 20, 2022

• 2000s movies have a special place in my heart. 

In that decade, nearly any dumb comedy could score a theatrical greenlight as long as Jason Bateman, Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, Jack Black or Seth Rogen’s face was plastered on a poster and eventual DVD cover.

This glut of tentpole releases produced classics (“Pineapple Express,” “Tropic Thunder” and “Step Brothers” were all released on back-to-back-to-back weeks in 2008) and many forgotten duds (“Year One,” “The Switch,” “Along Came Polly”).

Little did we know that this was the last gasp of the moviegoing experience.

Soon after, the stars from this era aged out of these roles and streaming relegated comedies with modest budgets to the small screen except for a few rare exceptions.

That’s not what I’m here to talk about though. 

Instead, let’s discuss one bizarre box office bomb from 2007 (the peak of theatrical comedy releases) that was lost to the sands of time.

Written by Will Forte, directed by Bob Odenkirk and starring Forte, Will Arnett, Kristen Wiig, Chi McBride, Lee Majors and Malin Akerman with Bill Hader, Jenna Fischer, in supporting roles, “The Brothers Solomon” sounds like a slam dunk on paper even today.

In reality, it’s not. It’s really not. It’s so not.

“The Brothers Solomon” is at times tasteless, vulgar, tone deaf and downright mean to marginalized groups.

I’m being generous here too. 

As we all know all too well, comedies generally don’t age well.

However, for one brief five-minute stretch in “The Brothers Solomon’s” third act, it achieves transcendence. 

Yes, one scene in this movie is unimpeachable comedy gold on par with all the best silly films— “Zoolander,” “Anchorman,” “Knocked Up”— of this period.

In fact, this scene was so good I watched it three times and I never re-watch anything. 

Here’s the setup.

“The Brothers Solomon’s” premise is simple. A pair of dim-witted brothers (Forte and Arnett) want to have a child because their dying father (Majors) would have liked that.

They think.

So, the two go on a quest far and wide soliciting and putting down potential mates (one of the film’s most painful stretches) before deciding that they want to adopt. Of course, they blow that too. Finally, the fellas land on a surrogate (played by Kristen Wiig) demanding a hefty fee which they agree to after negotiating her to a higher price than she initially bargained for.

Toward the end of the film, Wiig decides she wants to keep the baby for herself and disappears.

Forte and Arnett flounder. They need this baby to impress their coma-ridden father!

While searching for Wiig, a moment of inspiration strikes when the two spot a sky banner that reads “Eat at Eatz Diner.”

Yes! That’s the ticket.

NOTE: This sequence takes place around the 1:13:40 mark into the movie’s 93-minute runtime if you want to fast forward.

Of course, in a classic Forte misdirect, they eat at the diner rather than procure a sky banner.

Post-meal, they see another banner. This one says “Your Ad Here.”

Cut to the guys walking out of the sky banner shop. Forte remarks, “I can’t believe they charged us $50 a letter.” Arnett replies, “That’s why we kept it short.” 

Now, the audience (well, me, probably the only person watching this very dumb movie on HBOMax) thinks, “This will be a kind of long message. That’s the bit.”

Quite the contrary, my friend.

Similar to Forte’s legendary spelling bee sketch on SNL or Odenkirk’s drawn out “Mr. Show” interconnecting episodes, the joke here goes so long that it reaches a point where you can’t even believe it’s gleefully still chugging along.

The banner in the sky begins:

“Hi, my name is John and I’m his brother Dean. Hi.”

I’m already laughing. That message alone costs over $2000.

It continues: “We’ve got a little situation here and boy, could we use your help.”

“How can you help? Well, sit back and relax, we’re about to tell you. You can start by grabbing a pen and paper to write down some information.”

And I’ll leave it at that. If you read this far, you deserve the courtesy of not having every joke spoiled. 

However, I will say that the scene goes on for FIVE more minutes and keeps getting explosively funnier to the point where I had tears in my eyes from laughing.

Once it concluded, I ran it back for Anna who loved it just as much as me. Later that night, her dad, a fellow comedy nerd, doubled over laughing.

If you want to catch this ridiculous and often cringeworthy movie in its entirety, it’s running on HBOMax until Sept. 30.

Thankfully though, the sky banner scene is available on YouTube thanks to user “UncleKappy.”

Bless you, UncleKappy.

Watch whichever version you like- I don’t gain anything either way other than knowing you had the satisfaction of also witnessing something gloriously dumb trapped in a movie not worthy of its genius.

All of a sudden…

POOF! 

*Levy turns into a bat and flies off into the night 

(That’s the end)

Five things I learned each day in the first week of my daughter's life

• We’re in the middle of a baby boom.

Well, if you take a peek at my Instagram feed, it definitely FEELS like we’re in the middle of a baby boom.

Everywhere I look on social media, infants belonging to friends, comedians and old coworkers are popping up.

Maybe it’s not a baby boom though. Maybe I’m just 34 and that’s the natural progression of life.

Yeah, that’s probably more likely.

• In my first week of parenting, I furiously documented everything I could about the experience.

I really get the old adage, “They grow up so fast” now. It’s true. Blink and your kid is growing little eyebrow hair tufts. These things just sprout up overnight.

Now, with a bit of hindsight, I, a certified DILF, am ready to share my sappy thoughts, stray observations and half baked jokes about being a dad that I scribbled in a Google Doc during the first week of our baby’s life.

To keep this short (a first for me), here are the five things I learned each day our baby lived at home.

• Day One

01.) It already feels like every day is a routine of burps, laughs, poops, pees, the occasional fart, milk spit up, rooting (when baby turns into a gremlin looking for a nipple to latch onto), sleep sacks, generous gifts from friends and family, pediatrician visits, repeat.

02.) When I brought baby Pep into our apartment for the first time, I showed her everything slowly. Her bassinet, the nursery we set up for her, her assortment of baby chairs. Don’t think she really absorbed my thorough lesson. Classic baby move.

03.) Told her “today is the best day of your life.” A month later, I now realize that it must have been terrifying to be moved into a new place with no explanation whatsoever. So yeah, probably not “the best day of her life.”

04.) Anna read Pep her first book and I learned she can’t see much. The world is in black and white for up until the first six weeks of a baby’s life.

Allegedly, she can only see 12-18 inches in front of her face AND too much eye contact is a stimulation overload.

Essentially, babies need a lot of love/attention/people saying “aren’t you the cutest thing ever” in their face, but give them space. But not too much space. They shouldn’t be in a room by themselves ever either.

So many contradictory needs. Good luck getting it all right, new moms and dads! You're going to be told you're wrong a lot.

05.) Wished our cute Pep would stay two days old forever and told her she could live at the apartment and freeload for all time. Wouldn’t even mind.

A month later, I don’t hate the idea of her getting a job.

BONUS CONTENT: At night, Pep pops her little hands out of her tiny sleep sack right after she’s been swaddled. Amazing comedic timing. The kid is already Chaplin-esque. No baby before has ever done this trick. She’s a true original and all other babies are hacks.

Day two:

01.) Anna and I FaceTime’d with fellow new parents who instructed us that “you can be a little rough” diapering your baby. Kind of intense advice. Now that I’m seven weeks deep, I still disagree with it!

Erring on the side of the gentlest you’ve ever been is always the way to go IMHO.

02.) You will have lots of visitors to see the baby. They will politely tell you that your toilet is nasty. This one might just be on me. My toilet seat is a bit nasty.

(NOTE: There are two toilets in our apartment which is very rare for New York. It’s kinda like we’re the Royal Family or something. Anyway, Anna wanted to let everyone know her toilet is not nasty and everyone’s favorite to use).

03.) With the help of Anna’s family, we rearranged the bedroom to make things easier for middle of the night feedings. It seemed like a stressful undertaking but now that we’ve done it (and it only took 20ish minutes), I’d never go back. This is the way to live.

04.) Napped from 5-6 p.m. for the first time in 20 years.

When you wake up from such a short burst of sleep, you’re a bit delirious. This time, I couldn’t stop singing a song I made up with the lyrics, “You, me and mommy. All ya gotta do is dance.”

It sounded better than it reads.

05.) Started writing down observations about babies for a future one-man show that will surely pale in comparison to Mike Birbiglia’s “The New One.” Here are some of the bare bones premises:

Don’t know what baby clothes designers who put pockets in shirts are doing. Nothing goes in there.

If you want, you can “Simba” your Baby like you’re Rafiki atop Mt. Lion King while playing “The Circle Of Life” whenever you want. It’s a fun bit if you’re playing Rafiki. Babies who are thrust into the role of Simba don’t appreciate it though.

Ok, that’s all I got.

Slept until 2:40 a.m. when we were awoken by baby yelps (kids don’t have tears until they’re six weeks old) expecting a full diaper. Nah, the Huggies were empty. Classic. Back to bed.

Day three:

01.) Had a nightmare around 4:15 and bolted the door shut.

You know how you can’t ever really sleep on a plane? Parenting is like that.

While I’m on my high horse about sleep, here’s a piece of advice I stand by:

Don’t tell “parents to be” to get as much sleep as possible. I say slowly wean yourself off of sleep and wake up early for creative projects in the morning. Then, waking up at odd hours won’t be so hard.

Yes, I know. I’m a genius.

02.) The whole house smells like baby poop (which is oddly reminiscent of movie theater popcorn) but I don’t mind. Not when your kid is so cute. I could even see baby poop becoming a scent at Yankee Candle for parents that want to relive the early days.

03.) From now on, I see everyone as a former baby. Once you have one, you can’t unsee it.

04.) Listening to baby’s breath is magical. Wow. Just hearing her little noises is enough to melt even the most cynical heart. Somehow her mini snores are better.

Still, she’s a raging rookie human who just entered this world and is going through some sort of postpartum depression of her own.

To combat this, white noise machines are a true Godsend.

Somehow, they always calm baby down. Allegedly, vacuums do as well.

04a.) If you’re ever annoyed, sleep deprived and hungry, tell yourself “Enjoy the small moments. Baby will never be younger,” and you’ll be back in the moment in no time.

In all fairness, I stole that idea from a similar sentimental article about parenting. Sue me.

05.) No matter what, treat your wife like the queen (well, not the Queen that just passed, R.I.P.). Say stuff like “Today is Anna Day” and celebrate her all day. Bring breakfast in bed. Cook her favorite dinners. Have trail mix at the ready for middle of the night feedings. Basically, food goes a long way. Eating is kind of everyone’s love language.

Day four:

01.) It’s a lot scarier to hold a baby when it’s not yours. Somehow your own child is much easier to lug around. Probably because you log so many hours transporting them from one room in the house to another.

02.) Babies are the ultimate excuse to get out of a FaceTime call. Just saying “I’d love to chat but the baby JUST pooped” gives you carte blanche to hang up.

Maybe the baby didn’t poop but the person on the other end doesn’t need to know that. Now you can go back to watching “The Sopranos.”

03.) I thought I was a genius whispering to the baby to calm her down and then I remembered whisperers exist. That’s literally their thing.

04.) Babies have horrible taste in music. Like she somehow prefers Broadway music to The Strokes? Hell nah.

05.) I don’t like accepting gifts. It makes me uncomfortable and feels transactional even if there’s love behind it. See, in my mind, I just think “A thank you card is expected. You’ll probably want a gift in return too. Then, I probably won’t even get what I want when I could have just bought it for myself guilt free.”

That all changes now though.

My mom wanted to send me food and shoes. I said, “Hell yeah, I’ll take some food. I’m in for some Hokas too” (Hokas are a comfortable shoe my mom introduced me to. As soon as you wear them, nothing compares. No, this isn’t a sponsored post). Once you have a kid, you start dropping your arbitrary moral high ground.

Later today, I requested my uncle John write a poem dedicated to baby Pep introducing her to the world.

Here is an excerpt:

Welcome, that is, to your loving

mother and father, welcome

to skies, birds and birdsongs, trees, oceans, dawns,

fairy tales, hugs, laughter (and you will have plenty

with your parents!). Welcome

to Earth, welcome to the universe, welcome

to dreams, to love, to music, to silences and peace,

to your aunts and uncles and grand-

parents, to playgrounds, constellations, flowers, to

your life.

If you’re not crying, something is wrong with you. Or maybe, I’m just a blubbering sentimental softie now. Probably that too.

The generosity continued through the week.

My friend from college Bernie bought us a Thai lunch complete with spring rolls, sparing no expense. My aunt Leslie AKA the helpful cousin/aunt in charge of our genealogy, entered her in the family tree.

