Well, I haven’t done any comedy for the past two weeks. There are no Comedy Stray Notes other than I watched a ton of movies like “The Mule” (pretty fun) and “Vice” (way better than people said IMO) on very long plane rides.
However, I did go on an 11-day trip to Hong Kong, Taipei and Tokyo with my family. Yeah, I'm 30 and still travel with my parents. No shame. Here are some things about the trip (Full disclosure: this is a LONG mixture of anecdotes, travel tips, things you might not know about these countries that I didn’t see in travel materials and a promo for upcoming comedy stuff for me. Yes, I really do that at the end).
• To get to Hong Kong from New York, I flew to LAX and sprinted to the gate because my second flight was boarding like 15 minutes after we landed. You’re not supposed to stand up to de-plane until a light goes off in the plane so I crouched in my aisle seat like I was on a sprinter’s block to make it to the next one and made it from the 15th row to the front of the plane. Made it on at the last second. Took my seat. The seat was wet. The person next to me played dumb about it. Pretended they didn’t know it was wet or didn’t cause it. Strange confrontation for the start of a 14-hour flight. THEN they said, “You’re Jewish. What are you doing for Passover?” That took me by surprise since I didn’t disclose anything about being Jewish. So I just nodded and didn’t say anything. Finally, this same person said, “We’re going to die on this flight.” Really kept the conversation to a minimum after that.
• Got to Hong Kong and we did the currency exchange in the airport. This is vital information for international travel. Always get that paper in the airport. Otherwise, you’ll be frantically going from ATM to ATM and be getting rejected. We did this in every country after running out of cash. Luckily, we had Miles Friedman to guide us around the Country (my cousin who lives in Hong Kong). If you don't have someone that knows what they're doing, it's so much harder.
• People in Hong Kong speak Cantonese. Not Mandarin. So you don’t say “Ni hao” or “Xiexie” like I stupidly expected. Instead it’s “Neih hou” for hello (pronounced differently than ni hao) and “Ng goi" for “Thank you.” I learned a few other phrases but unfortunately have already forgotten them. My brain is not powerful at retaining language.
• Hong Kong is pretty Americanized. Almost shockingly so. There is a 7/11 on every corner. People were shocked when I told them we had it in America too. Everyone thinks 7/11 belongs to just their country. No, 7/11 belongs to the world.
• Also, McDonalds is everywhere. We all know that already. The major difference is that McD’s is WAY more gourmet in Asia (especially Hong Kong). I didn’t actually eat there but everything looked delicious.
• The most interesting thing I ate in HK was an apple at a street market that had the crispy consistency of a watermelon. Really took me by surprise. Man, these would take off in America. It’s always such a welcome surprise to try new produce.
• In terms of transport, the absolute coolest thing I saw from the three countries I visited was the ding ding buses in HK. They are very narrow double decker trolleys with ads plastered all over them. They look retro and futuristic which is everyone’s favorite kind of design. We rode one the last night of our stay here and it was really the most fun way to get around a city I’ve ever experienced.
• The rain in Hong Kong was brutal. One day of the trip, it got dark at 2:15 in the afternoon. We attempted to walk outside for just a minute but it was coming down violently. Instead, the family hung out in a mall. Their malls are MASSIVE. Many American stores, movie theaters playing American films and cartoonishly tall escalators that look like they’re taking you to heaven.
• I don’t know if this was just me but I noticed maybe a dozen really nice-looking, groomed stray dogs. This could have been an anomaly or maybe their owners just weren’t around but there were really nice dogs just hanging out in the streets by themselves. Struck me as odd.
• All of the street markets had your typical touristy-fare, stuff you might get in an infomercial and...James Harden bobbleheads? I didn’t buy one but they were everywhere.
• Left for Taipei early in the morning and flew Cathay Pacific Airways. The flight was short but this was the nicest aircraft I’ve ever been on. This might have to do with me being bumped up to business class for no reason but it was incredible. The food was delicious on the flight (a flaky sausage roll) but the most impressive thing was really mundane for me. You know how that food tray thing usually pulls out from the seat in front of you? This one pulled UP and OUT from your armrest. Way better.
• My family didn’t use public transportation once during our two days in Taipei. Instead, we took Ubers everywhere. This is extremely wise for international travel because a lack of understanding the language (Mandarin here which was a bit easier for me with a limited familiarity with Mandarin phrases) it’s really hard to convey where you want to go to a cab driver even if it’s as simple as the airport or baseball stadium. I tried to act out baseball stadium by pretending to swing a bat like a dumb American to our driver and that only confused him more.
• We stayed on a street in Taipei that was right next to so many great things. There’s a type of arcade all over Asia where you can input roughly the equivalent of a dollar into a toy machine/bin and get a weird toy out. Some of the toys you could win included: baby yoga dog, Where’s Wally (NOT Waldo), deep fried animals and people with faces to name a few. Our place was also right next to an ice cream-type shop called Mango Cha-Cha that made kakigori which is a type of sweeter snow cone with toppings all over it. There’s a new location in NYC that serves it. I will be there all the time. You have to try it.
• Took a food tour with a guide who claimed his favorite movie was “Mr. Holland’s Opus.” The most interesting thing he showed us was that houses in Taipei used to be very public where there was no door and your living room was just open to the world almost like a small shop. What a friendly idea. As for the actual food tour, our guide, had us try stinky tofu (the taste lingers), showed us duck’s head for sale, ate very tasty noodles, sampled dried fruits, drank teas, bought fried chicken that took 20 minutes (it was a fast food establishment but they pride themselves on each order taking a long time) as well as many different kinds of buns. At first, I was a little down on the idea of a food tour guide because I wanted to eat what I wanted to eat but after thinking about it, my family was right. It was better to try things I wouldn’t normally try.