Even better is the fact that you can send a text with a photo of the baby holding said gift and no one is mad that you didn’t send a thank you card. After three-plus decades of writing dull thank you notes, this is a game changer.

Later in the day, I took baby Pep to the dollar store below our apartment and laundromat hoping to score gifts. I am now a gift junkie with no morals whatsoever and will go so far as to actively hunt them.

Our dollar store friend hooked baby up with plush toys. The woman who runs our laundromat handed me a crisp $5 bill.

The people at Anna’s salon didn’t get the hint that we wanted a present for our brand spankin’ new daughter and just said “Congratulations.”

Weak.

Day five:

01.) Told my parents I appreciated how nice they were to me as a kid because I get it now. They said, “You thought we wanted to eat you.” That’s true. I did.

02.) It’s really hard to teach my baby when to stop eating because I don’t even know when to stop eating.

Think this may have something to do with how many buffets my family went to as a kid. There was a place called Sweet Tomatoes we loved that was delicious and most likely shaped my unhealthy relationship with food.

Memories!

03.) Cloth diapers are made to upset babies. They’re intentionally uncomfortable teaching newborns to potty train faster. That’s messed up.

You’re probably imagining a cloth diaper with clothespins. So was I. Those are no longer a thing. Now cloth diapers come with “snappys” that have sharp, razorlike hooks.

Good luck and don’t accidentally stab your baby’s thigh with them!

04.) Would like to see a “Breaking Bad” style show starring Ken Jennings and Mayim Bialik. Yes, we watched a lot of “Jeopardy” while Anna nursed.

I often fall asleep now while Anna is up next to me saying things like “What is Peru?”

05.) Don’t ever hang up a call between your wife and mother in law before it’s over EVEN if you have a good reason.

Learned that one the hard way.

Day six:

01.) Baby Pep saw rain for the first time today. She was not impressed. Babies do not care. All they like in this world are milk, mobiles, pooping, sleeping and things that feel soft.

02.) Today was her first pediatrician appointment. For new parents who don’t have cars like us, always order an Uber XL. The drivers are always fellow parents and happy to help install car seats. The only downside is they’ll share parenting advice the whole ride.

03.) Pediatricians are REALLY nice when you first meet them.

With almost two month’s worth of dad experience under my belt now, I can say that with each subsequent visit, pediatricians become a little less friendly.

Always make sure that they weigh your baby before they poop and pee too otherwise they might be considered “underweight” even though they literally just excreted a good 15% of their body mass.

04.) Babies scratch their faces with no restraint when they’re hungry. It’s terrifying. She has no idea what she’s doing. Just so you know! It’s a thing!

05.) You can make your baby salute people or dab whenever you want.

Still, that’s never as funny as watching a baby cry, suddenly stop mid-sob, forget what they were doing and then start wailing even harder than before. Kids do the darndest things.

Day seven:

01.) If you put a baby in a robe, they look like balding business-men staying at hotels.

02.) It’s nearly impossible to capture a baby’s smile in a still photo since they change their facial expressions so quickly. Over the course of a month, I’ve taken probably 1500 photos and only 70 or so of them are good.

Once I did get a good picture of baby Pep smiling, I told her, “Pep, I’m so proud of you” and she pooped on me. Classic baby move. Then, once we took her diaper off, she pooped some more. Pooping really makes babies smile. Either way, kid has superb comedic timing.

Even better? She somehow flips me off all the time. Love when she does edgy material.

03.) The best way to burp a baby is by gently patting all over their back rather than in just one place. In no time, you’ll be getting cute belches out like a champ.

Yes, most of my days are spent cheering for a tiny human to poop, pee and burp.

04.) Babies are natural yogis. Pep is always finding herself in difficult poses without even knowing it. Even weirder is that our daughter has rock hard abs but the flabbiest, weakest legs of all time. Infant bodies make no sense.

05.) If you squat, your baby will stop crying because the movement reminds them of the womb.

Plus, you, the parent, will get shredded.

So, yeah. You really do learn something new every day. Sometimes even five new things.

Any fellow parents have stuff they want to share with a newb like me?

Hit me up. I’m all ears. I like tips and tricks.

OK, back to parenting IRL for me.

Not a parent and want to ask me questions about what it's like? The DMs are open, my former babies

Baby's First Day Stray Notes

• It’s kind of weird when you think about a baby’s very first day of life. You forget that it’s their actual freckin birthday. There’s no cake or anything but it’s like the ultimate birthday of birthdays.

So, I wanted to tell you how our baby Pep celebrated hers.

Note: I’m not neglecting our baby as I write this. She is currently in a sleepsack (a straitjacket infants love), conked out and looks veddy cute.

• After baby Pep was born on the morning of Thursday, July 28, Anna and I were ushered to the postpartum unit one floor down.

Chalk it up to my lack of awareness, but I had no idea this was part of the experience. I was under the impression that a) baby was born, b) we check out, then c) have the “oh my God, what do we do now” moment at home.

Nah.

Around 3 a.m., Anna, Pep and I moved from floor 12 to floor 11 at the hospital. I asked the doctor if it was kosher if I did one final sweep of the operating room to see if I left anything behind. I did! Knew I forgot my charger. Grabbed it, put the Apple product in my bag and went back downstairs.

Now, this postpartum unit, which had a sticker price of $15,000 for our one-night stay (thank you Anna Paone for teaching me the term “sticker price”) wasn’t exactly a full “room” per se. There was a bed for Anna, a small chair for me and a plastic bassinet for Pep. Sure, it came with cable but I’ve stayed in Motel 6’s with more space.

The icing on the cake was that we had a shocking lack of privacy. Inches away from us, separated by a cloth divider, was another woman who had JUST given birth. 

This poor lady who was just a couple feet away from us with her newborn was now subject to Anna, Pep and I making hella noise as we got settled into our cozy confines.

Thankfully, she was a trooper. A second time mom. In fact, her older kid had an ear infection or something so her husband stayed home to watch number one and she was all by herself. This didn’t phase her though. That’s a hero.

Anyway, back to our side of the postpartum unit.

I was in full-on paranoid mode and wanted to make sure we watched the baby all night long to ensure nothing happened. So, I devised a plan that was quite dumb in retrospect. 

The plan: switch off sleeping every ten minutes to watch the baby.

Yes, after 29 hours of labor, I asked my wife to wake up every ten minutes and watch the baby rather than sleep. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Almost a month later, I’m happy to report that baby Pep was fine the whole time. Our active little sleeper muttered, whinnied and winced in her sleep but was totally cool. 

Sorry, Anna. I know I said it IRL but here it is in digital print too.

6 a.m. or so rolled around and the woman who was a glorified napkin away from us initiated conversation saying, “Congratulations!”

Finally, the ice had been broken. She told us her story, we told her ours, laughs were shared. Hey, maybe it wasn’t so bad being stuck in a stupidly expensive unit with a stranger. Later, her husband came by and we compared babies. They sort of looked the same.

SIDE NOTE: Not to stereotype but a lot of babies look the same. Kind of like character actor Paul Sorvino (RIP). They also all sound like Janis Joplin (also RIP).

At this time, I thought Pep was special because she kept doing this funny thing with her tongue where she would stick it out and roll it up. 

Turns out all babies do that. Oh, well.

BACK TO THE STORY: Walked over to the bathroom in our unit. That was a mistake.

Our nurse/hall monitor/food delivery person/lecturer about “everything we were doing wrong” Sherri (who looked and sounded just like the Lisa Ann Walter character in “Abbott Elementary”), told me “YOU CANNOT USE THAT BATHROOM. IT’S JUST FOR THE WOMEN THAT GAVE BIRTH, DADDY.”

Forgot to mention that everyone that worked at the hospital called me daddy all day long.

That was a perk.

So, I went to the faraway hall bathroom. Couldn’t get anything out. I was constipated. My wife pushed out a baby and I couldn’t drop a deuce. Wish I had a doctor yelling at me to “PUSH, DADDY.”

Went back to the room, dissatisfied. My mood quickly changed when I found blueberry pancakes, eggs and one of those apple juices in a plastic cup where you peel off the top waiting for me.

I remembered, “Holy freck, we’re parents now” and looked at our baby for a good hour or so.

Then, I went on my phone and texted my family. Then, some friends. Then, my old boss to see if he would be sympathetic to ghost-firing me (he wasn’t). Then, a famous comedian’s manager to see if he would be interested in signing me now that I had a baby? He wasn’t.

They did both say congratulations though.

Baby Pep pooped twice. Prior to the pregnancy, I wondered how I would deal with changing a baby almost every day. Well, that, and how the whole not sleeping through the night thing would work. And if I would be good at holding the baby (for a while, I actually wanted to hit a goal weight so my baby would be impressed by my physique when they first met me lol).

On day one, I am happy to report that the poop was not so bad. If it’s your kid, you don’t care. You just want to make sure they’re completely safe, secure and wiped. And let me say, our baby stays clean. We’re very thorough. I don’t think my butt has been as clean as hers since I was a baby. So she has that going for her.

The real hard part (and it continues to be difficult to this day) is putting clothes on a baby. It’s crazy but literally on day one, little girls are wearing elaborate, cute outfits that are more complex than any of the free t-shirts I rotate throughout the week. 

Didn’t think of that one.

Once Pep’s onesie was on, Anna and I sat back and relaxed. This glorified hotel for babies that I didn’t know existed was pretty nice. Maybe I’ll stay there again if I can cobble together a cool $15K.

Sherri (the Lisa Ann Walter one) came back and stressed us out with paperwork, a billion notes and reminded us that we HAVE to watch the mandatory “Shaken Baby Syndrome” video, daddy.

Now, I DEFINITELY want to stay there again.

Our neighbor was discharged and waved a friendly goodbye to us. We didn’t get their names but we’ll miss them forever. Goodbye, fellow daddy and mommy.

For a few hours, we had the whole room to ourselves. We were kings.

I debated sleeping on the other hospital bed they left behind but thought it would be too risky and we’d find a charge for it on our itemized receipt so I passed.

Instead, Anna and I sat together with Pep some more who appeared to be dreaming of how freckin’ sick the womb was. I’d go back if I could too. 

I had so many questions for her that she couldn't answer. She is a baby after all.

A little later, I got a bit jerky and told Anna to be extra careful when she wipes down Pep. 

Once again, that was a boundary crosser. 

Folks, do not critique your wife who just gave birth even if it’s about wiping technique. Lavish praise and nothing else.

Started snapping photos of mommy and baby to make up for my faux pas. One pic was particularly artful and I had to send it to a film school pal.

Little did I know that Anna’s full boobs were in the shot.

I leaked my wife’s nudes on the day of her baby’s birth. My b.

Thought about setting up an IMDb, LinkedIn and Gmail for the baby before passing out again.

An hour or so later, I was awoken by our only visitor, Anna’s dad.

Said to our baby, “Pep, meet your first Boomer. They mean well.”

Anna’s dad had brought me a COVID test as I requested to make sure I wasn’t getting anyone sick. Scored myself a negative but later got scolded by Sherri. “DO NOT TAKE COVID TESTS, DADDY. I’LL HAVE TO KICK YOU OUT.”

Good to know.

Pop Paone informed us that the big news stories for the day were that Russia traded spies for Brittney Griner and Joe Manchin is coming around on climate change. Years later, when I tell Pep this, I’m sure she’ll be supremely bored.

The day I was born was the day of the 1988 All Star Game and I’ll always be the first to tell you that A’s catcher Terry Steinbach won the MVP that day. 

I love that fact. 

Highly doubt Pep will be excited to relay to anyone that Joe Manchin was still in office on her birth date.

Maybe though.

Opened the blinds and just like that, baby Pep widened her eyes for the first time. Guess the July light shining in from outside was overwhelming to her. It would be to me too.

Pep’s new grandpa left and Anna and I watched the very amateur, very mandatory shaken baby syndrome movie. The casting was off, the baby shaking barely believable. Shake it like you mean it guys!

Soon after we finished watching, my heart was warmed when I got to witness my baby’s first fart.

That’s my girl.

Around midnight, a doctor came to take Pep for her “24 hours of life” tests. What a way to end a bday. Anna and I watched closely from outside the operating room. We didn’t want them to mix up our baby.

To combat this from possibly happening, Pep and all the others were wearing multiple tracking devices. Yes, all newborns have little IDs on them to prevent mixups.

Bedtime.

Amazingly, the little one slept from 1-6. I think she even dabbed once or twice while passed out. Once again, that’s my girl.

We got up bleary eyed at 6 a.m. 

Sherri, amazingly still working, told us that because Anna and I have different last names, we would need our marriage license for the birth certificate, daddy. Of course, I didn’t bring the license. I didn’t end up picking it up that day either. There was no way I was leaving Anna behind. So, I stayed.

A new couple joined us.

Pep was officially no longer the youngest baby in the room, nor was I the only daddy.

This pair had had a much more traumatic experience than us. The woman underwent a C-section and her husband (maybe boyfriend but still daddy) was doing everything he could to ease the tension. He made innocent jokes like “I can’t wait to swaddle the baby. I’m pretty good at making burritos!”

She replied, “I think you should go to a hotel.”

Not reading the room, I butted in and made it worse saying, “Hey! If you guys put your baby at an incline in their bassinet they sleep better!”

Turns out their baby was in the NICU.

What I should have said was nothing.

Went back past our thin curtain and realized, yep, Pep is still the youngest baby in the room.

Realized how lucky I was and changed the background of my phone to cute baby Pep.

Finally, it was time to check out. I gathered all of our Trader Joe’s snacks, go bags and most importantly, baby.

Told Sherri as we left that she looked like Lisa Ann Walter. She dropped the thick accent and genuinely asked me, “Is she pretty, daddy?”

I said, “Uhh, yeah.”

The discharge was incredibly informal. They were like, “Peace, daddy” and I was all “Later, fam” and that was basically it.

Anna’s family picked us up and I nearly passed out in the elevator carrying Pep. I got weak. My knees shook.

Somehow, I was hit with a cosmic wave of energy. I realized, our baby will never need us as much as she did on day one and made it to the car like a champ.

40 minutes later, we were home.

We did it. We really did it.

POSTSCRIPT:

If you want to support me and Anna, there is one thing you can do that technically won’t cost you a cent.

All you have to do is IF you’re buying tickets on StubHub, Vivid Seats, Ticketmaster or SeatGeek for any event at all including NFL or NBA, just go to NJ.com/live-entertainment and access the site through one of the stories I’ve written. 

To reiterate, you don’t have to go to a concert, show or game I wrote about— simply using any link of mine will count and I’ll make $$$.

That’s it.

More on Pep pretty soon.

Love,

DADDY

How To Watch Someone Give Birth Stray Notes August 14, 2022

• My daughter, Pep (that’s her nickname), is now a little over two weeks old. Naturally, I think I’m an expert on parenting already.

Before I share my surefire parenting tips, tricks and observations though, I want to tell the story of her birth.

* By the way, baby Pep is napping now. I swear I’m not ignoring our baby.

OK, let’s begin.

Tuesday, July 26, 2022, 7 p.m.

Anna, our MVP and hero of this story, was due to give birth July 15. 

On this random Tuesday, 11 days removed from our initial due date, I made plans to go to the hip midtown restaurant IchiRan Ramen with Anna on Wednesday (July 27). 

The plan was to induce labor on Thursday (July 28). So, to treat ourselves we’d have one last fancy meal at a place the two of us had always wanted to try but kept putting off.

Baby Pep didn’t want us to have that dinner.

Labor began around 7 p.m. Tuesday night. Anna and I quickly got to work on exercises that would help speed up the process. For the next few hours, she bounced on a ball, curb-walked (one foot on a curb, one off) and had a scarf draped around her waist to help ease Pep out.

All of these things allegedly help soften the cervix for a smooth delivery.

I started playing Anna motivational speeches I heard on YouTube to pump her up as any dumb bro like myself might do. You know the type of speeches. They’re the ones where coaches bellow stuff like, “YOU HAVE IT WITHIN YOU. PUSH.” 

I set up a made-up Pavlovian system where I had Anna treat herself to a sip of lemonade every time she completed a minute-long contraction. 

(Note: I came up with a lot of made-up “systems.” Probably not for the best. You really should just do what your wife wants since she did all the pregnancy research after all).

Since things were slowly picking up at this time, we put our 9+ months of pregnancy preparation to good use. I set our go bags by the front door, showered and then put on a favorite shirt of mine with my Grandpa Glenn’s face on it.

Glenn was one of the first pediatricians in Arizona and actually had a young Steven Spielberg as a patient way back when. So, yes, my family is somewhat responsible for “E.T.”

At 10, poor Anna felt sharp pains, the contractions became more frequent, the squeezing of my hand tighter, and that’s when we knew it was time to start moving. We called our doula. Turns out she was at another birth. Plus, it was her own birthday. The life of a doula doesn’t offer any breaks.

Time for us to roll to the hospital.

Called our Uber driver Nisan who rolled the dice by accepting our ride— this is the trip every driver hates. They get paid the exact same amount they’d receive (plus a fat tip) for a normal ride but the stakes are stupid high.

We boarded Nisan’s Nissan and off we went. 

He hit every single yellow light.

In an effort to be cautious, he slowed to a neat stop even though there was no traffic for miles. Barf bag in hand, Anna didn’t complain once. 

I was expecting “Fast and the Furious” style theatrics but slow and steady worked too.

Within 20 minutes, the two of us arrived at our destination and Anna was in the pregnancy unit puking. The staff placed her in a triage room and had me wait in the lobby. Later, she told me they asked, “Does he beat you?” She said “No” but I wished she said, “Only at fantasy baseball.”

After a short wait, I was let into the triage room with Anna who had yet to receive an epidural and was undergoing some of the worst pain in her life. I put on her birthing playlist which had a surprising amount of Cake songs. We must have heard “Short Skirt, Long Jacket” five times on shuffle.

For the next few hours, I massaged and consoled her. At times, I was the only one there with Anna. It was genuinely surprising. Here she was dealing with earth shattering discomfort and the staff looked at me all annoyed when I asked if she could have more fluids since she wasn’t fully there.

This was the most alive and useful I’ve felt in years. 

Once I met the nurses and midwives, I understood why they didn’t help out as much as expected. They were all on 24-hour shifts and all had already delivered at least one baby today. Not a healthy system in my book. In fact, they were so tired they forgot to bring working pens and almost hit Anna’s head on every machine in the room when jostling her around.

I digress.

While they worked around the clock, our doula (who had arrived two hours late) knew that Anna was far from delivery so she peaced and said, “Get some sleep. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” The nurse smirked and said, “If that’s how you want to do it…” and she was out the door.

I sat on my chair and conked the eff out.

Wednesday, July 27, 7 a.m.

A nurse told me, “You know you could have reclined that chair you slept in, dude?”

Little late for that now.

Couldn't stay mad for too long though because there was breakfast waiting for me. Apparently, many partners pass out from not eating while women labor so the hospital makes sure to feed them.

The meal was made up of pancakes, scrambled eggs, a fruit cup and a sad sausage link. Anna was on fluids and couldn’t eat anything- in fact, sneaking a honey stick was a big deal. For me though, I was feasting on the world’s most average food that will most likely be marked up 700% (my friend Dylan Graham joked that “the eggs were out of network”).

While Anna labored, I filled out paperwork. Lots of legal documents essentially boiling down to “I am dad.” With each signature, my future as a father figure began to feel more real. 

At this point, we were 12 hours into a 29-hour labor.

So, I Wordle’d. Got “MOTTO” in six tries. I was pretty impressed with myself.

Poor, exhausted Anna got hooked up on an epidural (that’s the lab name for fentanyl, no joke) and nurses, students and midwives started entering more frequently to check on the hero of our story.

You could tell she was tired because she didn’t want to update her fantasy team. That’s a first. She’s crazy competitive and can’t stand not making sure all of her beloved Mets are in her lineup.

Back to the birth. 

Together we repeated a mantra: “I am strong, I am brave.” Each time things got difficult, these six words pulled us through.

Also, in chiller moments, I read her texts aloud to her and responded to them like I was her secretary. I imagine this is what being a Kardashian’s assistant is like.

Our backup doula showed because our real doula was still at home sleeping. This was her first time doula’ing. What she lacked in experience, she made up for with essential oil foot rubs. Clutch. Plus, she liked Trader Joe’s and we bonded over how money their orange chicken is. Affordable and tasty? It doesn’t make sense.

Anna’s water broke.

At this point, we’re still about 14 hours from birth.

Now, Anna’s real doula wanted to come. Only problem is “no more than two visitors in the operating room are allowed. Period.” So, our primary doula had to argue and fight with the head nurse to get herself in and her backup out.

They used my phone to conduct this debate.

After some arm twisting and cajoling, number one was back. 

She filled me in on what happens when baby is born. Apparently, a pediatrician swoops in and clears the baby’s lungs of meconium AKA baby poop. Yup, some of us are born with poop in our mouth. Life is strange.

Lunch time.

The staff generously delivered a salmon, brussel sprouts and farro plate. Much better than the Maruchan ramen I would have had at home. 

Anna then had the line of the day. She said, “they give Matt food and me drugs.”

Kid was in the worst pain of her life and still riffing. That’s why she’s my wife.

Our doula returned. She ate a loud chip-based lunch. Pretty sure she was playing Candy Crush too.

Passed out again.

When I woke up, we had Anna use a squat bar to push, push, push. At this point, about 20 hours deep, she was 8 CM dilated which means we’re finally getting really close. 

I chilled and read some emails.

Out of nowhere, midwives showed and put Anna on all fours to get the baby’s heart rate up. It was stressful, intense and heroic. Anna made it happen without feeling in her legs. 

Called Anna’s mom Catherine and choked up when I said it might be happening soon after clearing out the room for medical professionals. 

Our doula put Anna’s hair in a ponytail way better than I could have. That is not my area of expertise. Then Anna and I both started happy crying at the thought of lil Pep coming so soon. We’re excited, nervous, cheery and terrified. She led a prayer and recited her mantras. 

Nurses told us Anna will be pushing in no time. Now she needs to preserve energy. 

So, I fed Anna Jell-O and got a huge laugh when I did the classic “Here comes the airplane!” bit.

Our doula stole my comfortable seat and I brought her a granola bar to make her feel guilty. Nah, she kept the bar and the seat.

Inside Anna, baby’s heart rate rose and fell.

There was talk of C-Sections. Nurses also suggested pitocin, a painful drug that aids birth.

This was all mentally and physically taxing for poor Anna. Along with talks that the baby could have the umbilical cord tied around its neck (which is a very real semi-common thing), there was so much anxiety surrounding the most joyful moment of our lives that we had to tiptoe through it hoping for the best on every front.

I knew she was especially overwhelmed and wasn’t feeling well when Anna didn’t want to FaceTime her family. On our first date, she said something I’ll never forget, the immortal line, “I’m a big fan of my parents.” 

I’d never heard anyone say that before. To this day, she jumps at the chance to chat with them all hours of the day. Now that she didn’t have the energy to say hi meant she was truly drained. 

Had overcooked chicken parm for dinner in my recliner. All Anna had eaten today was bites of Jell-O and a few slurps of honey from that plastic stick which we snuck her.

Pretty sure I saw our doula playing Candy Crush again right around this time.

Just as I finished my last bites, the midwives rushed back in and let us know we’d finally made it to “push time.”

You know how when a football team is at the one-yard line and they hand the ball off to the running back who has to try and get through an entire defense?

Pushing is like that.

For three hours, midwives forced Anna to PUSH in three ten-second intervals to get her to the end zone.

At first, we didn’t have much success. Now we’d need pitocin which would theoretically put Anna in so much pain she would push properly.

She reluctantly agreed and minutes later, the excruciating pain washed over her.

I stood on the side of the bed holding her leg and propping her head up. Our midwife had nothing but notes for me. “Do it like this,” “What if you try this angle,” “Could you be better at this job that I just gave you that you have no experience in?”

It should be noted that at this point Anna had pretty much been totally naked in front of doctors, midwives, nurses, students, doulas and anyone else that had been in the room for over 24 hours.

As for me, I don’t even like taking my shirt off at the pool.

OK, back to the story.

Pitocin and pushing got us close. As we were nearing midnight, I wondered aloud, “What happens if we can see the baby’s head at 11:59 on July 27? Does that mean it’s born on the 27th or 28th?”

The midwife reassured me that you need to see the baby’s entire body for it to count as a birth.

We were getting down to the wire then. Would it be the 27th or 28th? This became my newest obsession as another doctor entered.

Up until this point, 28 hours in, we’d only had female midwives and nurses operate on Anna. She’d hired a midwife company that ensured this.

Yet, here was a male doctor who came in who “specialized in getting the job done.”