• The final leg of the tour was my favorite by far. Tokyo. It exceeded all of my very high expectations. The most impressive thing, however, about Tokyo and Japan is how the culture is built on politeness above all else. This was exemplified more than ever one night when my family was lost in a train station. I was trying to navigate and I asked someone how to get to the right train to take us home. This stranger got up, left the train they were at and walked us right to the platform in a totally different part of the massive station probably five minutes away. That was a level of selflessness that blew me away. One of our waiters Yuki Giga wanted to take a picture with our family just to be nice. And now we're Facebook friends! An Uber driver friend Koki Matsuo also requested me on Facebook. So cool to just make a bunch of new friends (well, just two officially). Either way, it made the whole trip for me.
• I saw two baseball games on the trip. One was in Taipei to see the Fubon Guardians which was like a Triple-A level baseball game. Fun, but small. In Tokyo, we saw the Yomiuri Giants at the Tokyo Dome. It was so cool. Just a regular season game that felt like the World Series. Fans were AMPED for the game. Baseball can officially say, “We’re big in Japan.” The crowd was so passionate. YET still polite. Fans of the Giants only cheered when they were on offense. They kept quiet while on the field. It wasn’t normal cheering though. There were songs ready to go for each batter. Never a moment of silence. People took off their shoes in the standing room only section. If you get the chance, go to a game. Way more fun than in the States and this is coming from a rabid MLB fan.
• My Mom’s number one destination on the trip was the world’s only hedgehog cafe. Literally just a shop you walk into and pick up hedgehogs at. There are also owl cafes and snake cafes. Interesting concept and a little weird but pretty fun.
• The most interesting restaurant my family went to was in Harajuku (yes, of the Harajuku girls from Gwen Stefani way back when) called Kawaii Monster Cafe. It was described as walking into “Alice in Wonderland” and that’s pretty much what it was. Very colorful, a dance performance during the meal, gaudy shakes and rainbow-colored pasta. The food was so-so but experience-wise, it was unparalleled. Kinda like Chuck E. Cheese while on psychedelics for adults. Kind of expensive but Andy Levy footed (do you use past tense here?) the bill without a complaint.
• Tokyo is like New York in that there are an unbelievable amount of tourists there. You ever wonder what happened to the anime kids from high school? They became anime adults and they live here now. I honestly wanted to start an Instagram called “White People of Japan” (I’d be the first installment). There are so many tourists too (not anime people), in fact, that I actually saw restaurants called “Rick’s” and “Jonathon’s” which were essentially just places that you could get a normal burger at if you didn’t want top notch ramen, sushi or yakitori. We didn’t go to one of these places BUT we did go to Denny’s on the last day because they had a mango breakfast that I had to try. I can confirm that it was very good.
• Every hotel we stayed at had continental breakfast but the one in Tokyo (Hotel Sardonyx) was far and away the best. They had karaage (fried chicken with dark meat), spring rolls, meatballs, fried rice, fruit, croissants and mochi just for breakfast. Highly recommend staying here if you visit (you should go for the 2020 Olympics if you’re looking for an excuse to travel to Japan). Also, every night, we watched table tennis on TV in the hotel before bed. It wasn’t ESPN but more like a local sports channel like a Fox Sports or something and made going to sleep every night enjoyable.
• A large trend overseas is the new cashless card. In Hong Kong, it’s called the “octopus card” and in Japan it’s called the “IC card” (we didn’t come across one in Taipei). Essentially, you fill a card up and when you check out at a register, you just put it up to a scanner and pay instantly. No chip insertion or swipe. Tells you your balance right away too but there’s no shame in that ‘cause it’s a fun card made to pay for transit and snacks and things. Really came in handy and is something I could see being adopted in the US soon.
• Didn’t realize just how good the ice cream would be overseas. They have perfected soft serve. My family indulged in a lot of matcha and I had many vanilla cones. Each one was unique and exemplary.
• Due to time constraints, I missed out on Dr. Stretch (a shop I saw in Tokyo a few times) which I wanted to do. Basically, you pay for 30 minutes to have someone stretch you out. Sounds like physical therapy but no strings attached of needing a doctor’s note or a co-pay. Also, the name Dr. Stretch sounds like a great villain.
• Visited a food replica store by chance. Ya know, how you go to restaurants and they have food outside and you’ll be like, “Oh, that’s what the crepe is going to look like!” That’s a whole industry. I saw two-foot high hamburgers, a pizza hat (which I wore) and bought a sushi keychain. Cool thing to seek out if you visit and not on any travel guide I don’t think (full disclosure my brother and Mom did nearly all of the planning and I just read guidebooks when we were there).
• One of the last things we did on the trip was go to TeamLab Borderless. It’s a new tech-centric museum that you gotta see to believe. Basically, images never stay the same and there are no “true borders” to the museum. Peacocks walk on walls, you can climb stuff, there’s a room for lamps my brother Ben Levy repeatedly referred to as an “Instagrammer’s paradise” too. This is another must-vist.
• My brother Sam Levy shot video the entire trip. There might be a few Vlogs coming out soon for each Country.
That’s all for the trip. As for me this week, I’ll be catching a few performances of the very talented Anna E. Paone in “The Importance of Being Earnest” at duCret in Plainfield, New Jersey. Go check it. Also, I’m back at V-Spot doing my weekly show tomorrow. Swing by! Let’s talk Tokyo.