His technique was simple. He calmly said to Anna, “I’m going to put my fingers inside of you and I want you to get mad at me. Madder than you’ve ever been before.”

He was way too chill for someone to truly get mad at him I thought. A Gus Fring-like villain if you will.

Anyhow, it worked. Anna clutched a squat bar and pushed. Her face contorted and she really became the angriest she’d ever been after this stranger went in on her.

Thursday, July 28, 12 a.m.

July 28 came. We now knew our daughter’s birthday.

The lead midwife got harsher and meaner to demanding Anna “push better.”

In a hallucinatory state, Anna said, “The Pink Ladies are coming to town.” I wasn’t sure if this was a pregnancy term I missed in one of the many books I skimmed instead of fully reading but Anna later confirmed she was just talking nonsense which checks out because she was exhausted, starving and pushing a human being out of her.

Then, things started happening. A descent! The midwives got excited and wow, something was coming out of Anna! A head! A real head!

It didn’t look human-like at first.

Apparently, when babies are born, their heads are misshapen so what I saw was sort of meatloaf-looking.

All of a sudden, wow, a whole human baby emerged out of Anna.

She made it. Our baby existed. Anna did it. I ate chicken parm on a recliner. We got through to the other side.

Our midwife had me cut the umbilical cord with a pair of official looking scissors. The pediatrician weighed her and made sure she didn’t swallow any meconium in the womb.

I took her first photo ever and then it was time for Anna to hold baby Pep. Everything we’d been looking forward to for over nine months.

This was the most beautiful moment of our lives as Anna smiled and said to our baby, “I love you so much.”

To commemorate the joyous occasion, I played Frankie Valli’s “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You.” Kinda wish I went with “Welcome To The Black Parade” but there’s no going back now.

A nurse put a tracker on our Pep’s foot since they get mixed up and stolen all the time. Yep, also true.

Finally, it was my turn to do skin to skin with our baby.

Suddenly, it’s all real. I’m a dad. I’m a frickin’ dad.

Meanwhile, poor Anna had to give birth to the placenta after giving birth to the baby. Yep, that’s also a thing.

Out of curiosity, I asked the nurse “How much does placenta usually weigh?”

She didn’t know.

For being a leading hospital in the country, they sure didn’t know a lot of the basics.

Anyway, the answer is roughly 1.5 pounds.

As for Pep’s first moments, she barely cried. I looked at her and thought about how we already know this new human’s middle school she’ll attend in 2033.

I don’t know much anything else though. Who knows what’s coming next?

Well, I’ll tell you all about it soon.

Probably next week.

Either way, I think it’ll be a while before we eat at IchiRan Ramen.

• If you’re interested and want to get Baby Pep a gift, you can find the registry here

Comedy Stray Notes July 25, 2022

• Last week, I closed this newsletter with a touch of melancholy.

I wrote, “This may be the last Comedy Stray Notes for quite some time. Let’s call it a farewell for a short while” since Anna was due any day.

Damn, that was sappy.

Anyway, at the time of publication today, she’s still due at any time. For now, we’re playing the increasingly exciting waiting game where we wake up every morning thinking “Is today the most memorable day of my life and a date I’ll remember forever” or “just another Wednesday?”

We’ll find out soon enough.

Either way, please send all unsolicited advice my way and definitely not to Anna.

I digress.

With all that being said, since there’s no baby yet, I’m writing another goofy, overly indulgent newsletter on one of my last days of pre-dad life.

Here goes nothing, m’friend:

• Even though Anna is mad preggy, she’s still a great sport and willing to participate in spur of the moment TikToks I dream up.

This past month, we’ve filmed a few and put two goofy ones online. 

The first one we dropped “How My Wife Wordles” is probably the most spontaneous comedic lightning in a bottle I’ve ever filmed. Making fun of Anna’s silly attempts at five-letter words got funnier and funnier as she continued to throw out guesses that weren’t even close to being right. Wordling ain’t easy and everyone has a different process but it’s awfully funny to see the mental hoops people jump through to land on the right answer.

Plus, the thing is only 40 seconds long. You can’t argue with that. You’re already here. Just do it. Or else you’re denying a pregnant woman views and you wouldn’t want to do that, would you, you monster?

Our second ‘Tok sees Anna auditioning for the role of “woman” in an unnamed movie. What monologue does she deliver? Honestly, that’s the whole bit. BUT if you’ve been to a movie theater in the past year or so, I think you’ll appreciate the joke. 

• Every week, I try to check out a new podcast. At this one new podcast a week rate, I’ll get around to all the new pods from the 2020s by 2065 or so. Not bad.

This time around, I peeped Myq Kaplan’s upbeat “Broccoli and Ice Cream” where he interviews comics about the work or “broccoli” in their careers to get to their joys or “ice cream.”

In the 40-minute episode I listened to, he spoke candidly with Steel City Arts Foundation founder and long-time comic Steve Hofstetter.

The two make for an odd yet intriguing pair. They have completely different comic energies. Kaplan casually spouts off the most impressive, whimsical wordplay you’ve ever heard while on the other pole, Hofstetter effortlessly lists brilliant, shrewd ideas that could maximize one’s comedic potential.

Over the course of the short show, Hofstetter let loose a few of these wise nuggets that I couldn’t believe I got to hear for free. Specifically, his proclamation that “even the most original comics are hacks when it comes to promotion” struck a real chord. Everyone DOES replicate whatever everyone who is successful does on social media. Never thought of that. Instead, by spending as much time brainstorming how to get your content out into the world as you spend on the content itself, you get a leg up on the competition.

Hofstetter, who compared his career to being on an island (running a mini comedy empire) with an occasional visit to the mainland (touring at traditional clubs), may have a reputation for being a bit of a polarizing comedic figure — hell, in this episode he straight up says he told his mom that a premise she tried out on him was hack — but he is a fascinating free thinker. This is the rare instance where the “broccoli” that Myq digs through is more fun than the ice cream.

Great listen. Highly recommended.

• One of the greatest benefits of waiting for baby is that our version of twiddling our thumbs is continually catching up on movies and TV. Well, at least that’s what I tell myself.

Here’s everything I peeped over the last seven days.

“Nope” (2022): For many, including myself, this was the most anticipated movie of the year.

It makes sense too. After “Get Out,” each Jordan Peele release has become the equivalent of a full-on cinematic holiday as he has since crossed over to modern auteur status reserved for the likes of Tarantino, Scorsese, Wes Anderson, PT Anderson and Greta Gerwig (Safdie Brothers, Taika and Spielberg may qualify too).

Full disclosure, Peele’s second feature, “Us,” blew me away. Most fans were mixed after the zeitgeist-y “Get Out” but I thought it was a fascinating meditation on society’s “haves” and “have nots” chock full of Easter eggs, subtext and food for thought.

Now, three years later, the more straightforward “Nope” is certainly more crowd-pleasing, more chock full of spectacle and more unabashedly fun even with its surprisingly heavy central thesis that “humans truly can’t tame anything other than humans unless there’s a true connection.” However, it rang a bit hollow compared to his first two features for me. I’d argue that that’s because “Nope” had a disjointed, shaggier “let’s see if all these cool ideas stick” vibe than its tightly plotted predecessors.

Less of a horror film- although not without its surreal scares- and more of a sci-fi flick in the vein of “Close Encounters of the Third Kind,” “Nope” follows sibling horse wranglers Em (Keke Palmer, knock your socks off charming) and O.J. (Daniel Kaluuya, something huge has to happen to get a facial expression out of him) on their ranch following a failed movie set gig where one of their equines kicked a crew member after being spooked.

Out of work and with tight funds, the two pin all their hopes on making money from “the impossible shot” of a strange cumulus phenomena happening above their grounds. With the help of a Fry’s Electronics installation expert who's also going through a breakup, they see a _____ (redacted for spoiler reasons) that ______ (come on, you think I’m going to tell you?).

REAL SPOILERS FOLLOW.

Rather than run to the city, the trio unwisely decide to stay behind and capture this elusive, untameable image on film using horses and motorcycles AKA every special skill an actor has at the bottom of their resume.

It was at precisely this moment that this fairly standard but well-made alien picture lost me. Heck, I even went along for the “let’s go viral on Oprah!” story line that is becoming such a screenwriting shorthand that I’d call it the ultimate “2022 hack.” Yet, the true moment I checked out was when our heroes, who could have easily led themselves to safety and completely avoided this classic “Man V. Otherworldly Nature” conflict, willingly chose to participate and risk it all. This isn’t horror or sci-fi, it’s silly. Hard to root for characters that seek out danger.

Although the third act was a bit far-fetched for my liking, I’d like to make it clear that Peele hasn’t completely lost his Midas touch.  A subplot of sorts revolving around a fictional ‘90s sitcom called “Gordy’s Home” starring a chimp was far more disturbing, engaging and comic than our A story. In fact, in a perfect world, “Nope” would have been all about the terrifying isolated incident that took place on this sitcom set and the trauma it caused its child stars.

Final verdict: Absolutely see this movie in theaters to a) add to the discourse and b) keep original voices on the big screen. “Nope” may resemble a string of disparate ideas more so than a cohesive whole, but when it works, it’s crackerjack. When it doesn’t, the spectacle is still there. You just need to suspend disbelief and go along for the ride. Once again, can’t wait to see what Peele brings to the table next time around (In theaters all over the country).

*Kudos to Peele for the made-up SNL reference around the 30-minute mark. My comedy nerd heart skipped a beat. I’m sure Chris Kattan’s did too.

**The diegetic song switch at the wild west town where Steven Yeun points to his sound guy to click over to the next track was a top-notch nod to the awkwardness of live performance. 

“Ape” (2012): If you’ve got a movie rec for me, let me know. I’ll watch. This past week, my pal Jake Kaye suggested I check out Criterion’s movie about a young pyromaniac stand up comic.

Couldn’t say no to that one.

Coming in at a swift 86 minutes, “Ape” is really a commentary on the futility of stand up comedy. How doing the same bits over and over rather than getting a job is a choice that attracts potentially dangerous people and not necessarily a calling.

Our humdrum story follows Trevor, a 25-year-old dead end comic who has increasingly bizarre visions offstage that affect his mental state. When he’s a bit more lucid, Trevor works on his material sparingly and spends most of his time doing whatever he pleases. Of course, he still feels slighted when the club, where he recites the same jokes nightly, decides he shouldn’t perform there anymore.

Relatable!

This is one of those rare movies that “sort of” gets stand up right. There is a lot of resentment, bitterness, repetition and mediocrity simmering at the fringes of the medium. In “Ape,” one might wonder why this club keeps putting up these awful comics night after night but sometimes that’s just how it is. Thus, it’s refreshing to see merely below average comedy portrayed realistically rather than “masterful'' or “out and out” bad which is usually the route movies and TV go down.

Final verdict: More cringe-y than funny, “Ape” is not for everyone. However, if you’ve ever had a below average set of comedy performing knock off Steven Wright one-liners you might find this scrappy, low budget indie endearing.

Otherwise, you’ll probably want to stay away from “Ape.” When the protagonist becomes unbearably violent, the movie crosses a line and becomes hard to watch.

“The Bubble” (2022): Remember when everyone said, “Don’t make a pandemic movie. It’ll age horribly”? This is why.

Judd Apatow attempted the impossible and tried to make a showbiz satire about action stars quarantining prior to filming a fictional tentpole franchise picture called “Cliff Beasts 6.” As noble as this experiment was, the jokes have gone from relevant to groan-worthy in just the two years since quarantining was a thing.

Having assembled a cast of ringers (Fred Armisen, David Duchovny, Leslie Mann of course, Karen Gillan, Keegan Michael-Key, Maria Bakalova, Kate McKinnon, Pedro Pascal, Iris Apatow of course and many, many more), you’d think that Apatow could wring a solid comedy out of these winning players. At times, he does. The poorly reviewed fake film starring Karen Gillan’s pretentious movie star character where Israel and Palestine come together to fight aliens is inspired. As is another gag where a group of actors watch YouTube tutorials mid-air to learn how to fly a helicopter. Heck, I even liked a sped-up, time-lapsed quarantine sequence quite a bit.

Yet “The Bubble” sags under its lifeless plot where we’re asked to sympathize with actors who are given the world in this remote castle but still act entitled and attempt to escape at every turn. Even if it’s supposed to be “funny,” it’s not easy to empathize with people who have it better than you.

Final verdict: As much as I wanted to like this meta movie, the weightless jokes about coughing on people and insufferable characters burst “The Bubble” for me. Sure, there’s a beating heart and glee to the movie but it only comes in small doses (Streaming on Netflix).

“The Kids In The Hall” season six (2022): Seemingly out of nowhere, the “Kids” are back for a surprise sixth season on Amazon. Heck, hearing the theme song alone made me feel all warm and fuzzy.

It’s great to see the gang back together in their advanced age too. Rather than serve as a cash grab victory lap, the five hit incredible highs in this eight-episode run showing no reservations about baring it all, donning drag, addressing how out of touch they are and mocking their previous work.

Chock full of laugh out loud highlights like McKinney’s Lorne Michaels, jabs at their ill-fated “Brain Candy” movie being stuck in garage sale hell, this may be the best reboot I’ve seen ever.

Don’t get me wrong- the series is far from perfect (I say this in everything I review). After a strong start to the season, a few episodes in the middle of the run don’t hit the high highs that kickstarted the reboot even if it’s easy to find at least a small detail to love in every sketch. 

I’d diagnose the sketches that aren’t quite at the same level as being guilty of asking the audience to do too much mental math or simply being too random (the iPad charging sketch from episode two comes to mind) to truly just sit back and laugh. Comedy at its best is simple. Yes, make us think but not wrack our brains.

Still, there’s so much good, self-referential stuff (a pawn shop selling Kevin McDonald DVDs and the fourth wall breaking final sketch of the season roasting Gen Z’ers viewing habits are aces) here that it’s silly to dwell on what doesn’t work.

A few standouts include the intentionally navel gazing “last fax ever sent” which serves as a metaphor for the group being left out of the cultural conversation, the brilliant “Super Drunk” about a hero that can only fight while inebriated (started as a simple joke where a young girl asks her dad if he drinks builds into a full-blown superhero movie complete with Marvel comic panels) and the always escalating set piece about a guy who just wants to take a bath while complaining to customer service that his tub water never got “Hot hot. Just lukewarm.”

At times, this season was so meta, so good and so with it, that I got comedy chills. Not an easy feat. Occasionally, the gang will slip in a random pop culture reference that’s so off-game but somehow mocking and zeitgeist-y that it saves everything that came before that didn’t work. That’s a lot of what this show is. Brilliantly executed small moments.

Final verdict: Essentially a comedy about dads for their kids, “KITH” hasn’t lost a step. I can’t wait to see them satirize what it’s like to be 70, 80 and 90 in the coming years (Streaming on Amazon).

* Pete Davidson, Kenan Thompson, Mark Hamill, Will Forte and many more celebrities make brief remote cameos. They honestly add almost nothing to the series other than the fact that promotional materials can say all these huge stars appear. Honestly, it’s kind of a genius marketing trick. 

*In addition to the eight-episode block, Amazon also released a two-part documentary about the Kids that is a fantastic companion piece to the show. Tracking the group’s formation in the early ‘80s to where they are now, it’s a complete warts and all picture— including a story about how they sued Dave Foley in the mid ‘90s — that only makes this new season better.

“Pam and Tommy” (2022): If the return of the “Kids In The Hall” wasn’t ‘90s enough for you, might I suggest the slick, re-enactment of the drama surrounding the world’s most famous sex tape?

Full of attention to era-appropriate detail like no one knowing what the internet is, this occasionally overly preachy but ultimately entertaining single-season yarn spinner posits the tale of “that VHS” as many different things. While the tape represents many things ranging from revenge to love to technological evolution, the series itself is just as multi-faceted. “Pam and Tommy” is the redemption story of Tommy Lee’s disgruntled contractor (Seth Rogen, mulleted) who gets in over his head stealing the tape without realizing the repercussions or having the foresight of how to profit off of this thing right as the internet takes form. “Pam and Tommy” is also the story of wholesome Pam and “so awesomely awful you can’t look away” Tommy’s rocky relationship from its odd beginnings where Lee stalked Pam all the way to Mexico to its end where they can’t see eye to eye on how to handle the tape once it becomes national news.

Along the way, there are quite a few inspired detours. Andrew Dice Clay, Nick Offerman, Taylor Schilling and Brian Huskey all get roped into Rogen’s scheme in one way or another. Pam and Tommy duet to “Getting To Know You.” An episode chronicling Anderson’s rise from a normal girl to the most famous face in the world. Uncanny valley Jay Leno interviewing Pam. While the series may be a bit short on out and out plot, many of these delights more than make up for what the series lacks in the story department.

Final verdict: “Pam and Tommy” is a treatise on ownership in the internet age. Before we had NFTs (lol), it was difficult to define or control who owned rights to property (and certainly still is). This central conflict keeps the motor of this always entertaining, easily digestible series running at a healthy clip (Streaming on Hulu).

* Did you know Pamela Anderson lost out on roles in both “L.A. Confidential” and the first “Austin Powers?” I didn’t.

“George Carlin’s American Dream” (2022): Yep, Judd Apatow directed TWO movies this year.

“American Dream,” his stylish four-hour love letter to George Carlin is a zippy, politically-fueled, angry as hell tip of the cap to one of the greatest stand up comedians and thinkers to ever perform. 

It’s far superior to “The Bubble.”

Apatow and his co-director Michael Bonfiglio leave no stone unturned and showcase early clips from Carlin’s straitlaced suited up days to his time as the hippy dippy weatherman all the way to his latter day prophet years when he commented on gun regulation, vaccines (?!), censorship, religion and every other hot button issue that’s never left the cultural conversation.

That’s not all though. This two-part romp isn’t just nonstop Carlin praise. No, the viewer also gets a helpful heaping of honest to goodness truth about this complicated man whose father passed when he was eight. Carlin’s rough and tumble childhood clearly had an effect on him as he later retreated inward and became a cynical introvert who loved to write. In the movie’s most damning section, we learn he occasionally neglected his wife and daughter. One particularly harrowing scene about his wife on her deathbed shook me. Who knew a man known for such thoughtful comedy could be so selfish?

Final verdict: Ultimately, “American Dream” is supremely funny, tragic and entertaining all at once. Just like great comedy should be (Streaming on HBO Max).

*Looking for a shortcut to catch clips of classic comedians you’ve never seen? This is the gateway. Rather than going down a YouTube rabbit hole, this doc will treat you to Danny Kaye, Nichols and May, Lenny Bruce and Richard Pryor footage. It’s Comedy 101, a can’t miss for any true geek of the form with gaps in their history of the form.

• Finally, your moment of zen. 

Dana Carvey took over hosting duties for Jimmy Kimmel last week and interviewed old Quentin Tarantino who was on the show to plug his new podcast with Roger Avary. 

In their 20 minutes together, these Gen X icons geeked out over video stores (Tarantino shared he was hired BECAUSE he was a walking film encyclopedia), zombies and best of all, Carvey acted out large swaths of “Once Upon A Time In Hollywood.” If you’re a fan of either of these aging talents, their interview here is a blast.

OK, that should be it for a while. I think. Pretty sure

Comedy Stray Notes July 18, 2022

• According to Amplifi Media dot com (a maybe legit source?), 26% of all podcasts only produce one episode.

Then, vamoose, they disappear into the ether.

After I heard that stat a few months back, I vowed to finish episode two of my podcast “Unmade Dream Projects,” so I would be a different statistic- one of a large number of podcasts with TWO episodes.

So, I did the dang thing and after countless bleary-eyed, early mornings editing and soundtracking, I finally finished episode two of m’pod.

And I’m happy to report it’s pretty damn good.

I just can’t hide the fact that I’m proud of the thing- I like it a lot.

If you’re not familiar with “Unmade Dream Projects,” the show’s name is pretty on the nose. Essentially, the podcast is a collection of all the unproduced screenplays, pilots, sketches and other ephemera that I’ve written over the years reimagined in podcast format. Sure, it’s not the original vision but at least now the idea doesn’t exist as just a PDF. Now, it can be listened to on anyone’s drive to work and that to me is a win.

In this second episode, titled “1980-81: The Lost Season,” I had a talented voice cast act out my stage play about the alleged worst season in SNL history. After having listened to said podcast dozens of times while fine-tuning the audio, I can safely say, they’re all great. In fact, I have yet to get bored listening to their interpretations of my script which is about the highest compliment any editor can pay.

That talented voice cast is made up Lauren Vino (playing Jean Doumanian), Michael Margetis (Dick Ebersole), Lawrence Paone (Fred Silverman), Neko White (Eddie Murphy), Jeff Ayars (Don Pardo), Anna Paone (Denny Dillon, Charlene Tilton, Robin Duke, Gail Matthius, Catherine O’Hara, Ann Risley AND Laurie Metcalfe), Gianmarco Soresi (Charles Rocket, Mr. Bill, Tim Kazurinsky), Steve Girard (Gilbert Gottfried, Chevy Chase, Lorne Michaels), Joey Saunders (Joe Piscopo, Michael O’Donoghue) and Dave Columbo (Jim Carrey, Pee Wee Herman, Elliott Gould, Del Close, Al Franken, Tony Rosato) all with stage directions by Usama Siddiquee.

The episode is 82ish minutes and a dang good time in my book. 

I’d recommend listening. If you do, there just might be an episode three.

• It’s always a pleasant surprise to find out that a comic has skills outside of slinging jokes into a microphone.

Comedian Geoffrey Krawczyk is one of those pleasant surprises.

Now stationed in Berlin, Geoffrey is currently hard at work on his ambitious, pulpy “Erotech or Do Androids Dream of Electric Sex” comic book series that he illustrates. Featuring an eye-popping, “Mad Men” era erotic aesthetic, Geoffrey and his collaborators have put together a very funny new vision steeped in the past.

I’m not here to brag too much (who are we kidding, yes, I am) but I’ve had the pleasure of peeping some advance panels and I can guarantee that fans of modern, droll office humor mixed with outrageous sexuality — “Erotech” is about a company that creates sex robots — delivers.

Clever lines from the sex robot tester like, “I’m, like, the lowest paid employee at the company! I make less than tech support and it’s my d— on the line!” give “Erotech” the perfect mix of raunchy camp and genuine workplace drama. And that’s just scratching the surface.

Make sure to check out the comic’s thorough Kickstarter and donate a shekel or two so you can get in on the ground floor. You’ll thank me later once your first issue arrives at your doorstep or inbox.

• A great comedy trailer has to accomplish a lot in 90-120 seconds.

In that short span, an editor needs to tell us the movie’s story BUT not give away too much, introduce us to the tone and show off the best jokes BUT make sure there’s still a lot of great stuff left for the actual movie.

That’s not easy.

However, Tynan Delong and Colin Fitzgerald’s trailer for their upcoming feature “Dad and Step Dad” makes this heavy task look like a breeze. Their off-kilter, intentionally stilted style milks laughs from understated, bone dry gags where wholesome nerds hurl harmless insults at one another like “You’ve got nothing goin’ on up there!”

The creative team has created something wholly unique- by embracing normcore culture so deeply, they’ve come out on the other side and created something squarely avant garde. 

“Dad and Step Dad” looks like a true comic treat and I can’t wait to see the whole thing.

• The YouTube comedy special boom has produced an embarrassment of riches for stand up fans. Every single day, comics are throwing their hours on the platform and showing off their skill set hoping that folks stumble upon their work.

I’m a known stumbler and the most recent special I clicked on, David Drake’s introspective, insightful and often hysterical “Oh No!” was a true delight.

For 75 minutes, Drake knowingly doles out intrusive thoughts and then chases them to their humorous, logical conclusions. I mean, how could you not love a special with a joke about how “Cigarettes can kill you” should be the tobacco industry’s slogan? Or how “if evolution is so great, why are mid-level account managers?” Or how it’s considered a miracle every time we avoid plane crashes?

Carlin-esque.

When he’s not taking the dark route, David covers moments in life that are so small, you would have never even thought to mine it for humor. I particularly loved his take on running out of things to talk about with a significant other. When this momentary lapse takes place, he blurts out to his wife, “My friend has that watch.”

That’s one of those jokes that’s so good, you can’t even be mad you didn’t think of it. You just sit back and appreciate. 

“Oh No!” begins with David setting up chairs at Brooklyn’s Gutter showroom and he closes the show doing the same. It’s a humble act that shows that no matter how great your material may be, at a certain level, you have to produce yourself. Midway through the act, there’s a fantastic chunk about how “life is what happens in between chores.” Here, great comedy specials are what happens in between chores.

• Writer’s block coupled with the success of friends is the bane of any filmmaker’s existence.

You’re struggling to come up with an idea for your pilot? Oh, well, good news. Your friend just filmed theirs and got into Sundance. Enjoy racking your brain!

This relatable concept is played for laughs in the upcoming eight-episode series “Stuck In Development.” Created by the production company, Buffalo 8, the series follows young screenwriter/former life coach Jared, who can’t seem to get out of a creative rut. Meanwhile, his entrepreneur and actor friends completely have their lives together. Or, if they don’t, they posture and grandstand pretending to.

As a result, our flailing hero does everything he can to get ahead. Jared attends networking parties and tries out method acting before he gives in and starts binging TV as well as developing poor eyesight.

However, what I’d like to shine a light on more than anything in the series is its second episode where our hero’s go-getter friends discover their pal has been watching…adult films on his laptop.

Rather than write it off as a single joke, this installment zeroes in on Jared’s time-wasting activity. His sympathetic yet overly productive bros hilariously critique his watching habits in practical and pragmatic ways rather than judging him. These six minutes are a breath of fresh air— a refreshing, postmodern take on masculinity.

So, if you’re in a rut and looking for a series where the lead is going through the same thing, “Stuck In Development” will be released July 25 on Apple TV/iTunes, Google, Vudu, and Amazon.

Give it a chance. “Stuck In Development” just might inspire you to dust off the old Moleskine or Final Draft and start getting your ideas on paper again.

• When I was a kid, the humor section at bookstores were made up of joke books, essay collections and funny novels.

Nowadays, it’s all comedic memoirs. This isn’t a bad thing, it’s just a new thing. Many of these books are thoughtful, honest and sprinkle in a chuckle or two for readers who want a look behind the curtain of their favorite performers and writers.

Yet, some are more than obvious cash grabs.

That was certainly the case with Bob Odenkirk’s hollow Comedy Comedy Comedy Drama a book mostly bereft of substance, insight or wit (which I was surprised to find had an editor in the acknowledgements section- the book’s greatest twist).

And that’s me being generous. 

Over the course of 304 pages, Odenkirk glosses over his life story without ever truly giving any subject the thought or care it deserves. It’s all broad strokes. While reading, one gets the impression that Odenkirk simply scrolled through his IMDb and either said “everyone was great to work with” or “that was a difficult set.”

I could only wonder the whole time, “Is the life of one of our most successful sketch writers and actors really this surface level?”

If this book where he “pours his heart out” is any indication, the answer is a resounding yes.

Plus, he often does the thing where he’ll allude to a story like “how Al Franken helped me at ‘Saturday Night Live’” and then never return to the subject. It just lingers. The reader is clearly an afterthought here- if an idea is in Odenkirk’s brain, that’s enough for him. Doesn’t matter if it makes the page here.

Even more frustratingly, “CCCD” illustrates just how often Odenkirk has failed upwards in his life. Whether it was his confrontational meeting with Lorne Michaels that led to a job or barely preparing for his role as Saul Goodman (which admittedly does lead to some of its charm), his sort of half-assed approach to life seems to always work in his favor.

You may argue that he’s had his fair share of lows- failed pilots, “Mr. Show” having its time slot moved, movies that never got made- but the difference is he actually got paid for all of these projects. It’s hard to feel bad for someone when their lowest low comes with a fat paycheck.

Yes, I will admit there are a few valuable tidbits here and there. I did enjoy learning that the “Mr. Show” writer’s room’s strategy was to “milk the best line of a first draft of a sketch to get the most juice out of it they can” (milk and juice is quite a mixed metaphor) and his definition of nuance which is “your character being caught by the camera in a moment, and that the life we are catching a glimpse of is somehow greater than that moment.”

In the hands of a better writer, this would have been a fantastic memoir. 

But it’s not.

While reading, I couldn’t believe the gall Odenkirk had to just list his favorite Monty Python sketches rather than tell us what made each of them great. In fact, I’m still torn up by that bit of sheer laziness. Or when he shares emails that his friends wrote without carefully weaving them into the narrative.

This wasn’t a book or memoir. It’s a long journal entry.

• Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, here are some movie reviews that will skew slightly more positive.

“Bob’s Burgers: The Movie” (2022): This review comes with a disclaimer. I am a fair weather “Bob’s Burgers” fan. I’ve watched episodes here and there so the characters are familiar but not all-time favorites.

After seeing this fantastical, self-referential, musical, crime caper “whodunit” family comedy populated by colorful carnies, that all changes.

This small screen to silver screen adaptation swiftly makes the jump to feature length with a four-pronged story worthy of the multiplex. 

The movie’s central conflict is laid out early on. Bob’s burger shop is about to be foreclosed on unless they hit some ridiculous financial goal within seven days. You know, classic story. This is exacerbated by the fact that a giant sinkhole spontaneously combusts right in front of the storefront. Conflict, stakes, man versus nature, it’s all there.

Yet, there’s much, much more hiding in that sinkhole. I’ll leave it at that. Why give away the movie’s most surprising moments here when you could see them yourself? That’d be crazy.

Outside of the central conflict, the eldest daughter Tina fantasizes about a summer boyfriend while middle child Gene daydreams about rock stardom and youngest daughter Louise is triggered whenever someone calls her a baby. 

Giving credit where it’s due: The creative team really packs in a heck of a lot of story.

What truly makes this movie special though are the wall to wall goofy jokes. Whether its punny signage or Gene responding to someone asking if he should be “at that place with adults” and books” with “The adult bookstore?” instead of “The library?” there are many, many laughs to be had.

Final verdict: Big-hearted and painting on a larger canvas suits “Bob’s Burgers” well. This movie is proof that six seasons (they’ve actually had a whopping 12 seasons)  and a movie can work out quite well (Streaming on HBO Max and Hulu).

“Body Heat” (1981): Straight up steamy. William Hurt and Kathleen Turner’s summer flirtation turns into a torrid love affair then murderous con job, double crossing all followed by an explosive finale.

Writer/director Lawrence Kasdan (who was just coming off co-writing “The Empire Strikes Back”) expertly ratchets up the stakes over the course of this anxiety-inducing picture that kept me on the edge of my seat. When I expect the flick to hit one story beat, they often went in a totally unexpected direction.

One scene in particular really got to the heart of this matter. It’s your classic “cheating wife” runs into her paramour while out at dinner with her spouse and pretends not to know him. Rather than have the husband say, “Who was that, honey?” he invites Hurt to the table and unknowingly bonds with him.

Now, that’s screenwriting. By taking a well-trod convention and twisting it up into something brand new, you completely envelop your viewer. That’s all we want.

Final verdict: All of the above plus extended cameos from a young Ted Danson and Mickey Rourke make for a fine picture. When I was in film school, “Body Heat” was often used as an example of exceptional editing. Those examples were certainly right- they just left out how great of an all-around film it is too (Streaming on Criterion; there are free two-week trials). 

“Hustle” (2022): It’s pretty rare that my entire family recommends a movie to me. We all have disparate tastes but this one seemed to hit my dad’s and bro’s sweet spots. 

Points to them- they’re mostly right about this inspirational Adam Sandler starrer.

“Hustle,” while overlong (the third act where they “have to go viral to get in the draft!” filmed by the misunderstood daughter that wants to go to film school is particularly painful), is a mostly winning “basketball scout puts it all on the line for an unknown talent” comedy drama that follows Sandler taking a kid he spotted dominating a pickup game in Spain all the way to the NBA (major complaint: Sandler is a scout that travels all over the world and only speaks English/doesn’t bring along a translator?).

Where the movie truly excels though are its cinematic training montage sequences that don’t feel like the cookie cutter “you can fast forward through this scene and still know what’s happening” segments we’ve become used to. Instead, director Jeremiah Zagar films from new angles like below the court and from the perspective of a bounce pass. Don’t tell me that’s not cool. It’s cool.

Plus, I was surprised to find that “Hustle” actually has something to say. This Netflix sports drama isn’t just about “trying your hardest.” No, the film also blows the whistle on stubborn bosses and trust fund kids (here it’s Ben Foster chewing scenery as Robert Duvall’s son) that inherit their parent’s companies, the movie also fixates on Sandler’s poor eating habits. He brings Wendy’s on a plane. For those three minor diversions, this is worth the stream alone.

In addition to Sandler, there are fun turns from Queen Latifah as his critical wife, an underused Heidi Gardner as Foster’s brother but roots for Sandler and frickin’ Boban Marjanovic pretending to be 22 in the movie’s best joke. 

It’s also kind of funny that they’re billing Trae Young as one of the actors “starring” in the movie considering he’s barely in it.

There’s a lot to like even if the stakes are a little too low and the movie a little too long.

Final verdict: The rare sports film that’s actually inspirational. Since I saw this movie three weeks ago, I’ve started hooping at the park on a regular basis. That’s more than I can say for any other movie I’ve seen this year (Streaming on Netflix).

“True Stories” (1986): The fact that there’s a movie David Byrne directed at the height of his powers is very exciting.

Sadly, the concept is better on paper than execution.

This modest, nutty, Texas-based, music-doc-narrative thingamajig starring John Goodman and Swoosie Kurstz (?!) is abstract and compelling in small bursts but ultimately is missing a bit of oomph to push it over into the entertaining column.

Instead, we’re left with an odd curio filled with impromptu songs and observations from Byrne about land developers where he plainly states “imagine seeing a field and saying, ‘I’d like a bathroom there.’” 

Thus, it’s a bit too meandering and devoid of story or purpose for me to really recommend “True Stories” but I would argue that its fingerprints have been left on a lot of great pop culture that made up the early ‘90s. The blueprint for “This American Life” and Richard Linklater’s “Slacker” are all here.

It should also be noted that a song from the film includes the lyric “Radiohead” which allegedly was the inspiration for Thom Yorke and co.

Just like how “Hustle” inspired me. Don’t think my basketball career will turn into anything on Radiohead’s level though.

Final verdict: Gotta give props where they’re due- “True Stories” is unlike any movie I’ve ever seen. That doesn’t mean it’s great but it is ultimately worth seeking out if you’re a Byrne fan. This very well could end up becoming your favorite thing; just wasn’t totally my cup of tea (Streaming on Amazon Prime for $3.99).

• Final shouts here:

- Ali Siddiq’s new sit down special “The Domino Effect” compares and contrasts parenting styles from mom and dads so well that I often found myself laughing out loud. Needless to say, dads are worse. When pops is in charge, your life consists of a lot of cheap cereal and accidentally wearing thongs to school. Not your experience? Not mine either. Still, check out Siddiq’s special. It’s hysterical and the rare hour where the comic earns the right to sit on the stool without it being annoying.

BONUS: The bit about how “there are no good Willies” is one of my favorites I’ve heard all year.

Thanks to Ja-Ron Young for the tip; this is a helluva hour.

- Did ya catch that Woody Allen was promoting his new book on Alec Baldwin’s Instagram Live?

For 55 long minutes, the two problematic elder statesmen aimlessly complained about phones, modern technology and how they wished people still saw movies in theaters. Of course, neither mention their troubled pasts.

The true highlight here though is watching the two run into wifi problems. Best of all, Baldwin doesn’t turn off the camera while dealing with them. Instead, he yells at his maid in Spanish offscreen. It’s cringy, comic gold. 

In terms of the actual conversation, there are a few interesting nuggets. Woody casually doesn’t react to any of Baldwin’s attempts at humor which I loved. Instead, the 86-year-old director/comic nonchalantly brags that he “could write before he could read” and mentions how much he would have loved to direct W.C. Fields and the Marx Brothers.

Truly oblivious, this chat is perfect, unintentional anti-comedy.

• Actually, I take that back. Perfect, unintentional anti-comedy is Jake Novak.

Don’t know the name?

Novak, an aspiring actor/singer, recently dropped a “so bad it’s transcendent” TikTok about how he wants to get on SNL.

“What’s so bad about that?” you ask.

“Aren’t you the ultimate SNL nerd, Levy? You’ve mentioned it like 50 times here already.”

Yeah, you’re right.

Still, I’ve never done anything that’s quite as cloying or painfully in your face as his “I Wanna Be The Next SNL Star” rap. It’s a gloriously tone deaf attempt at “making that one viral video that will propel you to the top of the showbiz ladder” and totally worth a watch- your jaw will go slack in disbelief that someone could make something so shameless without a trace of irony.

Fingers crossed the show hires him. Dude really makes me laugh. Heck, he might even be a comedic genius getting one over on us.

• For those of you who have made it this far, I come bearing bittersweet news.

This may be the last comedy stray notes for quite some time.

My wife, Anna, as you may recall, is pregnant. She is due any day now.

It isn't really fair for me to devote a good three-four hours a week to writing a newsletter when I could be spending time with my wife and newborn. No idea how long I’ll be on hiatus but I’ll be back.

Heck, there might even be Baby Stray Notes.

For now though, this is farewell for a short while.

Until we meet again

Comedy Stray Notes July 11, 2022

• In May 1990, a bevy of legendary SNL writers— Lorne Michaels, Robert Smigel, Conan O’Brien, Greg Daniels, Al Franken (sorry), Tom Davis, George Meyer, Bonnie Turner and Terry Turner— completed a draft of “Saturday Night Live: The Movie.”

If you’re like me, you’re probably saying, “Wait, what? This exists?”

Well, the screenplay does. The movie, unfortunately, does not.

Through a confluence of events, I got my hands on a draft of the script a few weeks ago courtesy of the Yale Library who had a copy stored away in Tom Davis’ archive of unfinished projects (a true treasure trove for comedy fans).

Rather than devouring the 135-page screenplay alone in my apartment, I decided to reach out to fellow comedy nerds and hold a reading of this lost tome over an ancient form of communication known as Zoom (if you’re like, “Hey, you didn’t reach out to me!”- check out the last Comedy Stray Notes. There was an open call at the end to take part in this reading for the real ones who got that far).

So, on Sunday, July 10, with the help of over 20 friends- Anna Paone, Sam Zelitch, Courtenay Cholovich, Tom Scudamore, Matt Storrs, Max Weinbach, Nicky Weinbach, Dan Fitzpatrick, Jess Dungan, Marianne Deschrorers, Jared Young, Dan Miller, Reena Ezra, Allie Kroeper, Kaley Morrison, Justin Smith, Brian Boone, Rebecca Kaplan, Jose Gonzalez, Jake Kaye, RA Bartlett, Jason Zinoman, Jason Farr and Michael Sullivan- we slogged through this unmade movie.

How did it hold up over 30 years after it was written?

Honestly, pretty well.

Overall, I’d describe “Saturday Night Live: The Movie” as hit or miss with a pretty high hit ratio. There were more than a few very smart, very Harvard-y sketches that it’s a shame we’ll never get to see.

Now, without further ado, here is my complete review of each “Saturday Night Live: The Movie” sketch that we'll never get to see accompanied by my favorite bit from each (copied verbatim from the screenplay).

Enjoy.

INDISPUTABLE BONA FIDE CLASSICS:

“Dad’s Car” (written by Smigel, Conan, Daniels): A gleeful, absurd parody of the “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” dad’s car fixation. This sketch was so good it would fit right in on the fourth season of “The Simpsons.”

Best action sequence: “Three minutes remain before DAD returns. The kids ride their bikes up to the auto parts store. The doors are locked and a sign reads BACK IN 3.5 MINUTES.”

“Young Bush at Yale” (Downey, Franken, Smigel): Clearly written for Dana Carvey, the writing trio here skewers the limp former president’s “wouldn’t be prudent” persona to great comic effect. Featuring cameos from a rival JFK, competitive Bobby Kennedy, bodacious Barbara Bush, sidelined Reagan and even a young Cheney, I see this crackling satire as the genesis of Smigel’s later recurring “X-Presidents” TV Funhouse segment.

Best line: JFK to young Barbara Bush: “Yes, uh, I took the, uh, liberty of asking my father, Ambassador Joseph P. Kennedy, to check you out. And I must say, the more I know about you, the more I want to, uh, bed you down.”

“Blooper Credits” (Conan, Downey): Goofy outtakes must have been all the rage circa 1990 because this dark and gory takedown of good-natured post-credits follies really took them to task. Love the idea of a “wild dog leaping into an actor and biting him in the throat” before cutting to another “cut scene” like this wasn’t the most horrific thing you’ve ever witnessed.

Best bit: A cast member vomits in mid-sentence. The other actors laugh and we hear the director shout “cut!”

“Welcome to the Movies” (Conan, Smigel, Daniels): The flick kicks off with a “Let’s All Go To The Movies” style parody that begins normally enough before veering off into crazy town absurdity where they advise viewers that “Bigamy is illegal.” The first true big belly laugh of many in this zany anthology.

Best gag: The words “IT” “IS” “ILLEGAL” “TO” fly on one at a time, followed by “COMMIT” “BIGAMY” forming a sentence. Below it, another sentence shoots in: “PLEASE DON’T MARRY TWO PEOPLE.”

VERY SOLID ENTRIES:

“Cineplex” (Smigel, Conan, Daniels): Remember the days of trying to fit every single movie playing at the multiplex into a single trip? Well, this elaborate, intentionally complex 15-page gag-filled mini-film explains the great pains one must endure to make this a reality. 

Favorite instruction: “Okay. Now, try to act like you’ve just seen the movie. Talk about it. Say, ‘I liked the part where the fellow got angry.’” (Now if that line doesn’t sound like Conan, I don’t know what does).

“Romance” (Al Franken, Tom Davis): An illicit tryst between a would-be lothario and a stranded traveling mom in her 40s is punctuated by an extended running fart joke. But what a fart joke. Said lothario (assuming this would have been Phil Hartman) is a movie star who just can’t stop breaking wind at the most inopportune, romantic moments. Juvenile and somehow complex. I liked this way more than I should have.

Best moment: “He tries to time a fart with the ‘pop’ of the champagne cork, but the fart is twice as long as the pop of the cork.”

E.T.’s (Daniels, Smigel, Downey, Conan): One of comedy’s all-time dream teams puts together a pretty funny parody of a movie that was already eight years old when they wrote this bit. Here, the joke is that a suburban family accidentally kills every cute extra terrestrial they come in contact with. It’s goofy and would most likely really work with funny-looking “Mac and Me” style aliens.

Best dialogue: MOTHER: “He must have suffocated. I guess he breathed out of THIS end.”

“On The Farm” (Smigel, Conan, Daniels, Franken): Clearly another precursor to another SNL classic (“Cluckin’ Chicken”), “On The Farm” starts with a fairly familiar premise where cows are fed beef because it ends up tasting better. Then, they heighten to such absurd lengths that all you have to do is sit back and marvel at the sketch’s willingness to go there.

Choicest line: “We’ve gone as far as lobster-fed lobster-fed lobster-fed lobster.”

“Movie’s Over” (Conan, Smigel, Daniels): A simple goodbye calling back to the movie’s opening where nonsensical words addressing the crowd whoosh onscreen. 

Funniest bit: “YOU COULD HAVE SMOKED. WE WOULD HAVE BEEN POWERLESS TO STOP YOU.”

NOT QUITE GREAT: 

“Bum Piss Canyon” (Davis, Downey, Franken): Judging by the title alone, you can probably guess that this sketch ends with an apology. Still, I’ll give credit where it’s due- this one-joke idea where pee flows freely from New York City sewers to a beautiful canyon where thousands of Americans vacation had its moments. The “beautiful monument” being threatened by an asparagus canning plant was particularly inspired.

Line that was so dumb it made me laugh: “To the conquistadors, the first white men to gaze upon the Bum Piss, it was known as El Rio de Numero Uno.” 

“Wonderful Life” (Downey, Franken): Here, Ted Turner addresses the camera and speaks his piece on why he believes audiences find old movies boring. With their dull patter and wimpy dialogue, wouldn’t it be better to spice them up with a bit of vulgar language? He clicks into an old film and the joke presents itself: “It’s a Wonderful Life” but vulgarized. So, if the idea of Jimmy Stewart and Clark Gable cursing up a storm works for you, you’d love “Wonderful Life.” Definitely not my favorite of the bunch but you really can’t go wrong watching Stewart spew F-bombs wily nily.

Most Jimmy Stewart line: “In the whole vast configuration of things I’d say you were nothing but a stupid f—ing s—-head.”

“Tip Stealer” (Meyer): I’d read a review of “Saturday Night Live: The Movie” once before actually. In it, the critic effusively praised this con man genre parody as the best the movie had to offer. I beg to differ. While “Tip Stealer” certainly has its fair share of striking visual images (“Deftly he slaps the free end of the chopstick, and the money is catapulted up into his other hand), this over-baked, over-long effort by “The Simpsons’” most legendary writer mostly disappointed.

Most “Simpsons” line: “Do me a favor, Kelly. Define ‘good’ for me…Oh, and while you’re at it, why don’t you explain Watergate to me. And Iran/Contra.”

MISSES

Appeal #1, 2 and 3 (Downey, Franken): Recurring gags or “runners” are typically a refreshing shock to the system when watching any sketch program. You go, “Oh, yeah! I forgot about that bit! There it is again!” Not so much here. The “Appeal” is a parade of early ‘90s stars like Christopher Reeve (RIP), Glenn Close, Charlton Heston (RIP), Mary Tyler Moore (RIP), Carl Weathers, James Woods, Madonna and Clint Eastwood disagreeing about why they support the Walter Sternberg Foundation for Childhood Disease. The “running” gag here heightens when a collection plate is passed around the theater for the audience to donate to the foundation and predictably no one gives. Amusing idea, a bit too dry to work on the page.

The bit in a nutshell: “I’m certain that when the ushers once again circulate these cups, you will give generously. For the children. Once again, thank you.”

Crack Rap (Franken, Davis): A rap advice song to take “half a hit of crack” instead of a whole is kinda funny. The whole gag falls apart once the rapper tastelessly suggests that half hit so you don’t die young like ‘80s NBA prospect Len Bias. This one’s just mean.

A somewhat passable rhyme: “When the dude/Put the torch/To the bowl/Take half a hit/Not the whole.”

POSTSCRIPT: 

After the reading, the group came to a consensus why the movie didn’t work. Too many animals, too overstuffed (comedies really should be no more than 90 minutes), too inside baseball (multiple jokes about the forgotten film “The Presidio” for chrissakes), too many gross-out gags (pee AND farts?), too much excess.

Yet, I loved “Saturday Night Live: The Movie.” This fascinating kitchen sink mishmash of all these legendary writers’ greatest obsessions— mealy mouthed politicians, the Kennedys, smart scatalogical jokes, mild mannered actors letting loose, obscure references— is a perfect demonstration of everything that makes late ‘80s/early ‘90s “Saturday Night Live” so great. In fact, at times, I’d go so far as to argue that the movie is representative of everything golden era “Simpsons” would become in the next few years: 

Smirking, heartfelt, overly detailed, painstakingly written and rewritten to make the writers laugh first and foremost.

FINAL THOUGHTS: 

The screenplay tries to have its cake and eat it too and for that, I can’t help but wish “Saturday Night Live: The Movie” existed. Comedy nerds everywhere would have revered this as a cult classic.

It’s a shame we’ll never see this thing produced but as long as this screenplay floats around the fringes of the web, we can always wonder. And for me, that’s almost more fun.

With that, I will leave you with a truly fantastic line from the “Bush at Yale” sketch:

JFK: “Hey, dad, I’ve got an idea. Let’s see who can eat the most eggs.”

JOE: “You’re on.”

Bobby opens the fridge and the three Kennedys start Cool Hand Luking out.”

It's a shame we'll never see that perfectly stupid moment

Comedy Stray Notes July 4, 2022

• On paper, it doesn’t make sense.

Yet, on the second weekend in June, my eight-months pregnant wife Anna Paone, produced and starred in a truncated 25-page version of a feature film she wrote as her last pre-baby hurrah (she and I are into hurrahs).

The movie, titled “In Metuchen,” is one of her many magnum opuses. In it, she tells the story of a pregnant woman (obviously) on the run from her violent, drug dealing baby daddy (Anil Joseph owned this role; I assure you this is not based on me in any way, I swears it!). To get away from the stress-inducing hubbub, she and her friend (played with understated zeal by the great Georgie Exinord) takes refuge at her childhood home with her parents (portrayed by real-life mom Catherine Lamoreaux along with dad stand-in extraordinaire Bob Greenberg) and  younger sister (Laura Paone, a hoot acting as a version of herself).

Over the course of the short, Anna meets up with a colorful cast of characters that breathe life into the film. They are the “always gives 150%” Matt Holbert, reliably hilarious Pete Burdette, unbelievably natural Angela Pinero, subtle Julia Stibich, striking Nainesh Patel and chill Joe Beestock who came in on a walk-on role.

Heckuva cast.

Behind the camera, I helmed this three-day production. This was my first time directing a large project that wasn’t something I’d written and, my goodness, it’s much easier to be in charge of something you’re not incredibly precious about. I found myself to be much more flexible, low-maintenance and able to improvise.

As a result, we ideated more shots, threw out even more alternate lines to use in the cutting room than normal and allowed the actors to be more free to flesh out their already lived-in pre-written dialogue since everyone showed up off-book (the most important lesson for any set- make sure your actors know all their lines ahead of time). 

I couldn’t have done any of this without the help of a sturdy crew though. Backing me up, I had the gifted cinematographer Michael Seebold (who refused to eat while we filmed), thorough sound man Chris Condren and PA whiz kid Michelle Tang. Although the crew was small, we were mighty and got everything we needed and more.

Movies are never easy to pull off— there are too many intangibles. Somehow, my wife, kicking baby in tow, made it happen. My hat’s off to you. ‘Tis legit, m’lady.

• Mid-week, middle school crony Dylan Graham reached out over text and asked if I’d listened to this week’s episode of “My First Million,” a podcast hosted by my brother Ben’s business partner Shaan Puuri. I hadn’t. He said to tune in around the 44-minute mark.

I did.

There, Shaan shouted out Ben who had just stayed at his place. On Ben’s last day, Shaan found Ben drawing at his home. My brother explained that he was taking part in our family’s age-old tradition of concocting birthday posters for each other. This inspired Shaan to talk about our family and how cool my dad Andy Levy is for a good ten minutes.

I’ve never heard someone speak about my family reverentially from an outsider perspective before. Really nice to have a stranger confirm that your parents are as great as you’ve known they were your whole life.

Great job, mom and dad. Someday, I hope to be such a good parent that people I don’t know talk about it on podcasts. 

• All week, I’ve been raving to anyone and everyone that Bret Raybould and Cristian Duran’s “Race: The Movie: The Play” is a Broadway-bound crowd pleasing banger of a show in the tradition of “Book of Mormon.”

Last Tuesday, I attended a sold-out, laugh-filled performance that earned a full-on, well-deserved standing ovation at its conclusion with my pal Matt Storrs. From the last row, we saw the play’s reluctant hero, ignorant Wyatt Saveyer (played by Bret), an 1850s driver in the “Green Book” tradition, learn valuable lessons from his enlightened musician passenger Gene Yus (freaking Dean Edwards). Things obviously go haywire and this slapstick Mel Brooks homage spoofs overly preachy tropes from Oscar bait films like painfully obvious metaphors, moments of self realization, Tarantino, copyright law and Tyler Perry.

There are also a lot of jokes. So many jokes. The sheer amount of snarky highbrow bits mixed with shameless fart gags stuffed into their script blew me away. I didn’t know you could stuff that many punchlines into a play without losing sight of the story. Bravo.

Most impressively, the show expertly pulls off the high wire tightrope act of taking on hot-button issues without ever going over the line. As Bret told me, they know what they’re making fun of. It’s bold, gutsy, outrageous and self-aware, like all the best comedy should be.

That’s not even to mention the rest of the jaw-dropping cast.

Rounding out the ensemble are comedy all-stars including Ted Alexandro, Eagle Witt, Mia Faith Hammond, Andre Thompson, Derek Humphrey and Nick Whitmer to name just a few. 

Comedy fans, keep an eye out. It doesn’t matter whether this project becomes a movie, play or both, I can guarantee it’ll be huge and you’ll want to get in on the ground floor.

• Quintessential NYC comic Samantha Ruddy appeared on Fallon last week and predictably slayed. In her tight five set, she turned a simple premise about picking up a video game at Game Stop with her mom into a joke that zagged so many times where I expected it to zag, she left me breathless. If you want to see a set that’s a masterclass in misdirects, look no further. This is pure stand up comedy goodness.

• Now for something completely different. 

Should you be in the market for an act that defies expectations in a wholly unique way, try out Ryan Dee’s Mr. Pants shtick. Seen most recently on “America’s Got Talent” wowing the judges, Dee owns the stage with charming, inoffensive pant-based wordplay that you can’t help but love. Hell, it even melted Simon Cowell’s sick and twisted heart.

Ryan’s long been a champ at twisting comedy into an unusual package. Can’t wait to see how far this Mr. Pants journey takes him.

• As Anna and I settle into the home stretch of parenthood, we’re staying in more than ever to keep things light.

That means there’s been quite a bit of TV and movie time.

Here’s yet another sampling of everything I’ve completed these past few weeks as we slog through “Sopranos.”

“Reservation Dogs” (2021): This eight-episode series kicked off with a BANG. I’d argue that “Dogs’” pilot is the best I’ve ever seen, making me both genuinely laugh out loud and cry within a 30-minute span. No easy feat.

The rest of the series from Taiki Waititi and Sterlin Harjo does not match these high highs but maintains a leisurely pace that occasionally skews toward fairly heavy subject matter.

Taking place in Oklahoma, the show follows a group of four mischief-making Indigenous teens who steal trucks full of chips, battle other mini-gangs with paintball guns, reconnect with their elders and dream of moving to California.

Without ever getting too preachy, “Reservation Dogs” traffics in contemporary Native American issues like land ownership, what happens when you sell out your community by becoming a cop and honoring your past with sensitivity, warmth and humor.

Featuring quiet cameos from Bill Burr (doing his best to hide the Boston accent), Bobby Lee and stand out stars Lil Mike and Funny Bone, rapping twin brothers who steal the entire series, “RD” is uniquely its own thing occupying an untapped space in the TV world.

Real talk, Lil Mike and Funny Bone deserve a series all of their own.

Final verdict: Not a perfect season but one with a lot of heart, occasional randomness and willingness to be sincere over funny, it’s a winner (Streaming on Hulu; just picked up for a second season as well).

“Severance” (2022): A few months back, Kumail Nanjiani went viral hyperbolically tweeting “The season finale of Severance is one of the best episodes of television I’ve ever seen. I can’t love anything more.”

I sighed. Damn. Now, I HAD to see this series.

Over the course of ten episodes, this Ben Stiller-directed series starring Adam Scott, Britt Lower, Patricia Arquette, Zach Cherry,  John Turturro and Christopher Walken (Turturro and Walken have the most unpredictable onscreen relationship I’ve seen…ever) serves as one of the most insightful commentaries on our present reality where we can’t distinguish life from work that I’ve ever seen.

In “Severance’s” reality, employees at a mysterious corporation called Lumon are “severed” from their home lives meaning their work selves don’t know anything about their time spent off the clock and vice versa. Trust me, they explain it many, many times. 

Rather than focus on what the work is, the show pecks away at the various mechanisms companies employ to control the minds of their workers. Eventually, our curious subordinates decide to rage against the machine and break the system.

And yes. The finale really is something to behold as advertised.

Trigger warning though: some of “Severance” is truly disorienting, violent and upsetting.

Final verdict: Rarely funny but often surprising, stylish and humane, “Severance” is must-see TV for anyone that’s ever wanted to stick it to the man. Ironically, it’s on Apple TV, which just happens to be one of the world’s largest corporations. I see what they did there. (Streaming on Apple TV, as you may have noticed I just wrote in the last sentence).

Now, let’s all go to the movies.

“Marcel the Shell With Shoes On” (2022): A simple yet complex film that somehow makes you feel closer to the people (or shells) in your life. I’ll admit it, I welled up multiple times watching this emotionally resonant tale of a shell (voiced by Jenny Slate) separated from his shell family.

However, this movie, adapted from a viral web series that had a receptive audience made up of kids and adults in the AMC theater I saw it in, has a lot to say. Observations about people new to film sets, how filmmaking is a type of avoidance for creators, friendships with the elderly, fandom of unusual shows like “60 Minutes” all rang true. The line “Why do I smile? Because it’s worth it” might be the best lesson anyone can take away from any film in history.

Also, the fact that they continually roast documentaries for not being “real filmmaking” is in the running for my favorite running joke in any movie I’ve seen this year.

Plus, “MtSwSO’ is a showcase of what can be done with handcrafted miniatures and stop motion. Each frame is lovingly rendered and somehow makes vomit both hysterical and cute.

Somehow, they even made the annoying story beat where “a character goes viral to solve all of their problems” not make me vomit. That’s a feat in and of itself.

I have minor quibbles with the film— I’d have preferred more interaction with the outside world and a slightly shorter runtime (TV has ruined me)— but it’s hard to complain about something so dang loveable. 

Final verdict: Oftentimes, I think this beautiful film was just a pastiche of Slate riffs. That might be what makes “Marcel” so special. It felt like childhood wonder which is really what all movies should aspire to (now in theaters).

“Eraserhead” (1977): You know how you have a ton of movies that you’ve seen eight minutes of, turn off and never finish? That was “Eraserhead” for me for years. 

The first ten minutes are a chore to get through.

This time, I told myself I’d power through and I’m very glad I made the push. David Lynch’s debut, which took six years to complete, was as effed up and weird and advertised.

I liked it quite a bit.  

Lynch’s movie accomplishes a lot with a little. At times, “Eraserhead” is a fun house version of the queasy jump from aimlessness to adulthood. Our afro-wearing protagonist goes from a space-y, thoughtless existence to meeting his girlfriend’s overbearing parents who serve a chicken with a beating heart to becoming a father in mere minutes. 

From there, this 90-minute surreal experimental horror morphs into a scary treatise on parenthood itself as an ill-equipped couple had to take care of a crying baby (well, the infant looks more like the prototype for E.T. than anything else) that couldn’t quiet down for even a minute. 

This all leads to “Eraserhead’s” climax which was so disturbing, raw and mean-spirited it made me shake.

Still, jeez, what a movie.

Final verdict: Visceral and just as original as when it was released 45 years ago, this movie isn’t for the faint of heart but definitely as essential as it’s been made out to be. Consider this the anti-”Marcel the Shell” (Streaming on Criterion).

“Withnail and I” (1987): Another classic I watched ten minutes of years ago and couldn’t quite finish. 

Having now completed this slow burn, I understand why I couldn’t get all the way through. It’s not all that funny.

There, I said it!

 One gag with absurdly salacious headlines at the top of the film made me laugh but that was it.

Known as a cult classic beloved by pretty much everyone who’s anyone in comedy, this two-hander mostly just made me feel uncomfortable. A pair of narcissistic actor buddies go to the countryside to take advantage of one of their uncle’s cottages was tough to sit through. Our two insufferable heroes are preyed upon by a predatory uncle and do everything they can to escape.

That’s exactly how I felt, dudes.

Final verdict: Maybe I’ll get it someday but this movie, which I sat through in its entirety, never did it for me. Feel free to explain to me while I’m wrong. I’d love to know what I missed (Streaming on Criterion).

• Now, for some smaller hits from the week.

TRAILERS

- “The Resort,” from the guys who brought you “Palm Springs” and “Mr. Robot” dropped an advert this week and the miniseries looks darker, moodier and funnier than it has any right to. A disintegrating marriage and an unconventional, time traveling murder mystery has perfect binge material potential (Streaming on Peacock).

-Peacock also dropped the teaser for “Shrink,” a series about an amateur therapist this week. Laughed multiple times at the inept analyst and how his patients questioned his every move. Lots of excitement from this camp for this one (Yes, streaming on Peacock).

SKETCH

- Michael Sullivan turned me on to “Shrinkers Pizza,” a short where a pizza place shrinks your kids and…I’m not about to spoil the great joke here. This funny concept is boosted by the plain, cheesy delivery of horrifying truths shared by good natured folks. Made me exclaim, “Holy Shnikees,” I laughed so hard. Highly recommend this 2.5-minute mini masterpiece.

STAND UP

- Social media was flooded this week with tributes to the late, great Nick Nemeroff. I’d never crossed paths with the guy but did pay my respects by checking out his Conan set from 2018. Nick’s superb deadpan and clever one-liners are great but it’s the last three minutes of his tight five where he deconstructs the vapidity of comedy made me an instant fan. I could watch it on a loop and never tire of its meta brilliance. It’s next level stuff.

RIP, Nick. You were a real gem.

• Finally, it’s my bday on Tuesday, July 12. I’ll be 34, meaning I have just one year left in the coveted 18-34 demo.

To celebrate, on Sunday, July 10, I’m going to be doing a reading of the “lost” 1990 “Saturday Night Live: The Movie” screenplay written by Lorne Michael, Robert Smigel, Conan O’Brien and other people you know and love. How did I get my hands on this script? Long story.

Either way, if you’d like to take part, please DM me by Thursday and I’ll add you to the list.

See you then, fam